Within the blink of an eye, the starry-eyed teenager who broke into Leeds United’s first team at the age of 18 had become the battle-scarred 36-year-old making his final appearance for Middlesbrough. Where had the time gone? Had it all been worth it? What would he cling to for the rest of his life?
“I think now I’ve had a moment to myself, now it’s all settled down, I’m really proud of what I achieved,” said Howson, who was the guest of honour at the Riverside in the final match before the international break as Middlesbrough’s fans finally got the chance to say a proper goodbye to their captain fantastic.
“I think everyone in life will have been written off at certain stages. When you first come through you hear you’re too weak, not strong enough etc. In other stages of your career, you’re written off. But I look at moments in my career - my debut, my first goal, playing in the Premier League, captain, new clubs… when you get a bit older you realise it’s moments like those that, for you, your family and people close to you, make that hard work worth it.
“Getting to 750 appearances, you never expect that when you start out. To go on and achieve all this, I’m hugely proud. Not just that, I’m grateful. I’m grateful for what it’s given me in my life - the moments, the memories, the life.
“In particular, and I think anyone with kids will understand this, the moments I’ve had with them in these past few years arguably top it all. Then, there’s the reaction of fans and knowing the effect you’ve had on people’s lives, it’s things like that I’m most proud of.”
READ MORE:
Howson was in a reflective mood last month when he returned to Middlesbrough’s Rockliffe Park academy to bid farewell to some of the colleagues who had played a key part in his life in his eight years as a Boro player.
Friendships, like his memories, will endure. So many good times, so many smiles and laughs, so many magical moments.
“Best times? Man Utd, Chelsea, Tottenham. Not just in my time here, but in my career as well, they’re right up there with the best moments I've had,” he said. “From a personal point of view, scoring a penalty at Old Trafford, and then going on to win the penalty shootout was a real nice moment. You're knocking out one of the biggest clubs in the country.
Jonny Howson in action against TottenhamJonny Howson in action against Tottenham (Image: Andrew Varley) “The Tottenham one, I think, same again as Man Utd, beating one of the biggest clubs in the country. But, also, I think that could potentially be the best game in my career. I've had other games that might be a bit more memorable for maybe goals I've scored, but as an actual performance, I think that could be right up there.
“And then obviously the Chelsea one that I think everyone associated with Middlesbrough, it gave us so much hope. And it’s the hope that kills you sometimes! But at least we had that, certainly for a night and a few days. It was great just to have that night at the Riverside, for what it created. You look Hayden [Hackney] scoring that winning goal, what that must mean to him being a homegrown lad, just such a special night for the football club. It all goes back to creating memories and moments. Those three are just a few of quite a lot I’ve made here.”
What about regrets? Howson always maintained that if he didn’t win promotion during his time as a Middlesbrough player, he would have failed. Does that view still stand?
“That's just how I am a little bit,” he said. “I’m a little bit black or white. And if you're going on why I came to this football club, or why I was coming to this football club, it was to gain promotion and go back to playing in the Premier League with a terrific and well-supported club. So, if you're basing it on that, I have failed.
“But I'm fine with that because I can look and think, ‘I've given everything I've got’. I probably never thought that I’d have eight goes at it. So, maybe that's a success in itself. If you’re judging it on one of the main reasons I came to the club, yeah, I failed. Or we failed. But I'm alright with that, as I said, because I gave it everything.
Jonny Howson arrives at the RiversideJonny Howson arrives at the Riverside (Image: Andrew Varley) “Also, I can look back at my time and be proud because I created other moments, other memories. Sometimes, in life, you don't get maybe what you deserve or what you want, that's just life. That's football as well. But as I say, I've got no problems with that, because look at all the stuff that I created, the people I met. Promotion and playing in the Premier League is a football thing. But I had life moments here, which is what's really important.”
This has been a bad couple of months for football’s image, or perhaps more specifically, for the image of those who make a living in the sport. Striking to push through a better move. Swapping clubs at the drop of a hat for an extra £10,000-a-week. Loyalty? Humility? Decency? Traits from a bygone era, perhaps. But tenets that Howson was always proud to live by.
“As footballer, we’re no different,” said Howson. “We've grown up in the same areas, we've gone to the same schools. I've just been very fortunate that I'm quite talented at football. Some lads just don't have that, so I'm very fortunate in that respect.
“I think I stayed grounded because I had a great upbringing, and even right now, the people I hang around with wouldn't let me get above yourself. My three best mates have been my three best mates all my life.
“Things change over the years, and you may have different motivations or different things that help keep you grounded. Going on towards the back end, you have kids, and that becomes the real motivation. I had to keep doing it day in, day out for them.
“I don’t think there’s a set reason why I am the way I am, but I’d say the biggest thing is that I look at myself as no different or no better than you. We’ve just got different roles in this world. I don’t think I ever lost that privilege or appreciation for what I was doing.”