England are really very boring so let’s talk about Florian Wirtz instead and also how Mikel Arteta is to blame.
We start with an Andre Onana joke but swiftly move on to Liverpool.
Send your thoughts to theeditor@football365.com
Onana ha ha
Man United fans are going to have resign themselves to their hapless keeper staying with them a while longer. Even if the loan agreement goes through, he’s still got to catch the flight.
David Perkins
Florian Wirtz and the Coldplay Problem
Florian Wirtz’s Liverpool start feels like déjà vu for Manchester United fans like me who remember Sebastián Verón and Shinji Kagawa at Manchester United—big reputations that fizzled under Premier League demands.
Despite 10 goals and 12 assists for Leverkusen last season, Wirtz has so far delivered no goals and a single assist in two league outings, with a muted 0.34 xG per 90. Like Verón, whose technical brilliance never fully translated, and Kagawa, who shone briefly before tactical misfit dulled his influence, Wirtz looks more like a passenger than the conductor of Slot’s midfield orchestra.
And before anyone says “give him time,” remember Kevin De Bruyne? He rocked up at City, scored on his first start, and finished his debut season with 16 goals and 15 assists despite missing two months injured. Some players don’t need bedding in — they just set the tempo from day one.
It’s a bit like Coldplay adding a flashy new guitarist whose solos tore up small venues but don’t quite blend with the band’s stadium sound. Verón had the pedigree, Kagawa had the flair, and Wirtz has the creative CV—but in each case, the timing, chemistry, and rhythm never quite clicked.
For now, Liverpool’s new headline act feels more like an awkward addition than the show-stopping star fans were promised.
Gaptoothfreak, Man. Utd., New York (Radiohead managed to keep their original lineup intact throughout their entire career for good reason)
Blaming Arteta for Liverpool domination
One person and one person alone is responsible for Liverpool’s ascendency to transfer market goliaths: Mikel Arteta.
Let me set the scene. It’s the summer of 2024, Liverpool’s legendary manager has just rejected them and decided he would rather manage no team than spend another season managing Liverpool. The directors move swiftly to bring in their own version of Erik Ten Hag and Liverpool supporters were basically dreading the season ahead. Liverpool were primed to be sent back to the Stoneage for a Man Utd esq period of under achievement.
All Arteta had to do was freshen up the attack that had clearly started to wane over the course of the previous season but the team as whole was strong. But what does he do? He decides to strengthen considerably what was already the meanest defence in the league. He spends over £100 million on a goalkeeper, a defender (who rarely played) and a midfielder (who rarely played). I know people will say Raya was an upgrade and he EVENTUALLY was but Ramsdale was a fine keeper but lacked a bit of maturity that could have been coached into him.
Liverpool were there for the taking last season if any club would’ve put them under a little bit of pressure but they basically got a free ride to the title. Arteta thought that Martinelli (deplorable form for a whole season, confidence looks shot) and Jesus (perma-crock, deplorable form also) should be a core part of the Arsenal attack for the coming season. The only new attacking recruit was Sterling, whose form has been deplorable yet again for a couple of seasons. I know people say hindsight is twenty-twenty and all that but that’s just gross negligence.
Arsenal inevitably wilted as the sticky part of the season hit and that Liverpool team was made to look more dominant and hell of a lot better than they actually were. They should’ve finished second or even third had there been a half-functioning Man City. And on the back of that kind of season, do you think they’re getting Wirtz and Isak, I don’t think so. Arteta deployed the usual Mourinho-esqe approach to management, winning through playing defensively so the manager gets all the credit, rather than winning with attacking flare and the players getting all the credit. This approach massively affected his transfer market priorities, with a raft of defence signings coming in. Defensively minded coaches are ego maniacs, simple as.
On a brighter note, here in Sweden I would say about half of the Liverpool supporters I’ve talked to aren’t actually happy with the Isak signing, as they see him as lazy and someone who could cause problems in the dressing room. There’s one thing you can say about the Swedes and that is they’re very patriotic, they follow their national players diligently. A bad egg and lazy, wouldn’t that be nice.
