And off we went again last Friday night. More football-lite from the Club World Cup and Chelsea’s game v Flamengo from a hot afternoon in Philadelphia on DAZN – they pronounce it ‘Da-Zone’ but it’s surely ‘Dazz-n’.
The South Americans have really supported their teams, so this one looked quite busy with Hartlepool’s Michael Brown and Rich Wolfenden on comms. Flamengo seemed to be taking it seriously. Chelsea were certainly there. There’s a rare sighting of the lesser-spotted Kleberson as one of the pundits. John Obi Mikel is now 38 but hasn’t aged at all.
I wonder where he stayed when he played for Middlesbrough? Yarm, probably, that famous favourite Nigerian hotpot.
I enjoyed the Brazilian side’s play but they had no decent striker. I suppose if they had, Chelsea would have already bought him. They’re fast and expansive on the transition but find hitting the target difficult. Liam Delap was galloping around in his signature style like a loose horse at the Grand National.
Flamengo finally scored after putting on a lot of pressure and then immediately got a second. The crowd went berserk. Nicolas Jackson was sent off for a rotten reckless stamp. They got and deserved a third. Chelsea fell apart and stopped even trying. Flamengo won 3-1 and were the best team I’ve seen so far. Not that it matters.
DAZN couldn’t sell any advertising so they just kept showing ads for themselves and Saudi Arabia as a tourist destination. That reflects popularity.
On Saturday the U21s played Spain brought to us on Channel 4 by Steve Bower and Joe Hart. After a dodgy start, England took a two-goal lead and looked physically stronger but less technical, which has been their identity since 1970.
A Spanish comeback seemed inevitable but never came. Spain were bullied out of it by England’s physically strong defence and powerful running, the Young Lions winning 3-1.
I’m still not convinced Lee Carsley is a worse international manager than Thomas Tuchel, the main issue is he doesn’t sell himself. But he makes good substitutions and is very reactive in-game.
Ellie Collins was pitchside with hair extensions and her contribution continued the recent trend of employing very BBC 3 ‘fun’ people. I don’t especially enjoy it but then I’m not 14. I do find myself looking forward to what Joe has to say after a big save, though. He has a natural ability to bring in personal experience to provide insight.
On Sunday afternoon, Channel 4 brought us the Denmark v France U21 quarter-final with Ellen Ellard and Glenn Murray. Neither team looked as strong as England or indeed Spain with France coming from behind to win 3-2 after being ropey for 80 minutes; Denmark should have been out of sight by then.
Cagey fare from Germany v Italy. I’ve been impressed with apparent Arsenal target Nick Woltemade, the scruffy 6′ 6″ 23-year-old Stuttgart striker who scored a hat-trick against Slovenia. When the big man/little man setup comes back into fashion, after Pep realises the great new thing is the great old thing and everyone copies him, he’ll have a big future if they play to his strengths.
Italy looked short of a goal threat but Willy Gnonto was lively. Luca Koleosho who plays for Burnley scored a good goal in the second half and Italy were very defensive afterwards but couldn’t stop a header by The Tower Of Stuttgart to concede only their second goal of the tournament. He then assisted another.
Italy got two red cards and looked undisciplined but scored with the last kick of the game from a free-kick to take it to extra-time, with Germany scoring in the final minutes to win 3-2. At times it was a bit turgid but I enjoyed this game a lot.
Throughout the two broadcasts Jules Breach sat with Joe Cole and Jermain Defoe and given they both played U21 football at the same time it was interesting to hear of their experiences playing against Pirlo in the mid-90s. They must seem ancient if you’re under 30 but in these more relaxed, less exposed and performative surroundings, they were good, showing it’s often context that is at fault, not necessarily the pundit.
During the Germany game Gazza apparently called them up. Excellent.
Did you see England v Netherlands U21? It was excellent, like watching a successful version of the national team. Unnerving. Carsley, now with a 75% win ratio across nearly four years, got everything right and Harvey Elliot was the goal scoring star. Why on earth aren’t Liverpool playing him every game?
It was all very exciting and you just felt England were going to win. They had control across the pitch, were the better side by far and passed it crisply, with confidence and inside a functioning structure notably missing from the first team.
Two consecutive finals? I hope Lee is being lined up for the big job next year. If not, what more do you have to do?
