Mat Kendrick at Hill Dickinson Stadium
"It's like a superstar aquarium, Dad. Do you think they can see us?" We're at Beyond, an immersive premium hospitality area deep inside the inner sanctum of Everton's spanking new gaff.
Have you seen the viral clip of Jack Grealish checking out his own reflection and running his fingers through his trademark hairstyle after inspiring the first victory at the Hill Dickinson on his stunning home debut against Brighton last month?
In the vid, Grealish does a double take, leans closer, peers more intently and realises, with a smile and a wave, that far from being a regular mirror there are actually spellbound supporters watching his every move.
Well, thanks to Circuit Hospitality, me and my son Samuel got to experience what it's like on the fan side of that mirrored glass - and, let me tell you, there's much, much more on offer than spying on Everton's newest darling fixing his locks down by the docks.
is one of the trusted names in the business and the foremost retailer of VIP packages at clubs including and Aston Villa, so I knew we were in for a treat and, despite a goalless draw, we had the time of our lives.
It was our first visit to Bramley-Moore Dock and - full disclosure - we travelled there as away fans to support Super Jack's first love and former club Aston Villa. Our train journey from the outskirts of Birmingham to Lime Street Station set the tone for the warmth and generosity we would receive from everybody associated with Everton on Saturday afternoon.
We found ourselves sitting with Tom and Hazel, a retired married couple of Evertonians who have lived in the Midlands for many years. Together, we whiled away the 90-minute trip sharing stories, including an enlightening lowdown on the brilliant work the People's Club do through their Everton in the Community outreach programme. Tom, who used to run the Redditch Everton Supporters Club, is an exiled Scouser and apparently was a dead ringer for Villa's Liverpudlian European Cup winning captain Dennis Mortimer in his day. A decent way of being offered free drinks in Brum pubs in the early 1980s, it turns out.
Like his fellow Blues, Tom waved an emotional goodbye to Goodison Park last season, but has already fallen in love with the Hill Dickinson and braced us for the intense atmosphere we could expect to experience at his beloved club's new home. Hazel, meanwhile, a former headteacher, had her own supply of football memories and was also on hand to chat politics with my son and offer some welcome career advice.
Upon arriving in Liverpool just before midday, it was a simple enough 10-minute Uber ride to get to Everton's state-of-the-art successor to Goodison several hours before kick off. A quick tour of the perimeter of the stadium made it clear that the Toffees have traded in the traditional Grand Old Lady for a very impressive younger model. From the outside, the setting, size and stature of the Hill Dickinson is truly something special to behold. Our lap of the ground helped us to locate the entrance to Beyond, on the West '' side of the ground, not far from The Originals mosaic wall featuring legends and supporters.
Once inside we received the warmest of welcomes as we were shown to our table inside the exclusive hospitality area. It was an explosion of the senses as we checked out our surroundings, the aromas of a menu that would go on to tickle our tastebuds and the gentle soundtrack from Chappell Roan to Human League and many more that added to the relaxed ambience.
It was the feast for the eyes, however, that really elevated the experience to a new level. In a subtle nod to the past, the waiting staff were decked out in traditional royal blue jerseys with white round neck collars, complete with numbers on the back, while a series of TV screens beamed out Sky Sports News, a live view of the pitch and coverage of the early kick off as Arsenal swept aside Nottingham Forest.
Dominating our attention were the constant revealing behind-the-scenes glimpses we got of the two teams preparing for the match. Beyond is situated at the fulcrum of first team activity, the matchday nerve centre, the very heart of the action. At times it felt a little surreal and voyeuristic, but it certainly made for compelling viewing.
Our dining table in the lounge gave us a cracking view of the players tunnel in close proximity to the dressing rooms, as well as the media area where , Unai Emery and a scattering of players from both sides conducted their pre and post match TV, radio and club website duties. In fact, short of becoming a member of Moyes or Emery's backroom staff, I'm not sure it's possible to get a more up-close-and-personal peek behind the scenes than the one we enjoyed on Saturday afternoon.
I agree with my lad. It did have an aquarium-like vibe with the type of lighting and glass you'd associate with a sealife centre, but it was more Spotting Beto than Finding Nemo. With our claret and blue allegiances, it was fascinating to watch the likes of Emery and Ezri Konsa being interviewed 10 yards away from where we were eating, while new signings Harvey Elliott, Jadon Sancho and Victor Lindelof were within touching distance (apart from that glass) as they strolled past us down the tunnel for their warm ups on the pristine turf.
