Hugo Ekitike of Eintracht Frankfurt
Chelsea, those pesky Pensioners, have tried to sicken every man jack in the Premier League - especially us - but Newcastle United are poised to have the last glorious laugh.
Having TWICE gazumped the Mags in their persistent search for a striker Chelsea must merely sit on the sidelines and watch as United endeavour to make it third time lucky with an even greater marquee signing landing in our laps to follow the £55m capture of Anthony Elanga.
Against all the odds United, as persistent as a dog with a bone, are back on the trail of Hugo Ekitike, the 23-year-old French striker at Eintracht Frankfurt whose capture would smash the club record transfer fee at £68m-plus.
Talks have taken place both in Germany and United's current Austrian warm weather training base with the player's representatives which indicates that Ekitike is well up for it three years after he turned us down to go to PSG which for a young Frenchman was perhaps understandable.
READ MORE: [37 stunning pictures as Newcastle United stars step up pre-season in Austria](https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/gallery/37-stunning-picture-newcastle-united-32062632)
However like all good Mounties United always get their man if staying in the race becomes the order of the day - well almost always. Persistence is their middle name and if Ekitike arrives it will be to play with Isak not replace him. A win-win situation . . . though it must be stressed that Eintracht are mean negotiators and a transfer fee is not yet agreed. Another huge step is still to be taken.
However Chelsea cannot botch this one for us as they have done twice this transfer window. First they nipped in to sign Liam Delap from Ipswich and, not content with that, then nicked Joao Pedro from under our noses.
They are aggravating pests to the rest of football not just us. Newly crowned world club champions and bursting with yet more ill gotten gains totting up to £100m from their American summer, they are living proof that financial fair play is anything but fair.
Chelsea's owners are crafty gamblers ready to explore the rules to discover any loopholes not available for newcomers to European royalty like the Magpies.
This summer alone they have thumbed their nose at United (and soccer's rule makers) by buying Delap and Pedro amongst others as they have continuously signed anyone they want despite a recent UEFA fine and then shooting off to America where they clawed back £86.2m for winning the Club World Cup on top of a participation pay out of £25m.
How do Chelsea get away with it? By boxing clever thus:
1: Sell high priced assets to sister companies to generate income and offset losses, a trick not afforded Newcastle. For example they sold their women's team to parent company BlueCo for £198.7m having the previous year sold two hotels to the same company. It's the shuffle of a card sharp.
2: Blast away merrily in the transfer market and try to offset the damage by giving new players absurdly long contracts which spreads the financial load. For example, a £100m player on an eight-year contract would be accounted for as a £12.5m expense each year.
3: Fully exploit a world class academy set up before the current owners arrived by selling on home grown players at a 100 per cent profit. They did it with Lewis Hall's transfer to Newcastle but also the likes of Mason Mount, Ruben Loftus-Cheek, Billy Gilmour, Callum Hudson-Odoi, Conor Gallagher, Ian Maatsen, and Ethan Ampadu. They even cashed in twice when United signed Tino Livramento because of a sell-on clause with Southampton.
4: Be more than happy to negotiate settlements with UEFA regarding potential FFP breaches. They have recently along with Barcelona and Aston Villa been fined €31m (£27m) with a potential further €60m looming over the next four years if they fail to comply with regulations again. It still leaves them well in pocket.
5: Get an invite to the Club World Cup because of what was achieved in Europe a long while ago not recent records and then win it thanks to a team packed with scatter gun signings.
They broke the British transfer record twice in just 195 days, first with the signing of Argentine World Cup winner Enzo Fernandez from Benfica for £106m and then Moises Caicedo from Brighton for over £115m and haven't stopped splashing the cash since.
Of course it all brought much sniggering throughout football as Todd Boehly and Clearlake Capital were labelled mad and/or irresponsible but rivals aren't laughing now. Last season Chelsea qualified for the Champions League from fourth top with the youngest PL squad ever, won the European Conference League, and now the Club World Cup dismantling Euro kings PSG 3-0.
The hope of the frustrated is that like the majority of Las Vegas gamblers Chelsea will get their comeuppance, will eventually prove too clever for their own good, but we are still waiting to see signs of it. Instead right now they appear more and more to be successful opportunists.
However even chancers can't win all the time. Cannot halt every opponent in the game and if Newcastle can get the Ekitike deal over the line we'll settle for our lot. On this occasion!