The programme was the same format with the same people as previously with the same issues, good and grating. Steve Bower was with Hart – both have been really good. Joe is one of the few who explains things that are not obvious unless you’ve played. You’d think that’d be a basic qualification but it obviously isn’t. Plus he has a really nice voice and that matters more than is often allowed for.
Ellie was all ‘OMG amazeballs’ again and it was Jules’ turn to wear the presenter’s hair extensions. Joe and Jermain sat at either end of a sofa as if staying as far away from each other as possible for fear of even accidentally touching.
So it’s Germany in the final and the Tower Of Stuttgart who they’ve lost to already. That’ll be a real challenge.
Back in America, the CWC keeps going, like misery or rain in November with Atletico Madrid v Botafogo, the latest afternoon delight from a less than a third full Rose Bowl in Pasadena, many of whom are just standing around on open behind-goal terraces.
They’re making the pundits wear DAZN badges, I note. Seems a bit insecure to force them to show facile support. Snoop Dogg is there for the Brazilian team, so that’s OK. He seems to be holding his fingers in a specific way for some reason. It must mean something.
Botafogo were the livelier and Atleti needing a 3-0 win left it too late to score enough. They will doubtless be relieved to be going home, though won’t say so.
Other games happened, goals were scored and the competition progressed, like football played in your neighbour’s back garden, you know it’s happening but you don’t really care. Chelsea complained of the 41 degree heat in Philadelphia, doubtless hoping to move to Bel Air and become Fresh Princes.
And so it goes. It’s happened. That much we can definitely say. Stay awake at the back! I wouldn’t be surprised if a South American team makes the final to confront the existential question; what’s it all for? They certainly have approached the whole thing with the most enthusiasm, perhaps inspired by the chance to stick it up some of the pompous, wealthy European clubs. Or earn a decent wedge of the prize money.
Tuesday night, Shay was with the fluorescent white teeth of Lianne Sanderson who rather splendidly looks and speaks like a real hard-knock and always seems on the edge of going proper radge.
Was anyone really interested in Benfica v Bayern Munich and Auckland City v Boca Juniors? In the studio they made out that they were. The crowd for the former was decent enough for mid-afternoon on a Tuesday, just too small for a huge stadium again. The whole of the top half was closed off. Alex Aljoe was interviewing pitchside and wore a curious, slightly disengaged expression as though listening to someone else while talking to Vincent Kompany.
The endless adverts on DAZN for DAZN feature a bloke who looks like Partick Thistle’s Brian Graham. Can’t be, though. Those two concepts seem mutually exclusive.
It was Kelly Somers’ turn to wear the hair extensions tonight. Andros Townsend was pitchside with Alex. So he wasn’t working off-tube the other night. I’m guessing this is a big thing in his burgeoning media career. The habit of making players walk out one at a time remains a waste of time and just daft. Especially if you’re the first one out and have to hang around while the others come out and it seems especially so when a Hollywood voice-over type voice gravelly announces ‘Number 85, Roberto Sanchez’ as if he’s the reincarnation of a minor deity. The players wander out slightly shame-faced. And then the countdown to kick off begins. It’s all flatulent.
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It looks too hot in North Carolina for an Irishman like Conor McNamara on comms. I’m used to him on 5 Live where he’s very voluble and passionate but he’s a bit half-powered here. It looks inhuman to run around in such heat. Humans aren’t meant to. Bayern were beaten by Benfica. It was hard to believe they were bothered. They’d already qualified, though for what was more opaque.
On Thursday it was the CWC again and Juve v UAE Manchester. A programme presented by a pish-take-free James Richardson, who didn’t have hair extensions…or indeed much hair at all.
Shay Given and Callum Wilson have got themselves a regular gig. A lot of conversation was wrung out of Rodri starting. I suppose they have to talk about something. Pep looks thoroughly bored at times.
It was just a training session really, played for much of the time at walking pace. The degree of cognitive dissonance caused by everyone talking about the game as if it’s a normal Champions League match in November is unnerving when they’re really talking about a meaningless kickabout in a quiet stadium in Orlando, despite a decent, happy if quiet crowd.
The brief downpour must’ve momentarily made it feel like home for City, who won to no-one’s surprise. And on it goes; only five weeks until the EFL starts.
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