On the agenda tomorrow: Chelsea vs Benfica, Galatasaray vs Liverpool, Kairat vs Real Madrid.
Kairat? Who?
No, that is not a typo. And no, it is not a pre-season friendly played in the backstreets of Taiwan. This is the Champions League, a competition for Europe’s elite to go toe-to-toe with one another. The best versus the best.
Well, I doubt anyone would call FC Kairat ‘the best’. But, perhaps more confusingly, they aren’t European either.
From Almaty, Kazakhstan, FC Kairat find themselves in their first UEFA Champions League, beating Celtic on penalties in the final qualifying round. Almaty, as a city, is closer to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, than it is to their Bernabeu-based opposition.
So how come they play in Europe?
Well, much like Turkey and Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan is a transcontinental country. As a result, they are able to decide between the Asian Football Federation (AFC) and UEFA for which governing body they want to be a part of. Much now to the dismay of Madrid fans, they chose UEFA.
It will be to the displeasure of many a Spaniard that it will be Los Blancos who will make the nearly 13,000 kilometre round trip to Asia and back again. The commute to Eastern Kazakhstan isn’t a well-trodden one, one would imagine. Nevertheless, no doubt a crazed posse of Galacticos fans will traverse continents in support of their club. They are the best-supported club in the world after all.
Fortunately for them, they will not suffer the same fate as Chelsea fans last year. No, this is not the first time a so-called ‘top side’ has had to travel to the Kazakhstan’s largest city. The Blues, facing Astana in the Conference League, were greeted with temperatures dipping as low -12˚C. Enzo Maresca’s men won the match 3-1, but it was far from comfortable; more so physically than anything else. Madrid will just be counting their blessings that they play in September instead of December. Temperatures are set fair and other than a bit of drizzle around, it should be perfect football weather.
And so, to focus on football for a moment rather than the obscene journey time, what can we expect from this gargantuan mismatch? Well, the bookies will no doubt be stacking the odds in favour of the 15-time champions. As they should too. The €1.4 billion value of the Real Madrid squad is worth 2.7 per cent of Kazakhstan’s GDP when it became independent in 1991. In response Kairat can only total a measly €13 million. Fifteen Real Madrid players receive more than in just a single year.
So yes, it might seem mildly improbable that we will see an upset come Tuesday night. But they also said Leicester would stop winning, that Greece could never do it, and that City would brush Wigan aside.
Alas, I may tug the heartstrings too much. But I, for one, have a morsel of hope.
Very few will remember Real Madrid vs Sheriff. Only slightly obsessive football nerds like myself likely have a vague recollection. Four years ago on Sunday, FC Sheriff Tiraspol, a small Moldovan side, they too were enjoying their debut, and only, Champions League season. A squad worth a meagre €12.5 million, arriving at the Bernabeu, they had no chance. The task was considered impossible, unachievable for such a chasm in perceived quality between the teams. But, 90 minutes of hearty defending, a goal of the season contender from Sébastien Thill, and a goalkeeping performance graced by the gods from Georgios Athanasiadis (try to pronounce that) and that gap no longer seemed relevant.
Now, I understand that what I have just described can only be read as a one-off result. A night where the stars aligned into the perfect constellation for the Moldovan minnows to achieve the unimaginable. But aren’t we due another?
A David and Goliath story enthrals spectators like no other. So, FC Kairat Almaty, who is your Sébastien Thill? Who is your Georgios Athanasiadis? Whoever they are, stand up. Write your name in the annals of European football. It’s about time Asia were there too.
Paul Edwards
Paul, often known as Eddie, is the cricket editor for the Sports Gazette, as well as a keen football enjoyer. As a sports freak, he can often be found ranting about how his lookalike, Lewis Hall, should be in the England squad or how Rehan Ahmed is criminally overrated. Paul publishes his projects onto Substack (@pauledwards123) as well as writing for Hampton and Richmond Borough FC. His passion for sport is palpable and he is excited for the opportunity to write about the ups and downs of high level sport. Contact him via pauledwards21072004@gmail.com.
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