The author at Amorim's pre-match press conference in San Sebastian earlier this year
The author at Amorim's pre-match press conference in San Sebastian earlier this year
A pat on the back and shout-out from Jose Mourinho, a "dig" from Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and a brief ban under Erik ten Hag are some of yours truly's experiences covering Manchester United. 'Pat, Dig and Ban' is not a catchy book title.
My ten years covering United in a dedicated capacity pale in comparison to Neil Custis of The Sun (26 not out) and The Mirror's David McDonnell (24 not out). They had the enviable privilege of regular audiences with Sir Alex Ferguson when the only devices that were visible in the room swere dictaphones. The pair of them should collaborate on a book like Woodward and Bernstein.
Six years ago, I asked Neil what his most fascinating season covering was, expecting him to say 2005-06. Roy Keane was sacked, United finished bottom of their Champions League group, Middlesbrough battered them 4-1, Ruud van Nistelrooy was exiled and rancour simmered from the Glazer family's takeover with many fans urging Ferguson to walk.
Neil said it was probably the most recent season, 2018-19. Mourinho was dismissed, Solskjaer oversaw the longest and sweetest of honeymoon periods as caretaker before discovering the perils of a permanent manager at United. They won two of their final 12 matches.
Reading Daniel Taylor's essential book on Ferguson, This Is the One, as a 20-year-old, it was apparent United are a more fascinating club when things are going awry. That epic is divided into two seasons: 2005-06 (annus horribilis) and 2006-07 (annus mirabilis). The contrasting was so great United unexpectedly ended their four-year title drought in the latter, arguably the finest of Ferguson's 13 championships.
I was intent on becoming a football journalist from the age of eight, reading The Mirror at my grandparents'. Reading Taylor's book, there was no fleeting consderation for an alternative career.
United have since become even more interesting. They are the rubbernecker's club, a car crash that elicits morbid curiosity.
Real Madrid will forever be football's biggest club, the Mecca for any great player. United are sport's most scrutinised institution, though. Having covered United-Madrid pre-season friendly matches in San Jose and Miami, there were more dedicated correspondents from England than Spain.
In 1995, the only journalist present for United's pre-season tour was from the Manchester Evening News. Last year - and almost every year - it is the MEN, The Mirror, The Sun, The Times, The Telegraph, The Guardian, The Daily Mail, the BBC, PA, ESPN and The Athletic.
Only four of us attended the post-season tour in Malaysia and Hong Kong. The trip was confirmed relatively late in March, coincided with half term and there had been plenty of arduous travelling during United's Europa League odyssey.
The Manchester pack await David de Gea in Perth, 2022
We got more than we bargained for in Asia and that week serves as a reminder that one can never underestimate the insatiable appetite for United coverage. Wherever United go, you have to follow.
Louis van Gaal was in the manager's office when this correspondent moved to Manchester. Much more senior colleagues had much more time in Van Gaal's company and it was my good fortune that trips to Carrington became more frequent after Mourinho was appointed. A contact had told me Mourinho had dossiers compiled of the established writers on the Manchester patch.
It was my misfortune that just as a rapport was developing with Mourinho he was suddenly sacked. The aforementioned shout-out was regarding team news leaks that I and another colleague often obtained. Mourinho had made reference to it on the eve of the 2018 FA Cup final six months earlier when he asked if I already knew the team.
Mourinho suggests colleagues ask the MEN's correspondent for the team in November 2018
Mourinho later told me he had no issue whatsoever with a journalist sourcing team news and that his gripe was with someone privy to the information leaking it. In December, a friend messaged to say my derby team leak caused uproar on a particular message board, as if they think a journalist should conceal that information. We're not on the club's payroll.
Given how familiar he was with the English press, Mourinho appreciated the value of press conferences. His fraught final pre-season tour in 2018 was so chaotic that club and manager were contradicting their own briefings.
When Mourinho got wind that a staff member had communicated news about Anthony Martial's future, he cryptically suggested a reporter ask them for an update on Martial during a press conference in Miami. Cue nervous laughter from the present colleague.
Mourinho did not enjoy United's 2018 tour
Solskjaer was not a natural in front of cameras and lights. Before the Covid-19 pandemic, the lighting at Carrington was intensely blinding and could turn David Dickinson pale.
On Solskjaer's first tour in Perth, we spoke with him sans cameras and lights at the team hotel. He remarked afterwards how much he enjoyed the half-hour chat and that he preferred that format. Neither we nor United's communications department ever seized on that.
The "dig" from Solskjaer was a misunderstanding over a question asked over Zoom. He misinterpreted a query five days after the 5-0 annihilation by Liverpool and still had a bee in his bonnet about it on the post-match call at Tottenham the next day. Even after United won 3-0.
Solskjaer holds court
Three days later, Solskjaer was his old self, answering my question cheerfully (Cristiano Ronaldo's added-time equaliser at Atalanta will have helped). It was the only flicker of insecurity he ever displayed.
