You will be shocked to learn that computer says Liverpool will win the Premier League, especially after Pep Guardiola’s ‘hand gesture’.
Talk to the hand
Liverpool’s 2-0 win over Manchester City was pretty damned entertaining (unless you’re a blue).
There were narratives galore – not least Pep Guardiola giving it the old ‘six fingers’ to the Liverpool fans.
Do you know what it didn’t need? Click-baiting to absolute f***. But when did that ever stop MailOnline?
Pep Guardiola aims hand gesture at Liverpool fans in response to ‘you’re getting sacked in the morning’ chant during Man City’s 2-0 defeat at Anfield
It turns out doctors have been doing ‘hand gestures’ to concussed footballers for years. Seems harsh.
Losing our collective mindsThere are many drawing comparisons between Guardiola and many of the ‘hand gestures’ made by Jose Mourinho over the years.
The Sun have a classic of the genre, quoting ‘fans’ who obviously collectively believe the same thing. As ‘fans’ always do.
Pep Guardiola does a Jose Mourinho with gesture to Liverpool crowd as fans convinced Man City boss has ‘lost his mind’
The report then quotes exactly one ‘fan’ – an Arsenal ‘fan’ as it happens – who does indeed suggest that Guardiola has ‘lost his mind’.
So that definitely deserves a higher billing on The Sun football website than actual Sun journalists writing about Liverpool and Manchester City playing actual football.
Worth the admission fee alonePep Guardiola then joked that maybe he deserved the sack. With a smile which you can see here:
“Maybe I deserve to be sacked!” 🤣
Pep Guardiola on his response to the Anfield crowd 👀
🔗 https://t.co/uZR8ycsLdr pic.twitter.com/Lcd1UHKuoi
— Hayters TV (@HaytersTV) December 1, 2024
And no, Mirror Football, that is not a ‘startling admission’; it’s a f***ing joke.
Liverpool predicted to win Premier League; who saw that coming?
Liverpool battered Manchester City on Sunday in every way but the scoreline. It was a 2-0 annihilation that left the Reds top of the Premier League table, nine points ahead of Arsenal and a barely believable 11 points clear of Manchester City. They are around 4/7 favourites with almost all bookmakers; to those who don’t understand odds, that means that they would be expected to win the Premier League from this position seven of 11 times.
They are – against all pre-season odds – finding the Premier League a piece of p***; no manager has ever started this well in this competition.
John Cross went to Anfield for the Daily Mirror and wrote that ‘Liverpool’s jubilant fans stood to salute their heroes after a remarkable, thumping and defining victory. They had surely witnessed the coronation of the new champions.’ He noted that ‘it would take an almighty collapse – and a three game swing – on Liverpool’s part to blow it from here’.
But frankly f*** him, he can get relegated way down the page, because the Mirror think we need a supercomputer – handily owned by a betting company, which bizarrely own more supercomputers than the entire IT industry – to tell us that there is a ‘CHANGING OF THE GUARD’.
You don’t say.
‘Premier League supercomputer predicts new final table with Liverpool winning the title and Man Utd enduring miserable season under Amorim.’
Come back when a supercomputer, a normal computer or any actual person predicts that Liverpool will NOT win the title.
‘The big story of the weekend in the Premier League was reigning champions Manchester City falling 11 points off the pace, and the numbers suggest we’ll have a new champion come May.’
Well the table suggests that.
‘So, is City’s latest lost the final nail in their title hopes? According to a supercomputer, Pep Guardiola can indeed wave goodbye to any hope of a fifth straight season as league champions.’
According to a supercomputer and any/all logic. It was indeed an expensive ‘lost’.
MORE ON MAN CITY CRISIS FROM F365…
👉Mailbox: Liverpool win ‘nervy as hell’ as Man City star no longer ‘camouflaged’
👉 Man City star aims nasty dig at Liverpool after Guardiola ‘sacked in the morning’ calls
👉 Keane, Carragher and Richards agree on Man City ‘liability’ after Liverpool defeat
But we all know why the Mirror have given top billing to a predicted Premier League table: It’s the lure of that ‘miserable’ season under Ruben Amorim.
‘Manchester United have enjoyed a promising start under new head coach Ruben Amorim, but the supercomputer isn’t convinced the Portuguese can deliver European football. It has United remaining in their current position of ninth, below Brighton, Newcastle and Brentford.’
Because the supercomputer is not a sentient being so cannot be ‘convinced’ of anything, and crucially has no idea that Ruben Amorim exists.
Last season Manchester United finished in eighth and are currently and deservedly ninth, so of course the maths tell us that they will finish ninth again. A supercomputer that predicted otherwise would have that prefix stripped from their title.
Obviously, such a computer would not make headlines about a ‘miserable’ season being on the cards for Amorim. So f*** that computer.
Is this the ultimate headline?
‘I heard Pep Guardiola make title admission and it speaks volumes about Liverpool chance’
Oh Liverpool.com/Reach, you are really spoiling us now.