An octopus-like goalkeeper, a star who deserved a Ballon d'Or and a midfielder who would rock up hungover to training.
These are just some of the stars that made Rafael van der Vaart's dream five-a-side team using his former teammates when he sat down with talkSPORT as a guest on the The Lineup.
Van der Vaart played for his country more than 100 times and called Edwin van der Sar, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Edgar Davids teammates
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Van der Vaart played for his country more than 100 times and called Edwin van der Sar, Ruud van Nistelrooy and Edgar Davids teammatesCredit: Getty
The 41-year-old has played alongside some serious superstars at club and international level from Luka Modric and Gareth Bale at Tottenham to Xabi Alonso at Real Madrid and Ruud Van Nistelrooy at international level where he won 109 Netherlands caps.
It's why Van der Vaart had such a difficult time whittling his best teammates down to just five.
So, who made the World Cup runner-up's team?
Goalkeeper: Edwin van der Sar
Van der Vaart began by picking his compatriot between the sticks.
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"The only goalkeeper that in training or in games, you look at the goal and go, 'Where should I shoot,'" Van der Vaart recalled.
"Because he was that huge. So good with his feet. By far the best goalie."
The pair played 46 games together, all of which came on the international stage with the Netherlands.
Van der Sar also proved to be a constant thorn in the side of Premier League strikers, especially during his 266-game stint at Manchester United.
During his time there, Van der Sar helped the Red Devils win four Premier League titles, the Champions League, two League Cups and a Club World Cup.
Defender: Sergio Ramos
Ramos' 16-year stint at Real Madrid was laden with trophies and he was a big reason why.
Ramos skippered Madrid to a wealth of titles
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Ramos skippered Madrid to a wealth of titlesCredit: Getty
Van der Vaart played with Ramos at Real Madrid and was impressed by his skill level
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Van der Vaart played with Ramos at Real Madrid and was impressed by his skill levelCredit: Getty
His crunching tackles would leave rival forwards fearful of daring to take him on a second time, although Ramos did have a penchant for being overly aggressive and picking up bookings, meaning there is the danger that Van der Vaart would only be left with four players on the five-a-side pitch though.
Ramos also proved to be rather adept at the other end of the field as he scored 101 goals for Madrid in all competitions, a remarkable feat for a centre-back.
Van der Vaart played alongside Ramos 59 times during his time at Real Madrid, but it was more than enough time for him to realise the defender's quality.
"He was fantastic," Van der Vaart said.
"I mean, the defender who could play the best. He could also play 10, 6, right-back, left-back.
"So fit still, winning so many Champions Leagues."
Sneijder starred for Inter in the 2009/10 season and should have won the Ballon d'Or, according to Van der Vaart
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Sneijder starred for Inter in the 2009/10 season and should have won the Ballon d'Or, according to Van der VaartCredit: Getty
The duo also played at Real together
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The duo also played at Real togetherCredit: Getty
The 38-year-old remains without a club since he left Sevilla at the end of the 2023/24 campaign.
Midfielder: Wesley Sneijder
At his peak, Wesley Sneijder was one of the best playmakers in Europe.
Deadly from set-pieces, Sneijder also had the ability to slice defences open like a knife through hot butter with a killer pass.
In fact, Van der Vaart held his Real Madrid and Netherlands teammate in such high esteem that he felt Sneijder was robbed of a Ballon d'Or in 2010.
It was the year Sneijder played a starring role in helping Inter the treble of Serie A, Coppa Italia and the Champions League.
Sneijder also inspired the Netherlands to the final of the 2010 World Cup, as they pushed Spain to extra-time.
When asked if he believed Sneijder was deserving of football's most prestigious individual honour, Van der Vaart said: "Yeah, I think so."
"He was two-footed. He didn't know what foot he was. It doesn't matter for him."
Midfielder: Guti
Given Guti broke through during an era when Real Madrid boasted Galacticos, including Luis Figo, David Beckham and Zinedine Zidane, one could be forgiven if he slipped out of their consciousness.
But the enigmatic midfielder never left the thoughts of Van der Vaart.
Guti, who featured in 542 games across a 25-year career at Madrid from youth level to the first team, was always capable of the sublime.
One example of Guti's maverick nature that sticks out in Van der Vaart's mind was his legendary assist for Karim Benzema during Madrid's clash against Deportivo La Coruna in 2010.
The vision of Guti was something else and Van der Vaart was often left in awe
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The vision of Guti was something else and Van der Vaart was often left in aweCredit: Getty
With only the goalkeeper to beat, Guti could have easily fired home to put his side two goals up.
Instead, he back-heeled the ball straight into the path of Benzema, who slammed home.
"He was crazy," Van der Vaart said.
"Sometimes he'd turn up hungover to training. He was just enjoying life.
"I remember one press conference, he said, 'When I don't enjoy my life now, when should I do it, when I'm 70?'"
Van der Vaart added: "His quality, his vision. Sometimes he'd pass the ball to you and you'd think, 'How did you know I was there?' But he knew it."
Ronaldo posted ridiculous stats at Real Madrid and Van der Vaart's five-a-side team would score lots of goals
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Ronaldo posted ridiculous stats at Real Madrid and Van der Vaart's five-a-side team would score lots of goalsCredit: Getty
Forward: Cristiano Ronaldo
Despite Cristiano Ronaldo owning five Ballons d'Or, Van der Vaart conceded he was 'doubting' the selection of the Portuguese superstar.
"I wanted to say also Patrick Kluivert," he explained of the former Netherlands and Barcelona striker.
"But I go for Ronaldo."
Even though Van der Vaart spent only the 2009/10 season with Ronaldo, it was more than enough time for the latter to make a lasting impression.
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And his record speaks for itself as one of the greatest players to ever play. Arriving from Man United in 2009, by the time he left in 2018 he had scored 451 goals in 438 games for the club and won four Champions League trophies and two league titles.
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