Michael Carrick was short-and-not-so-sweet. The Zoom era did not help and he was not as engaging as he was during our interview in September 2018. That was the day after Mourinho was filmed telling Paul Pogba to "get out" at the start of a training session.
Carrington reopened post-pandemic with two months left to run on Ralf Rangnick's tenure. He made up for the lost time in our presence.
Rangnick was one of the most quotable post-Ferguson managers
Rangnick offered zingers that rivalled Mourinho. He startled staff so much they remained behind in a vain effort to contextualise his revelation that United blocked a striker signing in the winter transfer window.
The carry-on continued the next day at Brighton. Karen Shotbolt, the press officer, asked me pre-match if I would mind asking Rangnick to essentially clarify his comments. United were battered 4-0. Other questions were more pressing.
Ed Woodward once called us dedicated correspondents the "conduits". He had a point, despite his aversion to ever going on the record. At press conferences, we are often asking questions on behalf of supporters about issues that interest them and us.
How the press room at Old Trafford used to look like before its refurbishment in March 2019
It is flattering and flustering to occasionally be asked for selfies at football grounds or press conferences. Other colleagues get such requests, particularly abroad.
The people in Kuala Lumpur were as friendly as those I've encountered in Australia, the United States and Thailand. As recently as Sunday, attending Lancashire versus Kent at Blackpool Cricket Club, one of the security chaps recognised me and said how much he enjoys the MEN's United podcast. Walking past The Midland in Manchester a while ago, a chap asked, "Are you the United guy?"
The majority of interactions are similarly warm. For all the online abuse football journalists get, from personal experience the only case of an in-person insult was after I collared someone for referring to a family member in a tweet. Their inebriated friend then started venting before leaving the scene.
Amorim and Amad field questions in Hong Kong
Ten Hag was direct, concise and blunt in press conferences. Sometimes too cold. Away from it, he loosened up considerably and was always approachable.
Those of us who attended United's winter training camp in Cadiz spent two hours with Ten Hag on and off the record over lunch, a throwback to a bygone era. It was already apparent from our sit-down with Ten Hag in Melbourne that he was better value away from the cameras and he was the most amendable of the United managers yours truly has encountered.
There was a tweak to press conferences at the start of Ten Hag's tenure. Reporters would be addressed by name and have the option of asking a follow-up question. That personable strategy, brought about by the outgoing director of communications Andrew Ward, introduced some decorum and humanised journalists. The small matter of the United manager knowing your name sometimes feels like a big difference.
Ten Hag at one of his first Carrington press conferences
It was a pity that Ten Hag could not convey his breezy image in press conferences. Charisma can never be underestimated with a United manager and it helped get Ruben Amorim by as United slid down the table like a snake on a ladder.
As for the one-match press conference ban four of us received in December 2023, it was not Ten Hag who solely did the banning. That was not a particularly authoritative look for a United manager when, in Ferguson's era, the innumerable bans doled were done so at the Scot's behest.
Incredibly, United's then-director of communications, the seldom-seen Ellie Norman, attempted to suggest she jointly decided on it. It became a running joke that Ms Norman had coffee with a colleague in the Old Trafford boardroom and then did not recognise them on two future occasions.
Ratcliffe meets journalists in January 2024
Amorim is curious in that he is the opposite of Ten Hag, warm on camera but business-like off it. A couple of colleagues tried to strike up a brief conversation with him in the bowels of Goodison Park and he completely blanked them. United had performed poorly and were fortunate to draw 2-2.
On the record, Amorim is his mentor Mourinho's pupil, offering box-office lines and the odd editorial guidance. "The worst team maybe in the history of Manchester United," he said in January. "Here you go: your headline."
The quirk of United's worst season in 51 years is it was one of the calmest to cover. The managerial change came about so early it was the day after the clocks went back in October, relegation was never a palpable threat and we had become so accustomed to United defeats from the 14 in the league the previous season.
Amorim meets the press in November
2023-24 was the most fraught. It unravelled quickly, barely a month went by without a crisis and United started picking fights with the press, which did nobody any favours.
The shock factor was greater that season and, in particular, in the Solskjaer and Rangnick season, as well as David Moyes' tenure. Of all the crime scenes we have surveyed from press boxes, Brentford in August 2022 remains the most appalling.
Those last-minute winners are still adrenaline rushes. Anthony Martial in the FA Cup semi-final was topped by Amad against Liverpool at the Stretford End. Improbably, Harry Maguire trumped him against Lyon in April. They inflict the professional pain of a rewrite and we utter more profanities than Malcolm Tucker.
So I swear by a formula that saved a reporter in Camp Nou for the 1999 Champions League final. Their piece had begun by quoting Lothar Matthaus, who had paraphrased Gary Lineker: "Football is a very easy thing. It’s about 22 men chasing after the ball and, in the end, the Germans always win."
That merited a pat on the back.