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Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans!
I'm tired this morning and barely able to type, so I started this morning by asking AI to take all the links I assembled and "summarize them in the style of the OBR Daily Newswire". I figured that I could copy and paste the results, introduce three or four typos and one incomprehensible word dredged up from a youth spent doing too many crosswords, and be done with it, going back to bed with no one the wiser.
Unfortunately, the result was so tepid and lacking in verve that it's clear the training of AI on the OBR Daily Newswire simply bores the seemingly omniscient neural network, resulting in it spewing back garbage in protest so it can move on to comparing moderately priced table lamps on Amazon for your indecisive aunt.
AI doesn't replace the tender care of well, love, that I daily pour into this Massive Morning Missive. In real life, crafting this nonsense daily elicits a range of emotions no computer can emulate: angst about not being able to type due to the previous night's last beer, which I didn't actually need, depression associated with the Browns' news itself, and abject fear that someone will actually try to read it.
Since my writing breaks AI and stops it from creating a suitably nonsensical lookalike, it's clear that I'm bumping into the limitations of the technology and forced to do this old-fashioned way, by hand.
But I'm grumpy about it, so be forewarned. Stupid computers.
THIS MORNING'S ROCKS AND GARBAGE: The mutual accusations and blunt object usage were in full display yesterday as the Browns and the City of Cleveland went to court to fight about the Haslam Sports Group's aim of building Jimmyworld in Brook Park.
Specifically, today's usage of the public's judicial system involved debating whether HSG had violated the "Modell Law" by negotiating with Brook Park. Apparently, there was a lot of concern about whether the battle should play out in state or federal court. Channel 19 recaps it here, along with WKYC.com.
Gavel
The power of inexplicable jargon once again is the focus (Photo: Unsplash.com)
When I started college, my ambition was to earn an engineering degree and then a law degree, so that I could, I don't know, maximize my boredom powers by combining technical with legal jargon into an unassailable torrent of sleep-inducing might. That didn't work out.
Anyway, numerous lawyers presented various boring matters to a judge yesterday, but no decision was rendered, and Jimmyworld is still going to be built regardless. I'm guessing the billionaire can hire better lawyers.
YOUR DAILY QUARTERBACK BATTLE UPDATE: There wasn't much battling yesterday, as the legal system took center stage once again. This time, it was once again Shedeur Sanders' traffic violation, surely the biggest story in human history, yielding more bodycam footage, traffic fine payment, and mea culpas from a quarterback accused of exceeding normal velocities.
As I wrote yesterday, I don't expect this to have any on-field impact, and CBS Sports agrees, which is probably a good thing because we're such close partners in Cleveland Browns coverage. Also, if you're interested in speculation about one of the Browns' four or five quarterbacks being traded, you can find it here.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!
Have a good one! GO BROWNS!
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