1. At this point, I’m running out of ways to describe the Chicago Bears’ ineptitude. Their rookie QB is on a historic run of avoiding crippling mistakes (no INTs and just two fumbles in his last seven games), and Chicago has lost every … last … one of them. I’ve been hard on Ryan Poles lately, but maybe it’s just the franchise. Cursed. I don’t know. I’m coping here.
2. You know the opposite of cursed? The Kansas City Chiefs. People can talk about the New England Patriots and their luck of the draw at the height of their powers, but I defy you to find three games in a single season where the Chiefs won on things like: a blocked chip-shot field goal, the opposing QB fumbling the snap while driving for a game-winning field goal, and doubling a game-winning field through the uprights. Sometimes, I feel like Patrick Mahomes is scared of the bill that’s going to come due for this.
3. I hate the way football talks about running backs these days. A guy can be having one of the greatest seasons a running back has ever had (see: Saquon Barkley and Ashton Jeanty), and everyone will be like, “Well, that other guy should win the prestigious award because, come on, the other dude’s a running back!” I love Josh Allen as much as the next guy, and he has a stronger case to be MVP than Travis Hunter does to win the Heisman, in my opinion. But if Saquon Barkley breaks Eric Dickerson’s record and leads that busted-ass Philadelphia Eagles passing attack to a first-round bye, crown that man.
4. Hey, Kyle Shanahan, I hear you need some running back help (what with your top 10 RBs all hurt). Have your people reach out to my people. I have a few carries left in me. Like … three.
5. On a more positive Bears note: you saw how Rome Odunze tapped his toes to lock in that first touchdown catch, right? A long way from him wandering out the back of the end zone in preseason, right? Progress!
6. I’m not ready to throw Thomas Brown to the sharks just yet, given that he was just a passing game coordinator about a month ago. It’s not his fault the Bears had to fire two hilariously inept people and put him in charge to end the season. But this is why you can’t drink the Kool-Aid too much after a small sample of success. Getting this operation to run smoothly would take a minute for everyone — even a veteran head coach.
7. I like the report about the Bears' interest in speaking with Mike Vrabel. No, he’s not an offensive-minded coach, nor has he done much to develop QBs aside from having Arthur Smith work his apparently powerful magic on Ryan Tannehill for a few years. But he’d have the Bears playing with unmistakable edge and swagger, which I don’t think they’d had much of since that first year under Matt Nagy in 2018. If he brought in a strong hire for offensive coordinator, I’d listen.
8. We’ve seen some truly majestic losses this season, but going from the euphoria of blocking a punt only to muff said punt down the field and give up a game-winning TD catch to Ja’Marr Chase moments later is truly special stuff from the Dallas Cowboys. I hope Mike McCarthy enjoyed those low Texas taxes while he could.
9. I badly need the Jacksonville Jaguars to lose out on the No. 1 overall pick despite Mac Jones being abjectly horrible at football. No particular reason: I’m just reveling in the chaos these days. Some of the INTs this man throws are pure comedy. Get ready to learn used-car salesman, buddy.
10. Please, never again use the Simpsons as a special NFL broadcast. Ralph catching a TD pass honestly would’ve made me shut the TV off immediately had I been watching. Then again, this is the NFL knowing its audience still largely consists of people who remember the sound of AOL dialing up.