How do you drive Premier League interest in a Club World Cup shorn of England’s three biggest teams? By pretending there is a new ‘so-called “Arteta rule”‘.
The ‘so-called rule’ is an assWith excitement definitely building over the absolutely worthwhile Club World Cup – FIFA might well be paying supporters to attend at this point – it will be interesting to see how the competition is covered in the media.
Will it be taken seriously or treated like the weird simultaneous pre- and post-season tournament mess it really is?
And the ultimate question: how can Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United, the three Premier League clubs with the biggest fanbases, be dragged into it despite not taking part?
The Sun has found a way. Martin Lipton breaks down the eight rule changes which will be brought in for the Club World Cup, among which is this:
‘The so-called “Arteta rule”, meaning no further punishment other than an indirect free-kick if coaches or substitutes accidentally touch the ball before it goes out of play, will also be invoked for the first time.’
That single paragraph grants the paper’s website an eye-catching headline and picture. And fair play, it really does stand out.
The only slight issue with this is that, well, ‘the so-called “Arteta rule”‘ is so called by literally not a single other person, outlet or organisation besides Martin Lipton of The Sun. Because it would obviously be mental if IFAB or FIFA brought in something affecting all managers, coaches and substitutes in the game and named it after one individual because he just so happened to be involved in a relevant incident recently.
It is strange that Lipton doesn’t pretend the change to allow players to retake a scored penalty if they accidentally hit the ball twice is called ‘the so-called “Julian Alvarez law”‘, but then that isn’t going to get clicks from Arsenal supporters preparing to be infuriated at a conspiracy singling out their manager so it isn’t strange at all.
Harv measuresMediawatch knew precisely what to expect with this headline from The Sun website, however…
‘Elliott’s hint to Slot as stylish young Lions begin Euros defence’
But the instant and inevitable de-escalation is nevertheless amusing.
By the opening paragraph, Elliott merely ‘reminded Arne Slot of his capabilities’. A couple more paragraphs in, he just ‘showed his potential suitors exactly what he is capable of’.
It feels like both his manager and any interested teams are probably entirely aware that Elliott can score from about 12 yards out, especially if left unmarked by a disorganised defence.
READ MORE: Liverpool star drops huge transfer claim as he refuses to ‘waste years’ amid disappointment at Slot call
To be FrankThe general point Tom Barclay is making in The Sun about Tottenham’s managerial switch being a considerable gamble is fair and understandable.
But saying Thomas Frank, ‘for all the wonders he worked at Brentford, has no track record of delivering major honours,’ is really quite weird.
The bloke coached an ordinary Brondby side for a couple of seasons and has been in charge of actual Brentford for nearly seven years. That spans his entire career in the dugout. Of course he has no bloody ‘track record of delivering major honours’.
I Walker loan‘Kyle Walker risks wrath of Man City and Pep Guardiola with Tottenham confession,’ shouts the Daily Mirror website after the England international said he would “probably give up one Premier League title, not the first, to have won that Europa League with Tottenham”.
Strange thing for a player who captained Manchester City literally this season to say? Maybe. But also it feels important to clarify that Manchester City and Guardiola almost certainly a) won’t be aware of what Walker has said, and b) won’t give a shiny sh*te when they find out, considering it is public knowledge that all parties want a separation this summer and not everyone reacts to things like a 13-year-old with a Twitter account.
Guardiola might be busy with the Club World Cup and wrapping his head around ‘the so-called “Arteta rule”‘ instead of reserving his ‘wrath’ for a player he probably thinks Manchester City have already sold.
Welcome MatThe idea that Matheus Cunha issued an ‘eight-word message’ upon the announcement of his Manchester United arrival is obviously preposterous and the MailOnline will have been fully aware of that.
Cunha spoke quite extensively about his dream move, having watched Manchester United games on TV growing up. Far more than eight words, certainly.
But of course, the Brazilian ‘has also taken to Instagram’ and that, buried laughably far into the story, is where the headline-worthy ‘eight-word message’ resides. And here it is, in all its glory, quoted from the MailOnline themselves:
‘It’s all about following your dreams!’
Keen mathematicians will have noticed one slight problem. Keen followers of Cunha might have spotted another, as the caption was actually ‘It’s all about you following your dreams!’. But again, those keen mathematicians might note a minor issue in that ‘eight-word message’.
Mr Lothar, LotharNot sure what our definitive favourite part of this MailOnline headline is…
‘Football legend Lothar Matthaus, 64, repeatedly pictured with new 26-year-old ‘girlfriend’ after his FIFTH divorce’
But it could be the ‘girlfriend’ in quote marks despite them quoting no-one. Or the shouty capitalisation at the end. Or maybe – and yeah it really is this – it’s the phrase ‘repeatedly pictured with’ to describe three instances of a probable couple being seen together.
The most Daily Telegraph headline of the day‘The football club that went woke is going broke’
The glee at Lewes FC, the first club to announce equal pay for their men’s and women’s teams, facing potential financial ruin is barely contained. It’s a wonder they haven’t wheeled Oliver Brown out for the celebration.
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