mirror.co.uk

‘I'm gonna be Gooner if I mention the itchy footie pants to the grandkids again’

Political hack Kevin Maguire steps away from the day job at Parliament and reveals another side to him as Granda Kev. This week, he gets the red card from his daughter for footie own goal after being grassed up by grandkids

William Saliba of Arsenal with a cannon flag

Sunderland diehard Kevin is struggling to accept his grandkids have been brought up Arsenal fans (

Image: Offside via Getty Images)

Kevin Maguire

IT was a throwaway quip inadvertently reopening an old football wound. I’d completely forgotten even saying it to Little L during his and Canny C’s trip to Granda’s and Jo’s.

He’s an Arsenal fan. His dad, a Gooner, is to blame. Maybe his mam too when the family lives next door to the Emirates.

Dressing him in an Arsenal shirt was provocative to a Sunderland diehard. But I’m a big boy and mercifully they’ve never bought him a Newcastle United barcode top. That would cross a line.

Some moons ago, my daughter flourished a yellow card and asked me, ordered really, to stop selling the Mackems to Little L. Fair enough. I’ve abided by the agreement. But how was I supposed to respond when Little L complained his Arsenal pants were itchy?

For starters it was a surprise he was wearing badged underwear.

I innocently replied Sunderland pants aren’t itchy and thought no more of the brief exchange until a straight red from the daughter after her brood arrived the following weekend. No meaningful defence existed over breaching the anti-Arsenal-baiting rule and ban on promoting Sunderland superiority. It may be true or untrue in the merchandise department. That wasn’t the three points anyway.

Knee-jerk responses betray inner beliefs. Little L didn’t complain or shop me over the response. His gripe was Arsenal briefs still itching after returning to Highbury, Granda’s assertion a simple solution. The wake-up call for yours truly was everything uttered is innocently repeated. Everything done anarl.

Little L or Canny C spilled the beans on a small pot each of chocolate buttons while watching Toy Story. Sliced apple is the healthier film treat, I was informed.

Woody and Buzz Lightyear would appreciate unfiltered accounts and we grandparents are guardians for only a few hours, parents deciding how their kids are brought up.

That said, does anybody know if Sunderland pants are actually comfortable? With a nudge, one of my brothers and sisters might give Little L a surprise, non-itchy pair for Christmas.

Read full news in source page