John Stones has admitted he feared for his career last season after a series of injury setbacks left him battling both physically and mentally to stay in the game.
The Man City defender endured a nightmare run of fitness issues, damaging a foot, thigh and hamstring, and has not featured since being forced off in City’s Champions League defeat to Real Madrid in February.
Now back in the squad for the Club World Cup, Stones says he’s determined to fight on and made clear he’s not going anywhere.
“I’m here, I want to stay here, I love it,” Stones told The Telegraph. “I’m here to help the team, and I don’t know if what’s been said or speculated, but I hope that kind of shuts it down.”
Stones, 31, is now entering the final year of his contract and has spent close to a decade at the Etihad. But last season’s setbacks led to deep introspection.
“There’s been points where you think, you’ve been giving all this effort, you dedicate all your life, especially how I approach or go about my life, and football, I give everything, on and off the pitch to be here or be ready to play games and those are the dark days,” he said.
“I think everyone’s been through them and think, ‘why is this happening?’ You wish it would have gone a different path. But, like I said, it’s self-doubt, there’s a lot of things.
“All of us have been through different upbringings and challenges through life and what did we do within those situations; was it fight or was it give up? I was a fighter from a young age. In difficult moments you have to look at the bigger picture and realise what are your morals, what you believe in, and fight to make it worthwhile.”
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The physical toll quickly became a mental one. Stones admits the uncertainty of his situation, and the lack of clear answers made recovery even harder to endure.
“I wish I had the answer and we all had the answer. It is frustrating for me, I put a lot of pressure on myself,” he said. “I find it very challenging mentally. I have had some very low points in the past season and I just have to come back and once you come over those things, you can’t really see the end of the tunnel when they keep happening.
“And it’s frustrating on the team, on myself, on the manager, that you’re not available to help them. And you’ve got to find another way to be around the team.”
He continued: “Sometimes I think: why has it happened to me? But I’ve got to deal with that and move forward and try to adapt with how my body’s adapting.”
Stones credits his family and City teammates for helping him through.
“You can feel very lonely at times when you’re training by yourself… that’s the difficult part of it, being in a team sport, not training with the team when you run out of the pitch in your rehab,” he said. “So, a lot of things that you’ve got to get used to and deal with and try and set yourself goals to come back, and it’s been a challenge. I am over that hurdle.”