I’ve had a few days to calm down since the West Ham game, which is always for the best, because as Newcastle United fans we can all be a bit reactionary.
With hindsight then, I’m going to say that Monday was the worst result we’ve had since Eddie Howe took over.
For context, in Eddie’s first three years, we only lost seven home league games: three vs the Achilles heel of Liverpool, twice to Man City and once to Arsenal. Basically the three top teams of that time.
The exception was that Boxing Day calamity against Chris Wood and Forest, before this season’s dip that has seen both Brighton and now West Ham take the points here. The fact that the Forest game came smack in the middle of the horrendous injury run and fixture pile-up that derailed the last campaign gives it some justification, albeit it was the worst example of getting roasted on the break amongst a pretty bad run of this happening too much.
For West Ham, there was no such justification.
The return of both Wilson and Trippier off the bench meant this was surely the strongest squad we’ve had on a matchday in that whole time. Yes, the absence of the injured Botman and the suspended Burn was disruptive, especially given that their replacement Lloyd Kelly was at fault for the West Ham opener, but I defy anyone to say this squad was a centre half away from a winning performance.
Monday night was an example of Newcastle United at our very worst, with wayward passing, ponderous attacks, appalling set plays and careless finishing, all self-inflicted factors in a rank underperformance. Given the opponent was struggling and our own form was good coming into the game, this was inexplicable, but sadly not unexpected. Monday night was another recurrence of what I am now calling Newcastle United’s Mr Hyde performance.
I’m sure most will be aware of the character, but Mr Hyde is the antagonist in Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel The strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, and the many spin offs of the tale that have existed in pop culture in the 130 years since its publication. I’m sure everyone knows the premise, where Jekyll (a fine upstanding man) transforms into Hyde (evil, murderous, bit of a wrong un) in order to get away with mischief without being recognised. After a while the medically induced transformations become regular and involuntary, and chaos, misery and disaster ensues.
Newcastle United have, over the past 12-18 months or so, developed a bad case of the Mr Hydes. In their Jekyll state, United have some of the finest passers in the league, with swift interplay, pinpoint long balls and controlled possession. In Mr. Hyde performances we have attempted passes blootered straight out of play, careless dithering or silly attempts to run through opponents losing possession dangerously and a distinct failure to play a final ball. In attack, the Dr, Jekyll version is clinical, boasting one of the world’s most clinical strikers and the sort of variety of finishing prowess that can win 8-0 with eight different scorers. In Hyde mode, it’s no shots on target at home for an hour against bottom half opponents.
Evan Ferguson Goal Brighton
Overall, I’d say that the first incident of Mr Hyde was at Brighton in the early stages of last season, a truly awful display from a United side we assumed were adjusting to the new season with some summer additions. Since then I would class the following as Mr Hyde performances:
2023/24: Brighton (A), Bournemouth (A), Everton (A), Spurs (A), Milan (H – second half), Luton (A), Forest (H), Luton (H), Bournemouth (H), Chelsea (A), Palace (A), Brighton (H), Man Utd (A)
24/25: Fulham (A), Brighton (H), West Ham (H)
This isn’t an exhaustive list of defeats by the way. There are a few disappointing draws in there and a couple of weaker performances like Liverpool and Arsenal away last season have been excused, due to the performance of the opposition as opposed to how poor we were.
I would stand by the fact though that Newcastle turned in awful performances in all of the above, often out of absolutely nowhere, with a decent or even impressive performance in the match preceding it. This has got to the point where everyone was against West Ham, where all logic pointed to a home win, but we all had doubts that it might just turn out exactly as it did. Sure enough, up shows Hyde and away go the points.
From the list above I work out that, since the start of last season, a variant on the Hyde performance has come out 16 times in 66 games. That’s roughly one in every four matches and even if you haven’t said as much, I bet most people will be approaching every game they sit down or head off to watch wondering if it will be one of the 25%.
The West Ham one feels like a bit of a sting in the tail. All of last year’s poor shows were under the cloud of that horrible injury list, with the spectre of PSR making reinforcements impossible in the January window.
I debated whether to include Brighton this season on the above list, while it was a below par showing on our own ground, it was arguably understandable as a classic away performance from a good side.
Danny Welbeck Brighton Goal Newcastle Pope Livramento Hall
As I said though, West Ham were bereft on Monday, coming to St James’ Park in poor form under a managerial appointment that hasn’t worked out, with a key player suspended. Newcastle United contrived to beat themselves without any real explanation as to why they appeared so out of sorts. The point I’m making here isn’t that we should never lose, but that we should not be so regularly, horribly, underperforming.
I wonder how much the decline of Kieran Trippier has impacted this team. His contribution over the last few years has been enormous. As a voice, he marshalled the defence, as a captain he led the team with distinction and his dominance of dead balls meant that our set-pieces looked far better than the preparation that seems to go into them would ever allow. The fact he provided so many assists also masked the fact we were horribly undercooked in the right-wing position. Trippier seems to be nearing the end of his time here, but he should be fully vaunted for the way he dragged this team up to standard, before his form fell away and the team, to some extent at least, topple with him. It feels like we’re now in a catch-22 where Bruno as captain is an obvious disaster, but to reverse the decision would look a bit clueless and might have a negative affect on the lad.
I don’t believe that shouting for Eddie Howe to be removed is an appropriate response to this tail-off. Howe has done wonders in his renaissance of this club and at least deserves a chance to get this season on track. I am however, starting to think we need to go all in on the cups, in the desperate hope that Hyde does not show his face in any otherwise winnable ties. If this salvation doesn’t arrive, we may well see wholesale changes next summer.
For the league, things are wide open in a bit of a mad Premier League season. However, every time United get a chance to make inroads up the table, guess what happens? If you take a look at the ten away games we have after Christmas, it’s going to be tricky getting a run together. Even trickier when you’re slapping the self-destruct a quarter of the time.
I don’t want to hammer the seasonal affective disorder with a miserable outlook on the times ahead. I honestly think anything could happen at Palace today, but the spectre of Hyde is casting a shadow that any given match could be another one of “those” games.
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