Newcastle United suffered a Selhurst Park sickener as Crystal Palace equalised in the fourth minute of injury time to earn a deserved 1-1 draw.
In truth, the Magpies were lucky to escape with a point from a contest in which their only attempt at goal was a Joelinton blocked shot in the opening period.
Yes, you read that right, we failed to muster a shot on or off target in 100 minutes of football against the side that sat second-bottom of the table at kick-off.
Anyone hoping for a response to Monday's miserable defeat to West Ham was left sorely disappointed once again, as the likes of Bruno Guimarães, Joelinton, and Anthony Gordon put in stinking displays in South London.
Eddie Howe also needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror after a horrific week, with the head coach seemingly incapable of getting this team to play anywhere near the sum of their parts at the moment.
Here's how we rated it, with some surprisingly good individual scores considering how rancid the overall performance and result was...
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Serena Taylor/Newcastle United
Sandro Tonali put in a strong performance at the base of the midfield trio and must surely start from now on
The Good
Sandro Tonali didn't deserve that late equaliser to go against him. Playing at the base of our midfield for the first time for a full 90 minutes in the league, he just edged Lewis Hall to our Man of the Match award. His reading of the game was excellent, his passing was crisp, and the one time he got to take a corner he put in the best delivery of the contest.
Lewis Hall was another in white who had a good day at the office, though his set-piece deliveries left quite a bit to be desired. He connected with a teammate on just 1/8 occasions when crossing the ball and was weak in duels, winning just 2/9. His use of the ball was typically excellent, however, and he again had the most touches of anyone in the team.
At the heart of the defence, Fabian Schär and Dan Burn each made goal-saving interventions and did a good job of keeping Mateta quiet. They completed a combined 22 defensive actions, but weren't the greatest in one-on-one duels, winning just 7/15. Schär's passing was again a bit off, too, (and his facial hair made him look like a pirate.)
Nick Pope was on for the Man of the Match award until he was beaten at his near post by Muñoz for Palace's late equaliser. Before that, he'd made a couple of massive saves to keep us in front, and his handling from high crosses was exemplary. His kicking wasn't even as bad as it normally is, either, certainly not when compared to Henderson at the other end.
Of the substitutes, Harvey Barnes had the most minutes on the pitch by far due to Isak's early injury and looked menacing in an unusual right-wing role. Though he faded out of the match after half-time, he was dangerous on the dribble and delivered some really good crosses that might've led to chances if we'd had a proper striker on the pitch.
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Serena Taylor/Newcastle United
Eddie Howe doesn't seem to have the answers to turn our performances around this season, unfortunately
The Bad
This was a day to forget for Joelinton, who was as bad as we've seen him since his move back to midfield from striker. The fact he was asked to play as a left wing-back probably didn't help him, but he won just 5/15 duels, didn't make a single tackle, and was primarily to blame for the late equaliser when losing his man from Guehi's cross.
Eddie Howe followed up his atrocious display on Monday night with another horror show here, putting out a side that didn't manage to muster a shot in 100 minutes of football against the team who sat second-bottom in the league at kick-off. Why, oh, why didn't he use our remaining substitutes to help see out the game, either? He needs to sort things out and sharpish.
Bruno Guimarães looks like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders at the moment. He made just 70% of his 40 passes—a completion rate almost as bad as Pope's—and didn't make a single tackle. Granted he was playing in a somewhat unusual position due to Tonali being the deepest-lying midfielder, but this was very, very far from a captain's performance.
Although he made the vital cross for our goal, we're sick of the sight of Anthony Gordon at the moment and think he needs a spell on the bench. His head just doesn't seem to be in it and the amount of times he fails to execute a simple pass or see a runner beyond him is an absolute joke. His drop-off from last season to this has been astounding.
Joe Willock didn't do a great deal wrong, but he just floats through games like these when we need him to step up and drive us forward. We're not convinced he has the mentality to be a consistently good player for us, but we do appreciate he's still relatively recently back from injury and he was playing after taking a heavy knock on Monday night.
The other two substitutes used by Howe were Callum Wilson and Sean Longstaff, who each contributed next to nowt as we sought to hold on to our lead. They managed 13 touches between them in a combined 40 minutes of play, with Wilson losing possession on four occasions. Longstaff looked like a fish out of water playing as a defacto left-midfielder, unsurprisingly.
How rotten are Crystal Palace these days, by the way? We managed a measly 0.02 expected goals—a solitary Joelinton blocked shot—and they still almost lost to us. Yes, Pope had to make a couple of good stops and there were heroic tackles/blocks from Schär and Burn, but they were so passive and poor in possession, a counter or two aside.
Alexander Isak gets injured as soon as Wilson's back. What a surprise. He's made of paper, our lethal Swede, and you could see as soon as he got that knock to the hip, he was itching to go off. It's a miracle he's stayed fit for as long as he has, to be fair.
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Richard Pelham/Getty Images
A late equaliser was always a danger when we failed to put the game beyond Palace with a second goal
The Average
Tino Livramento didn't have a bad game, but he just didn't do enough to influence things in the final third for our liking. It didn't help him that Gordon kept ignoring his overlapping runs in the early part of the game, of course. Defensively he was typically solid, with Eze getting next to no change out of him one-on-one.
As for the referee, it's hard for us to point too much of a finger at Darren England for our shortcomings at Selhurst Park. He got all the major calls right, tried to let play go on at every opportunity, and dished out cards when they were warranted.
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Serena Taylor/Newcastle United
Harvey Barnes did well from the bench and must be putting Anthony Gordon under pressure for a start now
The Breakdown
With a high of '7' and a low of '2', here's how we scored everyone from Pope through to England:
The XI
Nick Pope – 7
Tino Livramento – 6
Fabian Schär – 7
Dan Burn – 7
Lewis Hall – 7
Bruno Guimarães (c) – 4
Sandro Tonali – 7
Joe Willock – 5 (off 75')
Anthony Gordon – 5 (off 75')
Alexander Isak – 5 (off 22')
Joelinton – 2
The Subs
Harvey Barnes – 7 (on 22')
Callum Wilson – 5 (on 75')
Sean Longstaff – 5 (on 75')
The Gaffer
Eddie Howe – 3
The Opposition
Crystal Palace – 5
The Ref
Darren England – 6
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Michael Steele/Getty Images
We're praying that Lewis Hall can do to Mo Salah what he did to Bukayo Saka against Arsenal a month ago
The Next
Joy of joys, top-of-the-table Liverpool will roll into town on Wednesday evening for a 7.30 p.m. (GMT) kick-off that'll be shown live on Amazon Prime.
We'll no doubt be a lot more up for this game than we were for the last one under the lights at St James', but we'd be shocked if we got anything. Still...
Howay the lads!