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The five people associated with Newcastle United that I would like to say thank you to

An ideal time in the heart of the festive season to get a snapshot of views from Newcastle United fans on how they think things are going.

So we sent out various questions to a small number of regular/irregular contributors to The Mag.

Asking these Newcastle United fans some of the important questions of the day.

As well as some with a seasonal twist.

Here we have Tony Mallabar giving his answers:

In your lifetime, the five people associated with Newcastle United (anybody, on or of the pitch, inside or outside the club) who you would like to say thank you to and why?

Mistletoe and Wine, it’s Christmas time, so let’s do a bit sentimentally.

Miss my three NUFC supporting mates. Big Tony, Paul Simpson (Simmo from darlo) and our leader Fairsa.

But a big thanks to naughty Norman and Chrissy numbers, who when I could only see the inside of a can of Orangeboom, came and helped me. When I was in recovery, I will never forget Chrissy numbers came and picked me up and took me to my first sober game in 30 years.

What would be a perfect Newcastle United Christmas present to unwrap?

The scrapping of PSR, AKA ‘the Newcastle rule’, would be my number one wish.

Fancy bringing in a rule that discriminates to one club, while the red cartel get to spend with impunity and with massive debts to boot.

Looking from the outside it looks like I am playing the world’s smallest violin, but after Saturday, we now see once proud and proper clubs Ipswich, Wolves, Southampton etc basically doomed to be yoyo clubs at best.

In 2024, what have been your three best Newcastle United moments?

The year started off with a trip to the dark side for probably the most sanitised derby I’ve attended. But a complete display with us totally in command from minute 1 to 90..,

I saw before this year’s 3rd round draw the mackems wanted to play us again because according to them, Cyril Regis le Bris is some kind of tactical genius (after relegating Lorient last season) and Chris Rigg and Jobe would have Bruno and Tonali in their back pockets. Ooh if only Carlsberg did irony…

Now this game went under the radar but Villa away was in my opinion our best performance of all last season, remember, Villa were flying at the time, under Unai Emery and he was going to give Eddie a masterclass in coaching.

Fabian Schar Goal Newcastle United

Highlight number three has nothing to do with me but to my mate Phil T who I go to every game home and away, who made the trip to Japan for our pre-season friendlies. Respect.

In 2024 what have been your three worst Newcastle United moments?

Bournemouth away. We got a credible 1-1 draw but that was my 5th visit to Dean Court and and along with six trips to Luton, I’ve never seen us win one game there and they call Tottenham “Spursy”…

Man City in the 6th round of the cup. Early on in the season we give them a game up the park in a five goal thriller (why does every five goal game get described as a thriller by the way?). Man City absolutely battered us and 2-0 flattered us.

Number three worst moment would be Wor Mandy leaving the club. Look, nobody knows what happened behind the scenes regarding her departure (well apart from the Saudis and Reuben brothers), but for a small window in the history of Newcastle United she was a massive positive (even if she was the double of my ex bread knife).

Once we get Christmas out of the way, the Newcastle United hierarchy have promised an update early in the New Year, regarding what their plans are for delivering a significantly bigger/better stadium. What do you hope they say? (Not just whether staying at SJP or new site but also capacity, timescale, progress they might have made on the quiet regarding their plans, whatever)

The new stadium/stay at SJP debate has been done and dusted on both sides.

My personal view, surely our new owners can put pressure on the relevant people to get Leazes Terrace moved (possibly to Beamish). Money talks, in the word’s of Stevie V…

The 2025/26 season will be the tenth since Newcastle United last had a Premier League derby match. Have you any seasonal black and white goodwill for our Mackem friends finally making it back to the top tier, from what looks the most appalling quality second tier for many years. Or even just because the amusing FA Cup stroll on Wearside last season whetted your appetite for the return of the derbies?

The next Tyne and wear Derby I want to attend is when the Heed travel to the dark side.

Who has noticed that when we play them down there it’s now the “wear/ Tyne Derby”. That’s how desperate and bitter they are.

Who can forget the near state of euphoria because of six in a row. Now I was at all those games and fair play to the mackems, you were the best team by a distance in five of those games, but to put it into perspective, if at your last derby win you were an eight year old blue Panda pop drinker, you are now 18 years and and no chance of having a celebration pint after beating your nearest and dearest anytime soon. Tip toe.

If you could guarantee five NUFC players to be fit for the rest of the season (including all those currently unavailable), who would you choose and in what order?

We all have our favourites in the black and white.

But if I could choose five players. I’d take that x5 just to see Wor Callum fit and injury free for the rest of the season.

Marc Guehi Crystal Palace Callum Wilson Newcastle

If you could invite three current Newcastle United players to yours for a social gathering at Christmas, who would you invite and why?

I think the only interaction I’ve ever had with a player, is back in 1985, I met Peter Beardsley coming out of the Lido nightclub on the Isle of Man in our pre-season tour, so it’s probably a case of I’ve never sought or looked to interact with any first team members, unlike these YouTube doylems. Although if pushed, I’d invite Tino (Asprilla), three bags for £100. IYKYK.

If you could invite three Newcastle United connected people, past or present, around to yours for a social gathering at Christmas, who would you invite and why? Thinking of fans (famous or not), past (not present) players, managers, owners, whoever.

Just one person is getting invited.

One FCB (Mike Ashley).

First question, why???

Now we’ve had the argument on here, about boycotting and the deserters, but put that to one side.

Back in 2009 I could see what direction we were heading in. So I come up with my own solution. Direct actions. I actually contacted my brief and had a meeting about what would happen if i took direct action. His answer, because it was premeditated yours truly was looking at 3-5 years (do 2+, rest out on tag). Let you fill in the rest.

I always wondered why he hated us.

A knock on your door on Christmas Day, your place beautifully Xmas decorated, roaring fire, table laden with more food and drink than anybody could eat and drink. You open the door and freezing cold, snow bleaching down, which three cold and starving Newcastle United connected characters (past or present) would you still turn away?

Dennis Wise, Lee Bowyer and whoever revoked the food license of the bloke with the minivan hot dog stall outside the East stand.

Assuming you don’t think that position has been reached already… what would it take for you to think Newcastle United needed to consider replacing Eddie Howe?

We need to just had wor horses and see what happens with Man City’s charges, because personally, I think the Saudis are just waiting on the outcome and massive changes could be afoot.

Yasir Al-Rumayyan

If you were granted three New Year’s wishes (apart from the obvious of winning something!) to come true in 2025…

Bovril being reasonably priced in the East stand.

Wor Callum gets a break from his injury nightmare.

Let away tickets be passed on like back in the day for no profit. I took ill on Friday night and missed Ipswich away, yet because I wasn’t ill enough to pass it on 72 hours before the game, my ticket got wasted, as I didn’t want to pass it on, resulting in a possible ban.

Obviously it takes a ‘little’ bit of imagination but if there was a scenario where on the last day of a Premier League season… a Sunderland victory (against whoever) would mean Newcastle United qualified for the Champions League instead of Europa League BUT also meant the Mackems won the Premier League. What would you want to happen?

At no point would I want the dark side to win.

If the scenario described ever comes around, I’d like to think we’d done enough in the previous 37 games to wish them any success.

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