On a summer’s day in August the new season began,At home to Aston Villa, on the bench was Jhon Duran,It only took four minutes, Onana with his head,
A simple goal it looked so easy and now the Villa led.
Then Soucek fouled by Matty Cash in the area, what fun,Paqueta took the penalty to make the score one-one.The second half on came the sub – Duran was his name,
You know the rest, a twist of fate, and Villa won the game.
So on we went to Selhurst Park to visit the Eagles nest,Last time we conceded five so this would be a test,Would we lose to Palace again? I’ll put your mind at rest,
Soucek and Bowen both scored, we won 2-0 you guessed.
The EFL Cup was next, two teams were evenly matched,
Bowen’s late handball goal was scored, the Cherries were dispatched.
August ended when City came, 1-0 when Haaland struck,Then Bowen crossed, Dias deflected, the Hammers were in luck.But you can guess what happened next, Haaland having fun,
Two more goals against us, and City won 3-1.
The international break came next, and then to London West,To Craven Cottage off we went to face another test,Jimenez put the hosts one up – it looked like we were done,
But Ings popped up on 95, to make the score one-one.
The London Stadium next, Chelsea came across the town,Before we blinked Jackson scored two and we were looking down,Palmer scored another, we needed General Custer,
We lost again, 3-0 it was, the performance was lacklustre.
Off to Anfield next, the EFL cup next round,We took the lead on 21, were we Wembley bound?3-1 down by half time, who was there to blame?
By the end it climbed to five to add to West Ham’s shame.
The GTech was next – Brentford then beckons,Mbuemo scored first in just 40 seconds,Soucek struck next to bring hope anew,
But a draw was all the Hammers could do.
October came next ‘twas Ipswich I hear,Antonio in one, oh how we did cheer,Delap replied to make it one-one,
We then scored three more to bring us some fun.
Next to North London, once White Hart Lane,They built a new stadium and then changed the name,Kudus scored first, then they netted four,
Then he got sent off, three Spurs on the floor.
Then Manchester United, much to our delight,When Summerville scored, a new shining light,A VAR penalty, who saw it? No-one?
Bowen converted and we won two-one.
Then on to the Forest, a header Chris Wood,Alvarez sent off – he was up to no good,Two more for Forest it was now all uphill,
And when it had ended we’d lost it three-nil
And next came the Toffees and no-one could score,The game ended goalless, a real dreary bore,The fans were cheesed off, and how they did whine,
The players were booed off at half and full time.
St James Park the venue for West Ham’s next game,We didn’t expect much, just more of the same,Soukek’s header, Wan-Bissaka’s rebound,
It came as a shock to win on their ground.
Was this a new dawn? Arsenal was next,But four goals in no time to stray from the text,Wan-Bissaka again, and Emerson’s free kick,
But we lost 5-2, were they taking the mick?
And then on to Leicester, we should have done better,He changed round the team, and left out Paqueta,31 shots, but still we were done,
Vardy scored early and we lost 3-1.
And next up come Wolves, Matchday 15 already,We need someone new to come in and steady,We’re down in fourteenth, 15 points to our name,
We should really be higher, who can we blame?
Wolves even lower, what do they lack?They face relegation, they need to bounce back,We’re both down the bottom, which one will crack?
Two bosses in trouble and facing the sack.
(They say) Fools Rush In where angels fear to tread,A new head coach came – he’s in way above his head,What next for West Ham to end all our troubles?
We’ll find out real soon and start blowing bubbles.
We all love our team but they do make us fret,With West Ham you never know quite what you’ll get,We need to get better, start playing like lions,
With the fans all behind us, come on you irons!