Could Viktor Gyokeres still join Manchester United? Could he balls. But does that stop the clicks from coming?
Manchester United do the can-can-can
Manchester United have signed a pair of teenagers who may or may not ever actually play for Manchester United. So obviously…
‘Transfer news LIVE: Man Utd complete deal as Arsenal get huge Viktor Gyokeres boost’ – Express.
‘Man United transfer news LIVE – Deal confirmed, Bryan Mbeumo latest, Dusan Vlahovic boost’ – Manchester Evening News.
Elsewhere, spot the tactic used by the Express to talk about Manchester United transfers that are highly unlikely to happen…
‘Man Utd can sign striker on ‘pay-as-you-play’ contract in emergency Ruben Amorim signing’ – July 8.
‘Man Utd can sign ‘top-class’ striker for ‘peanuts’ but they have to move fast’ – July 9.
‘Man Utd can sign £17m solution in Garnacho swap transfer as ‘second bid ready” – July 10.
Mediawatch looks forward to Manchester United completing a triple deal for Callum Wilson, Victor Osimhen and Frank Anguissa. Just because they can.
MORE ON MAN UTD FROM F365:
👉Man Utd ‘confident’ of meeting deadline as £65m signing ‘not far away’ amid one key issue
👉Chelsea decide ‘hijack plan’ in significant Man Utd blow as £45m transfer ‘likely’ to go through
👉 Man Utd transfers held up by ‘clusterf***’ of the past
‘Like a new signing’ (part the first)
We have our first spot of the ‘like a new signing’ trope of the summer of 2025, and it unsurprisingly comes from Manchester United.
‘Manchester United have a player who could be like a new signing this season’ say the Manchester Evening News of *checks notes* a player who was a bit sh*t last season.
If that’s the criteria, United could be making about 17 (like a new) signings this summer.
‘Read the room’ headline of the day
‘Man Utd ‘Braced’ for New Alejandro Garnacho Transfer Bid’ – Sports Illustrated.
Braced? They would run towards such a bid with open arms and a giddy, giddy whoop.
Let’s twist againAmid all the Manchester United nonsense, nothing is quite as nonsensical as pretending that Manchester United can still sign Viktor Gyokeres, a pretence that certain outlets are more than happy to embrace.
It began in the Manchester Evening News, of course, who claimed ‘Man United handed Viktor Gyokeres transfer ‘hope’ after huge Arsenal update’.
Obviously the only talk of ‘hope’ was from the MEN themselves, with ‘the Manchester Evening News understanding that signing a new striker remains a top priority’. No shit.
That means that ‘United could now look to make a move for the talisman following the breakdown in Arsenal’s negotiations’. They definitely could. Which at least makes a chance from can.
Taking up the baton were MEN’s sister site the Mirror, who opt for ‘Man Utd transfer news: New Viktor Gyokeres opportunity as Bryan Mbeumo deadline looms’.
‘There’s little more than a month until the Premier League returns and the transfer window is well underway. But Manchester United have yet to make a significant splash in overhauling Ruben Amorim’s squad,’ writes Scott Trotter. They have made the second most expensive transfer in the world this summer, Scott, to be fair.
But what of this ‘Gyokeres opportunity’? Well, we are told that ‘Viktor Gyokeres will reportedly look for a loan move this summer should Arsenal fail to agree a deal for him’.
Not to Manchester United, obviously, but why let that get in the way of a click-thirsty Man Utd transfer news round-up?
Especially when you can write the same old nonsense again for the Daily Star, who ramp things up with ‘Viktor Gyokeres’ late Man Utd twist as Ruben Amorim ‘confident’ of meeting deadline’.
The ‘late Man Utd twist’ is that he could join Juventus or Fenerbahce on loan. Which is not so much a twist as entirely irrelevant speculation.
Decision timeBack at the Manchester Evening News, they have asked some of their writers to nominate a free transfer striker that Manchester United could sign.
So of course the headline is ‘Next Man United transfer ‘decided’ as Ruben Amorim gets Viktor Gyokeres alternative shortlist’.
Absolutely zero shame detected.