What all 20 Premier League managers will want to receive for Christmas this year
Enzo Maresca and Mikel Arteta at Chelsea vs Arsenal
Enzo Maresca and Mikel Arteta will know what they need to keep up their title pursuits (
Image: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images)
The managers of all 20 Premier League clubs will be enjoying their turkey dinner this year with half an eye on their upcoming fixtures and, beyond that, the January transfer window.
Things have rarely been so congested at this stage of a Premier League season. Bournemouth in fifth and Manchester United in 13th are separated by just six points, while there's plenty to play for at the top and bottom of the table.
Liverpool sit four points clear of Chelsea at the top, with Arsenal two points further back. Two is the magic number in the relegation fight, too, with only a couple of points separating Leicester in 17th and Wolves on the other side of the dotted line.
As the 20 Premier League bosses go to bed on Christmas Eve, they'll hope Father Christmas, Pai Natal or Sinterklaas brings them something special. Here, Mirror Football takes a guess at what they might want to see under the tree.
Mikel Arteta - Arsenal
New hamstrings for Bukayo Saka
Arsenal had just about shaken off the pain of losing Martin Odegaard for two months, going on a seven-game unbeaten league run after the Norwegian's return. It's never easy, though, and now they're going to be without Bukayo Saka for a month or more.
Mikel Arteta has claimed he's working on some ideas to make up for the England star's absence. However, it would be much easier to just remove Saka's worrisome hamstring and magically replace it with a healthy one.
Unai Emery - Aston Villa
Magic eight-ball
Villa boss Emery has faced a real selection headache for much of the campaign. There's only one spot up front, with Ollie Watkins and Jhon Duran both making a case to be the main man, and choosing the wrong one can be costly in a season where every point matters.
What would you get for your team's manager? Let us know in the comments section
Jhon Duran and Ollie Watkins have regularly alternated under Unai Emery (
Image:
Getty Images)
With a magic eight-ball, Emery can take the decision paralysis away. Just ask the ball whether he should start Watkins or Duran, leaving him free to focus on equally important matters.
Andoni Iraola - Bournemouth
Video recorder
Iraola has started to show up those who rubbished his credentials as a successor to Gary O'Neil at the Vitality Stadium. Not only has the former Rayo Vallecano boss thrived after a tough start, but O'Neil has now been fired from another job, this time at Wolves.
With a brand new video-recorder, he'll be able to save up all that criticism and watch it back with a smile on his face. Who needs home videos?
Thomas Frank - Brentford
A card from Ivan Toney
It will be nice to hear from him, you know. Just to make sure he hasn't forgotten the moments they shared over the years. Surely Santa can fly it over to him from Saudi Arabia.
Ivan Toney with Thomas Frank at Brentford before the striker's Al-Ahli move (
Image:
PA)
Fabian Hurzeler - Brighton
New Gameboy
He's really young. That's the joke, that's what we're doing with this one, you can move on to the next entry now.
Enzo Maresca - Chelsea
Personal organiser
What do you get the man who has everything? Sorry, let us rephrase that. What do you get the man who has everyone?
Chelsea have more squad members than gifts in 'The 12 Days of Christrmas' and Santa's reindeer put together. Maresca must wish he had a way to organise all those names so the next time he's greeted by a fringe player like Ben Chilwell or Carney Chukwuemeka he can actually figure out who he's talking to.
Oliver Glasner - Crystal Palace
Essence of Michael Olise (bottled)
Glasnerball was all the rage towards the tail end of last season, but it's a different story this term. Adam Wharton's injury has hurt Crystal Palace, but not as much as the summer exit of Michael Olise.
Michael Olise has starred at Bayern Munich (
Image:
Getty Images)
Now at Bayern Munich, Olise has nine goals and nine assists in his first 23 games with Vincent Kompany's side. If only Glasner could bottle the Frenchman's aura and spray it in the direction of Eddie Nketiah before kick-off.
Sean Dyche - Everton
New tool set
Dyche is a simple man. He just wants something practical, something he can use around the house when he's not at Goodison Park.
Sure, there are areas where Everton can improve on the pitch, and the new owners might be able to offer some backing. However, their manager knows how to make do with what he has.
Marco Silva - Fulham
Lego model of Hale End
Not necessarily for Silva himself, but something to keep his sons Emile, Alex and Reiss occupied while he's cooking the turkey. Yes, in this reality the three former Arsenal academy kids all live under the same roof and uncle Marco pays them a Christmas Day visit.
There's a strong ex-Arsenal presence at Fulham (
Image:
Getty Images)
Kieran McKenna - Ipswich Town
Another 10 players? Sure, can't hurt
Ipswich have given themselves a fighting chance of survival after a summer transfer window during which they signed what can be generously described as "some guys". It's fair to say some have worked out better than others.