Also, just as a side note, why are the Saudi Pro-league paying so much on player transfers? I get why they are offering huge wages to attract the players but why are they paying over the odds for transfers? £56.6 million for Darwin Nunez ffs! No one else was paying anywhere near that for him and any club would be happy to sell players to a league that can’t possibly compete with them in European competitions. Doesn’t make sense to me. Rant over.
Seamus, Sweden
MAILBOX: Newcastle ‘mugged Liverpool blind’ and Alexander Isak ‘needs to fire his agent’
This means more nonsense
Lee, did you really just say that all fanbases treat players with no loyalty, stressing condescendingly that no club’s fanbase is an exception to this… right after saying that Liverpool fans are the only exception and should be excused. Of course “It means more” again!
On its own this would be bad enough, but it is part of a bigger picture where Liverpool fans are mysteriously all of a sudden finding their moral compasses pointing towards breaking the oppressive yolk clubs have over their players, something they had little time for only half a season ago. Hmm, I wonder what possible reason they could have for this?
My only question is this. When sat in their garage whitewashing “Traitor Trent” from their placards and painting “Free Isak” freshly over the top… was there even a hint of self-awareness showing in their eyes, or was it pure obliviousness?
Nick
Join the F365 pile-on
Dear Editor,
I’ve just finished reading Ed Ern’s mailbox entry in which a surgical ‘new one’ was torn in the F365 editorial team, and quite rightly too.
On finishing reading and moving onto the feature covering an injury update on Saliba I bumped into the line about Arsenal already being 3 points adrift of Liverpool. Like this should be a major cause of panic, after match day 3 and September just spinning up.
I, too, understand the pressure of operating a media channel in 2025. The core model of editorial is broken, we cheap bastards on the reader’s side won’t pay for anything via subscriptions and the result is a click-per-visit metric to drive income, hence the endless irritating pop-ups and pop-ins. I made these advertising annoyances vital, not F365.
But I think F365 can avoid the Custis-esque drama creation that’s seeped into football. We don’t need it. Calling out the 3 points as though they represent a near insurmountable chasm is just an example of creating a story where barely any story exists.
What works in F365 is the tone of voice, the invitation to read with intelligence and undercurrent of sarcasm and frankness one gets in a conversion with friends. What doesn’t work is amplified hyperbole (unless it’s on purpose, tongue-in-cheek, and designed to get a rise from fans, because we do all like getting a bit riled up when reading).
F365 is somewhat of a refuge away from vacuous BBC punditry, Daily Mail and their Farage take on football and the Sun/Mirror/Express’s enforced footballing Eastenders script replete with WAGs, tales of buying super cars and other plastic nonsense. Please can we keep it that way lest F365 find themselves the subject of their own MediaWatch ridicule.
Alexander
Levy = Spursy
A lot of fans will go to the ends to justify (and defend) decisions made by their club. Rose tinted glasses and all. But Tom Joe asked a great question – ‘Would neutral fans take Levy?’ I am sure by ‘neutral’ fans he meant not ones from teams that have won a lot recently.
Spurs were the ‘first movers’ on using data-driven analysis to guide transfers, thanks to Daniel Levy bringing in Damian Comolli and starting the numbers game way before everyone else caught on. Spurs signed players like Gareth Bale and hidden gems like Luka Modrić and Berbatov, who were doubted but ended up being world-class and made the club a ton of money.
But Levy decided he could do better and bailed on the data experiment, and Liverpool picked up where he left off, after acquiring ex-Spurs analysts like Ian Graham and Michael Edwards, built Europe’s most effective analytics department that brought them Premier League and Champions League glory.
So how did Spurs and Levy do in the post data analytics world? Well they really had some howlers that are almost laughable now. Players like David Bentley, Roman Pavlyuchenko, Alan Hutton, Heurelho Gomes, and even Sebastian Bassong were among the costly signings that just didn’t cut it.
In hindsight, it must be painful for Spurs fans to realise what Spurs could’ve achieved if Levy had stuck with the data analysis approach. Spurs might’ve been regular top-four contenders and potential title challengers.
And that, my friends, is prime Levy. He knew it all…until he didn’t. Spursy to a ‘t.’
Paul McDevitt
England really very boring under Tuchel
England are boring under Thomas Tuchel. England are VERY boring under Thomas Tuchel. Even more than just “it’s ok because they got the job done” boring but actually VERY boring.