From an Everton perspective, it was interesting to see Jordan Pickford hanging around in his sliders, supping what appeared to be a well-known energy drink. He could have kept his flip flops on all day and done away with the caffeine-boost, to be fair, given he was as much a spectator as we were against a blunt Villa attack for most of the scoreless stalemate.
By the time the two teams lined up in the tunnel ahead of kick off there was a scrum of fans with phones pressed up against the glass. The scene resembled a Hollywood premiere paparazzi pack rather than the Premier League posh seats, but when else are you going to get quite as close to your footballing heroes?
But we're getting ahead of ourselves - first it was pre-match meal time. You can't witness top flight football's most played-fixture on an empty stomach. Me and my boy are eaters (or this season). Within moments of being seated, a tasty table snack of nacho chips and guacamole were placed in front of us and our drinks soon followed. I recommend the Camden Pale Ale (based on guzzling several pints of it) and there was a choice of draught and bottled beers and ciders, wines, spirits, soft drinks and cocktails.
We opted for the generous portions of Salt & Pepper Prawns and Chicken Liver Parfait. Both proved to be ideal starters, instantly hitting the target, which is more than can be said for the wayward finishers on the pitch. Next we chose the Peri Peri Roast Chicken, half a roast chicken marinated in peri peri sauce, served with triple cooked chips and vegetable slaw. According to the menu, this is a personal favourite of James Tarkowski (I thought he'd prefer a Chicken Tarka, it's like a Chicken Tikka but a little otter).
To be honest, the massive chicken legs that arrived on our plates were meaty and substantial enough to remind me of Grealish's notoriously big calves. Fitting then that Super Jack himself should appear as we were tucking into our feasts, stopping right in front of us to enjoy a lighthearted chat with a Villa staff member - and, yes, run his hands through his gelled-back barnet.
On the other end of the hair spectrum, Simon Hooper was next to appear in our eyeline, laughing and chatting to some of the broadcast staff assembled in the media area. By the time the match was done, Evertonians would have been glad to see the back of the bald ref as his pernickety officiating left them tearing their hair out. Because of Hooper's constant interruptions Toffees fans will feel with some justification that they didn't get their just desserts, but we did (sorry!), devouring the delicious Raspberry & Jasmine Swiss Roll and S'mores Cookie. That was as sweet as it got from a Villa point of view, though.
As opposition fans in a home area, we know to respect the hosts' hospitality by keeping our allegiances on the down-low throughout the game. Like most stadiums, there's a rule prohibiting club colours and football shirts in these corporate sections. Our Brummie accents are obviously a lot closer to Grealish's dulcet tones than a Scouse twang, but we kept ourselves to ourselves as we watched our team labour to a 0-0 draw from a brilliant vantage point. That said, Villa have been so lethargic lately there was never any danger of us having anything to celebrate and, at the time of writing, we're still waiting for our first goal of the season.
Everton fans, on the other hand, kept their newfound feel-good factor rolling by generating an atmosphere every bit as passionate and partisan as our train buddy Tom had predicted. Our padded seats near the halfway line were so close to the action that we were sat just a handful of rows behind Moyes, his coaches and the Everton substitutes. When Emi Buendia's foul on Iliman Ndiaye sparked a mini melee near the touchline we couldn't just see it, we could feel it, while the boos that rang out near us were ear-splitting when Liverpool loanee Harvey Elliott came on for his Villa debut as a second-half substitute.
To be fair, the claret and blue contingent in the north corner of the ground made themselves heard too, notably serenading zero-to-hero goalkeeper Emi Martinez with his signature 'World's No. 1 chant' after brilliant saves to deny Grealish and Michael Keane started to repair a love affair damaged by his unseemly summer transfer flirting.
Thankfully, the hospitality Everton laid on for us off the field extended to the on-pitch action as Beto, Keane and others generously missed a string of chances to save us the awkward indignity of pretending to celebrate a Toffees winner as the hosts cranked up the pressure late on. Hanging on for a point made the post-match pints, Crushed Pea & Courgette Croquette and chat with charming lounge steward Aaron all the more enjoyable, while Moyes, Emery and Co faced the cameras and microphones in front of us.
Life generally and Premier League football specifically are not cheap and experiences like this are a special treat rather than a regular occurrence for most football fans. But if you want to enjoy the premium hospitality opportunities at English football's freshest, slickest new 53,000 capacity stadium then Samuel and I fully recommend it. You might even get to see a goal!
Mat and Samuel attended Everton v Aston Villa as part of a package with Circuit Hospitality. You can book with one of the trusted names in the business here.