CLEVELAND, OHIO (TheOBR.com) - Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans! Time to jump through several topics as the Browns mediasphere shifts from Steelers debacle reaction to a focus on the upcoming critical tilt against the Miami Dolphins.
THE DAILY BLOVIATION
THE BURNING PLATFORM: Back when I was a systems consultant, one of the handy catchphrases we would use amidst our dull babble was the concept of a "burning platform". That usually meant a system built on technology that would soon be obsolete or unsupported, meaning our clients needed to immediately pursue expensive projects (with high consulting fees) to move a critical business function to new technology. In other words, you had better convert to Microsoft Version Whatever before they pull support, do it now, and here's my bill.
The Browns have a burning platform, and it's the offensive line, which is currently rated 32nd in the NFL by Pro Football Focus. Even more alarming about PFF's rankings is that they consider Joel Bitonio, the left guard who contemplated retirement this past offseason, to be the best of the starting bunch. Assuming Bitonio exits after the team finishes its so-far lackluster 2025 campaign, it accelerates the need to replace virtually the entire starting line, potentially.
As with my poor, unfortunate consulting victims, the team bears a large share of the blame for putting themselves in this position. While Andrew Berry's 2025 draft is already considered very, very good, selecting two running backs and two quarterbacks with limited picks seems like a sort of a luxury considering the smoke emanating from the offensive line. This is debatable, which is fine, because I'm merely a writer who pays virtually zero price when I'm (frequently) wrong about football topics. For an NFL GM, though, it opens them up to criticism, as the team will have to invest considerable assets in draft picks and the salary cap to solve the problem in the 2026 offseason.
I wonder if I could sell some consulting services to the Browns? They appear to be undergoing a paradigm shift in their integrated business processes, which warrants a 35-minute PowerPoint presentation. I'll get right on that. It worked for Kyle Shanahan.
Boring presentation
This is basically how I spent the 1990s (Photo: Unsplash.com)
THE TRADE BUZZ: There are a bunch of articles this morning, such as this one from The Athletic ($) and this one from the OBR (free), about potential trade deals that the Browns might consider. This is a good move for the journalism profession as it exists in 2025, as it will undoubtedly draw a lot of attention. It's almost as rewarding as writing treatises about potential new head coaches when there's absolutely no sign that the current one will be replaced, something we would never lower ourselves to at the OBR.
The Athletic article focuses on RB Jerome Ford, TE David Njoku, and EDGE Alex Wright as potential trade targets for teams that consider themselves as needing a little extra help to get ready for the playoffs. Jack's OBR article takes the opposite approach, evaluating where the Browns might be as buyers for talent if they decide to invest future assets in pulling themselves out of the swampy morass they currently find themselves in. Either way, journalists need to stay frosty for trade-oriented press releases at the most inconvenient times imaginable as the Browns look to the future.
IT AIN'T EASY BEING A LEFTY: The world has a sinister bias against left-handers, which starts with the origin of the word "sinister" as meaning left-oriented. Speaking as one, I am convinced that my brain functions differently from that of normal (i.e., right-handed) people in a particularly annoying way. I say this based on direct feedback that I get (mostly from my wife) about my brain and its functioning.
Still, somehow, famous folks like Leonardo Da Vinci, Napoleon, Alexander the Great, and Albert Einstein were all lefties, an impressive list which I'm sure I'll join once a digital archivist in the year 2304 discovers the treasure trove of Cleveland Browns-related bloviations I'm leaving behind.
The bias against left-handers is particularly acute in two specific areas. The first is in elementary school, where all the desks and scissors are designed in a way that is most accommodating for right-handers. Don't even get me started on the trauma suffered by a left-handed four-year-old Barry trying to navigate his way around cutting paper without specific left-handed scissors. The second, it appears, is in the NFL, where left-handed quarterbacks are decidedly rare but, as in the case of the infamous Paul McDonald, also unheralded. There are three starting right now (10%), and two of them (Dillon Gabriel and Tua Tagovailoa) will face each other this Sunday, marking the first time in 19 years that two left-handers have squared off. Michael Penix of the Falcons is the third starting QB who happens to be a left-hander.
