Manchester United are suffering transfer blows all over the place, with one ‘huge’ one seemingly administered by a ruthless Arne Slot.
Manchester United blow job
The special sauce for this 2025 summer transfer window – that still has two whole, excruciating months to run – is the dealing of a ‘transfer blow’ to Manchester United. It’s the gold. The gentleman’s relish. The juice.
And they are suffering so many blows. All of the blows.
‘Transfer news LIVE: Man Utd suffer Gyokeres blow, Arsenal agree deal, Guehi to Liverpool’ – scream the Express, leaning into the rule that any transfer LIVE blog headline should always include Liverpool, Man Utd and Arsenal.
And what’s the ‘blow’ that Man Utd have ‘suffered’?
Sporting have once again reiterated their stance on selling Viktor Gyokeres…but any club hoping for a cut-price deal can think again, as president Frederico Varandas has put his foot down.
And there we were thinking that Sporting were going to give Gyokeres away for peanuts. That is a right massive sodding blow.
Now you might think that Arsenal have also suffered this ‘blow’ but the Express have already got them agreeing a ‘deal’ and that’s quite enough Arsenal for that headline, thanks.
Over at the Mirror, who never knowingly undersell any story:
Man Utd’s summer rebuild suffers huge blow as fifth star joins list of unwanted players
A ‘huge blow’, this. It turns out that PSV do NOT want Tyrell Malacia despite agreeing a £8.5m fee as part of their loan deal. Did anybody ever think that PSV would sign Malacia after three Eredivisie starts? Certainly not PSV, Man Utd or Malacia himself, but this is still a ‘huge blow’. And of course £8.5m would have made all the difference between completing a summer rebuild and not.
‘Tyrell Malacia is the latest player Manchester United are struggling to shift as their rebuild is hampered by a number of players on their books who they cannot sell,’ write the Mirror, fully three days since they last wrote that ‘Manchester United are struggling to sell Tyrell Malacia this summer as they attempt to offload a number of a stars to boost their funds’.
At some point that very real ‘struggle’ became a ‘huge blow’. And there’s no bigger blow than a ‘huge blow’. Except – and this is the absolute motherlode – the ‘Man Utd huge transfer blow’ administered by Liverpool. Insert ‘exploding head’ emoji here. Boom.
Liverpool transfer news: Arne Slot deals Man Utd huge transfer blow as two stars eyed
We love this paragraph – ‘Arne Slot’s side have been bolstered by some thrilling signings, with Florian Wirtz, Milos Kerkez and Freddie Woodman being the latest additions’ – as it gives a free signing from Preston equal billing with £100m man Wirtz, but what we mostly like about this story is that it literally does not mention Manchester United once. Not once.
It’s brazen. So brazen in fact that we almost admire it. The Daily Star have literally thrown ‘Arne Slot deals Man Utd huge transfer blow’ into the headline without a single reference to Manchester United in the copy.
We are told that ‘Liverpool have struck a deal to snap up Blackpool’s young midfielder Gabriel Schluter’ (never linked to Manchester United), that ‘Bayern Munich might set their sights on Luis Diaz or Cody Gakpo after missing out on other prospects’ (not connected to Manchester United) and that Ibrahima Konate wants ‘a change of scenery (absolutely not connected to Manchester United).
But we are never told about this ‘huge transfer blow’ dealt to Manchester United by the ruthless Arne Slot. Almost like – and this surely cannot be true – it doesn’t exist.
MORE MAN UTD COVERAGE ON F365…
👉 Man Utd ‘willing’ to activate clause ‘ASAP’ to replace ‘most concerning deteriorated’ Red Devils star
👉 Viktor Gyokeres deal ‘matter of time’ amid revealed ‘total cost’ for Arsenal, Man Utd ‘top target’
👉 Newcastle beaten again to underline place in transfer food chain behind Man Utd but ahead of Spurs
Decision time
Obviously the one place that will have no truck with Manchester United transfer blows is the Manchester Evening News, where pretty much everything is always rosy. Manchester United have actually been ‘handed ideal Viktor Gyokeres boost’ and they ‘are only two signings away from their dream XI after Bryan Mbeumo breakthrough’. Because everybody’s dream XI includes Patrick Dorgu.
But here’s the big news this Monday morning…
Manchester United make Bryan Mbeumo decision after Brentford reject second bid
Fair play. It’s time to make a decision; meet Brentford’s asking price or walk away. Take control of the situation.
Manchester United are continuing talks with Brentford after their second bid for Bryan Mbeumo was knocked back.
Decision made. And nothing can change their minds.