Last January, they signed Ali Al-Hamadi and the Iraq international helped them get over the line. It's small margins in the league, and - sure, maybe 10 is overkill but a couple of well-chosen signings may be the difference between 17th and 18th place.
Ruud van Nistelrooy - Leicester City
A time machine
What Ruud van Nistelrooy would give for a slightly younger Jamie Vardy up front. Or, better yet, a much younger Ruud van Nistelrooy.
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Then again, if he got a working time machine for Christmas then he might be Burnley manager rather than going back to Manchester United for a rough few months under Erik ten Hag. It's hard to say.
Arne Slot - Liverpool
New contracts for Salah, Van Dijk and Alexander-Arnold
So far, the season has been as close to perfect for Arne Slot. On the pitch, that is, but there's still the big question of which of Liverpool's out-of-contract trio will sign new terms.
Mohamed Salah, Virgil van Dijk and Trent Alexander-Arnold are all free to speak to overseas clubs in January with a view to a pre-contract agreement. For now, it still has the chance to derail things for the Reds, and what Slot would give for that distraction to disappear.
Things have been going swimmingly for Arne Slot at Liverpool (
Image:
Liverpool FC via Getty Images202)
Pep Guardiola - Manchester City
The Little Book of Calm
This one feels fairly explanatory. Guardiola can't change what has already happened this season, but he can put himself in the best possible position to turn City's season around - and for that he'll need to think rationally and calmly while remembering his squad does have the quality to bounce back.
Ruben Amorim - Manchester United
Brand new Viktor Gyokeres (still in original packaging)
Ruben Amorim hasn't had the toughest run of games at Manchester United, but he'll be under no illusions about the size of his task. Six games in the league have brought three defeats, and there's only been one clean sheet across nine matches in all competitions.
What price a Gyokeres-Amorim reunion? (
Image:
PA)
Things were a lot easier for Amorim in Lisbon. He had Viktor Gyokeres leading the line there, though, and a January reunion wih the Sporting star wouldn't go amiss.
Eddie Howe - Newcastle United
More time
After leading Newcastle into the Champions League ahead of schedule, Eddie Howe has started to feel the pinch. His team aren't in Europe at all this term, and there's a serious risk of the same happening next season.
Premier League rules have made it tough for Howe to add to his squad, while Newcastle felt forced to cash in on Yankuba Minteh and Elliot Anderson over the summer. If he isn't granted reinforcements in January, Howe will at least hope he can get until the end of the season to show he's worth sticking with.
Nuno Espirito Santo - Nottingham Forest
The watch from 'Bernard's Watch'
If anyone should be able to get what he wants at Christmas, it's the man whose surname translates as 'Holy Ghost'. And surely he'd want nothing more than to stop time with his Nottingham Forest team sat fourth in the Premier League table.
Nuno Espirito Santo couldn't have asked for much more in the first half of the season (
Image:
PA)
The most efficient means we can think of is the watch from cult children's TV show 'Bernard's Watch'. You might try to argue it's a work of fiction, but a few months ago you'd have said the same about Forest picking up 31 points from 17 games.
Ivan Juric - Southampton
Protective display case for Tyler Dibling
If Ivan Juric keeps Southampton in the Premier League this season, he'll have done a phenomenal job. The Saints are eight points from safety - for reference, the last two teams to survive after sitting bottom at Christmas had to make up four and five respectively.
Even if they pick up a few points around the festive period, Juric may feel bouncing back up next term is the more realistic task. They're likely to need Tyler Dibling for that, and it can't hurt to keep him from prying eyes until the transfer window shuts.
Ange Postecoglou - Tottenham
Nothing
That's just how they play, mate. He's not going to keep answering the same questions every week. If people can't see the obvious he's not going to point it out.
Ange Postecoglou has a lot to think about over the Christmas period (
Image:
Getty Images)
Julen Lopetegui - West Ham
A reliable striker
Look, this is more of a West Ham problem than a Julen Lopetegui problem. Sebastien Haller, Gianluca Scamacca and even Simone Zaza have all had reliable scoring seasons away from the London Stadium, but there's something in the air in Stratford.
Lopetegui hoped Niclas Fullkrug would solve the problem, but injury has restricted him to just one league start. What the manager would give for the curse to lift.
Vitor Pereira - Wolves
One of those CV-tidying services
Wolves boss Pereira suggested he had taken "bad steps" in his career when addresssing why it has taken him until the age of 56 to come to the Premier League. Considering his current job is his ninth since the start of 2015 - across seven countries and three continents - we get it.
These days, though, it's easy to pay people to make your LinkedIn page look a bit more employer-friendly. Do you really need both of those Fenerbahce spells listed? Can we lose 'six months at 1860 Munich' from that list? Not sure what it adds. You get the picture.
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