I'm not sure why there aren't more left-handers starting at quarterback in the NFL. Perhaps it's because the reversed spin on the football makes it harder to catch for receivers used to right-handed spin. A sign of this bias is the attention given to the left-tackle position in the NFL, a spot that protects the blind side for right-handed quarterbacks. Right tackle is considered of lesser importance because it just protects left-handers who, by their very nature, are considered more expendable. We left-handers are just pawns in this game of life. Whereas left tackles face elite pass rushers and require premium ability and technique, right tackles simply are bouncers at the back door, with another mere left-hander tossed on the scrap pile if they don't do their jobs.
Or perhaps the cause runs deeper, and left-handed people are less coordinated (I would be an example of 1A) or more inclined towards pursuits that suit their reversed brains. I was always told growing up that left-handed people tend to be more creative and less logical, and therefore more likely to be involved in the creative realm than those requiring logic. This might explain why I abandoned a lucrative and safe engineering path to write bloviations each morning, a market so bereft of demand that the only way I could do it was to employ myself to force site visitors to endure it. Still, there's something to be said for being creative as an NFL quarterback.
In any event, gird your loins on Sunday for balls rotating backwards and great days for edge rushers who typically are considered the least-threatening of those on the line. Hopefully, no lefties are harmed during the event. We're already small enough in number.
Have a good one! GO BROWNS!
Newswire Bloviation Archive
CLEVELAND BROWNS STUFF FROM THE OBR
CLEVELAND BROWNS VIDEOS
Inside The Browns Beat ft. Ashley Bastock! - (youtube.com)
The Garage Beers Podcast - Episode 285 - Ft. Tim Alcorn!! - (youtube.com)
Browns 3D-Browns NEED to right the ship against the Dolphins - (youtube.com)
CLEVELAND BROWNS ARTICLES
Cleveland Browns Film Room Struggles in the Run Game - Sam
Cleveland Browns News and Rumors 10/15: Who Would Be Next? - Barry
Browns Practice Report: Key Blockers on Offense Start Week not Practicing as Running Game Gets Focus - Fred
Cleveland Browns Potential Trade Deadline Targets - Jack
CLEVELAND BROWNS MESSAGE BOARD POSTS
ASK THE INSIDERS (VIP)
So, what happened to David Bell...
Zinter LT?
Quick Turn
Watson
Olave
We trade incoming?
Callahan
Timing plays
Paul DePodesta
WR Potential
Thayer Munford
Is Jedrick Willis still a free agent? cost?
Cleveland job being a attractive opening?
Watson follow up re: potential HCs
Scheme Question
THE WATERCOOLER
OT: Share your favorite MEMEs
Zack Zinter
Tickets For Sunday-edit sold but:
There is an awful lot of excitement
LiveWire Thread for 1015 - Twitter, Video, Articles
2026 NFL mock draft: Reids predictions on first-round picks
THE LIFT
Positive news from the world of sports and beyond...
The "intoxication thesis": The evolutionary benefits of getting drunk - (bigthink.com)
Biologists and anthropologists likely wonder why people do things like get drunk, and how that ties into evolution. After all, a drunk caveman is more likely to stumble off a cliff or have slow reaction times when faced with a saber-toothed tiger compared to one that's sober. It doesn't seem like the kind of behavior that would be rewarded within the gene pool.
The article from Big Think above speculates that drinking is a "social enablement" behavior fostering trust, creativity, and social cohesion. Its role in helping to forget the fact that you follow a horrible football team that hasn't won a championship in sixty years is not explored, although someone could probably write a killer Master's thesis on the subject. To summarize, yay booze, thanks for being there.
WRAPPING UP
When not reading news articles about the Browns while eyeing the bourbon bottle, Barry McBride is the Publisher and Founder of the OBR and bloviates this nonsense every morning. You can follow him on Twitter @barrymcbride or write him at barry@theobr.com if you are so compelled.
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