Every college basketball star dreams of playing in the NBA. For several years, I thought: ‘Why am I not there?’
I was a two-time All-Pac-12 Conference honoree with the Colorado Buffaloes, a 6-foot-10 power forward who declared for the NBA Draft in 2016. I played summer league for the Denver Nuggets and Portland Trailblazers.
But instead, my pro journey took me to Macedonia in southeast Europe, and soon after to Japan. I’ve been playing here in the B.League for the last eight years.
It’s funny, because I’ve created relationships that I couldn’t now imagine not having — foreign friends, Japanese friends, teammates, they’ve all become family to me. At the time, you want what you want, but when I look back, it’s as if there’s some reason to the madness.
I’ve enjoyed considerable success on the court. But earlier this year, I found myself back in the U.S. without a team to play for. I decided there was something I needed to address, so that I could move forward again.
I published a coming-out post on my Instagram account. “Today, I am living openly and unapologetically as a Bisexual man. God made me exactly as I am, and I am proud of who I am,” I wrote.
Related
By this time, I had already come out to several friends and family members, and had been met with a lot of love.
The first teammate I told was part of the team I won a championship with. To have somebody see you and love you for exactly who you are was intoxicating, to the point where I just wanted more.
Publicly, you could say I had a secret, but privately, I felt I had been taking those steps to tell the people who I’m close to.
In my Instagram post, I explained how basketball has been “my entire world for as long as I can remember” and also mentioned challenges I had faced within my sport, some of which had caused me “pain and darkness.”
But I was determined to play. Coming out publicly was about me saying how I want to live the rest of my life. I want to be able to love, be loved, and find love.
I signed off the post with optimism, saying: “I’m just getting started.”
‘Focusing on basketball made me block out thoughts of dating’
I had a conservative upbringing in Colorado. When I got to college, I started to understand more about my sexuality and became aware that what I was feeling was different to the other guys.
Part of me was very scared. Would it affect my NBA career? It really messed with me. I was the face of CU at the time, with all the pressures that brought. I just wanted to represent my team and my state.
There were times when I felt, man, maybe I’m going to hell, because of how I was brought up and my belief system. I did what I was always taught to do, which was work hard and focus on basketball, rather than on the person.
Josh Scott in action for Colorado Buffaloes against Connecticut Huskies in the first round of the 2016 NCAA Tournament. | Jeffrey Becker-USA TODAY Sports
It wasn’t until I reached my mid-20s that I had a change of direction.
In 2019, during my second season in Japan, I suffered a serious knee injury, at a time when I’d been playing really well. I ended up coming home to decide if I needed surgery.
Then came the tragic news that the sister of one of my former college teammates had taken her own life. Her name was Alana Chen, and her story became well-known due to the conversion therapy she had endured since the age of 14. There is now a Foundation in her name providing vital support and mental health care for LGBTQ people like Alana.
After attending her funeral, and unsure about my own future due to the injury, I had a realization. It was time for me to figure out who I was and not just throw it all on basketball. I’m thankful for the sport, but it was a place I went to so that I didn’t have to focus on dating or any of that stuff.
I started having therapy, which helped me find affirmation and comfort in my skin. But it’s hard figuring out how to grow when you’re a public figure, such as a pro basketball player.
Even though I got more comfortable with myself, I felt that silence and just plugging away, continuing to be the hard worker, was the answer.
‘Living in your truth should be the aim for all LGBTQ athletes’
I recovered from injury and returned to Japan, leading a team to the championship in 2022, and going on to become a three-time All-Star in the B.League.
But off the court, I was dealing with a lot. I ran into some bad apples in the locker room. There were a lot of false narratives, and I was worried something would leak out and put a public eye on the situation. I didn’t know if I was ready for that at the time.
Now I’m in a much better place, and the positive reactions to my Instagram post from earlier in the year felt really special to me. My college coaches, in particular, were wonderful, and I’ve also connected with Rocky Mountain Equality, an LGBTQ non-profit in my home state that’s doing important work with young people.
Meanwhile, I’ve signed for a new team — Tryhoop Okayama, in the west of Japan — and it’s been going well. Away from basketball, I’m currently single, and I feel like a 19-year-old again!
I feel empowered in a lot of different ways, but mostly just comfortable with who I am. I didn’t understand how much stress was on me before.
I’m getting involved in some advocacy work here too, with an organization called Nijiiro Diversity. The situation is different here with regard to LGBTQ rights and protections, and there are very few out athletes, but Japanese people are, for the most part, very respectful.
It’s cool to be writing this for Outsports. I’ve read the website for years, seeing other athletes come out and following the news while being under the radar myself. Now I get to officially be present in that group.
I think there’d be more people open if there wasn’t just this cookie-cutter understanding of what bisexual means, or what queer means. There are different ways to be.
Josh Scott
Getting to this place has been a heavy journey at times, and of course, there are very few male pro basketball players who are out publicly, even though there will be others who are gay or bi.
Some will feel anxious, like I did, or maybe they’ve experienced similar challenges. But in my opinion, the only way to combat this is to start living in your truth.
Whatever the timing and what that looks like is up to the person. All I can say is that I’ve been met with high levels of love and community.
Yes, there are some bad people within sports, that’s just part of any situation. But there’s much more beauty, and I’ve experienced that with so many of my basketball friends. They’re just like, ‘hey, we love you for you… let’s move… what do you need?’ They’ve been so great.
Maybe you’ve been thinking about coming out publicly, in an Instagram post or an article like this. It’s scary. I almost threw up when I did it! But when you’re in that fear, just understand there’s love on the other side.
I’m 32 years old now, and sometimes I think, ‘we could have moved this all ahead a little quicker!’ But that’s part of why I say there’s some reason to the madness.
I’m finally at a place where I can find the future, and I’m really excited about that.
Josh Scott came out publicly in order to live “openly and unapologetically”. | Dana Martin Creative
Josh Smith is a professional basketball player with Tryhoop Okayama in Japan’s B.League. He was the Colorado Gatorade Player of the Year and named “Mr. Colorado Basketball” in 2012, before becoming a two-time All-Pac-12 Conference honoree with the Colorado Buffaloes. He can be found on Instagram at@joshua_scott40.
If you are out as LGBTQ in sports and want to share your story, write us at [email protected].
Subscribe to the Outsports newsletter to keep up with your favorite out athletes, inspiring LGBTQ sports stories, and more.