Dan, London
READ: England player ratings v Andorra: Anderson and Madueke impress but CBs and Rashford struggle
…Whether England are regressing or improving under Tuchel is hard to say as, with all qualifying rounds, most games are against lower ranked teams whose primary goal is to keep the goal difference down, in the hopes of getting a play off place. Hodgson would have been proud of Andorra’s 2 lines of 5, strung across the pitch.
While I think Carsley should have been given a chance – especially with the exciting crop of youngsters that could have been integrated into this team – other than his one misstep, Carsley’s England were effective and exciting to watch. Tuchel was the pragmatic choice.
Still unsure of Tuchel’s squad selections. Perhaps he’s trying to give enough players a chance to shine in training, see if they can quickly adopt his tactics and take their chance when given a cap. With Palmer, Saka and Bellingham all missing and Foden still effectively out of form, 4 key flair players who can open up teams were missing. But he chose players like Gibbs-White and only gave him a cameo, neglected Grealish (who was great when employed as the 10 last time out for England) and the lack of invention showed.
Tuchel says he wants England to play like Premier League teams. Not quite sure what that is as they all play very differently and, lets face it, do it with the bulk of their teams not being English. If he meant, high energy, high pressing, I get it. But picking a team to do that against low block minnows…
I am sure the cognoscenti will say Tuchel is building a team to go the last mile against the better sides in the finals, an area we have come close but fallen shirt, with the new World Cup format, we will likely see the same defending in the first round groups of 3 teams. So wouldn’t have hurt to see how one or two ‘maverick’ players like Grealish, would have helped break down teams.
Watching Dan Burn misplace passes to a team mate about 2 feet away, and having yet another move break down, while listening to commentators wax on about what a great thing it is that Dan Burn is being given a chance to play, as fans are leaving Villa Park early, shows just how divorced they are the average fan. They are far too close to the players. Meanwhile imagining that Dan Burns being Tuchel’s answer to England beating a top team in the final rounds just doesn’t bear thinking.
The Premier League can’t return fast enough.
Paul McDevitt
Trying something a little different
Had the opportunity to go a Segunda Liga match (Spanish Championship this evening) and given the international break is upon I thought a little recounting of the experience might be of interest to some. It was Almeria v Racing Santander. Santander are top having won their opening 3 games while Almeria have a credible 5 points – a win and two draws, the win and one of those draws coming away from home. Some may recognise Almería as the former club of one Captain Chaos.
They sold their best player, Luis Suárez (not that one) to Sporting this summer. Their coach is the same man who got them promoted to La Liga a few years ago but who then left and came back after relegation to try to get them back up.
First 20 minutes goes incredibly well, Lopy in the centre looks classy and Baba at centre half too, although I’m informed by my Spanish pal that he’s a midfielder but there’s a lack of options in defense. Nico Malamed at 10 also looks very tidy. Almería absolutely boss the opening 20 minutes, playing some intricate football while showing good defensive organization with the full backs doing modern full back things. As a result they are 2-0 up and the “Ultras” sat in the next section of stand – complete with shirtless chaps – are creating a brilliant atmosphere.
Then after ten minutes of it getting spicy, Lopy scrapes the heel of a Santander midfielder and earns himself a harsh straight red. The Powerhorse Stadium (great name, eh?) erupts, and the atmosphere is very, very cranky. They hold out at 2-0 and still look comfy enough at halftime.
The coach brings off Nico the tidy 10, who was helping to control things, for a defensive midfielder, inviting a whole bunch of trouble and predictably everything falls asunder. Two goals within a minute of each other make it 2-2 and the ref may want to make a swift exit at full time. Almeria’s makes changes to introduce some pace. He brings on number 7, Lazaro, who goes though one on one shortly after, looks surprised to find himself in tons of space and then hits the Santander keeper so hard in the face with the ball that play is stopped. We’re still at 2-2. Then, Almería’s coach takes off Baba, the man holding the defense together and within minutes it’s 3-2.
The Ultras tell everyone to make more noise.
Lazaro looks like he’s won a raffle to play for the club and my pal informs me that his rubbishness is well known, and, that everyone hates the coach. However, being on 3 million quid a year, he’s pretty much unsackable
It finishes 3-2 and I’m told this is a standard match day experience in Almería.
Alan