A lot has happened since 2019. The Event Horizon Telescope collaboration released the first-ever image of a black hole, NASA astronauts Christina Koch and Jessica Meir conducted the first all-female spacewalk, Rudy Gobert literally single-handedly (both hands actually) shut down the 2020 NBA season, the world subsequently entered into quarantine, and _Andor_ became the best Star Wars spinoff since _The Mandalorian_, which in turn was the best piece of Star Wars intellectual property since _The Empire Strikes Back_.
2019 was also the last time our San Antonio Spurs won an opening night game. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long since the good guys tasted victory in their season debut. Victor Wembanyama river-walked his way to an overpowering 40-point, 15-rebound double-double. Reigning rookie of the year Stephon Castle poured in 22 points on an efficient 8 - 12 shooting while also clamping down on defense on the other end.
After a summer spent with Shaolin monks and Kevin Garnett (a perfect paradigm of yin and yang), Victor Wembanyama showed off a perfect blend of patient, zenlike shot selection and unbridled, rabid aggression at the rim. To seek out Shaolin monks is to invite serene nirvana; to seek out Kevin Garnett is to invite energy drink levels of chaos. There are two wolves inside all of us: Kevin Garnett is probably head-butting the other one.
WELCOME TO THE NBA, DYLAN HARPER! Stay awhile and put on some John Tesh—for the vibes. _Buh buh buhbuhbuhbuh buh buh buhbuhbuhbuhbuuuuh buh-buh-buh-buh buhbaaaa_
Stephon Castle out here barrelling through traffic like a portly squirrel barrelling through my wife’s vegetable garden. For an idea of how much the front office values Castle, there were so many rumors last season of teams reaching out to the Spurs to see if they were interested in trading their prized rookie point guard. Rumor also has it Brian Wright laughed so hard before hanging up that he inadvertently three-way butt dialed the Lakers’ GM and the Mavericks’ GM—and the rest is, well, history. I completely made up that story, so feel free to quote me.
It’s only opening night, and Victor Wembanyama is already pulling out the George Bluth “NO TOUCHING” move on the refs.
Stephon Castle certainly has a bright future, but it’s worth mentioning what one year of playing behind Chris Paul can do. Here, the young point guard channeled his inner point god, dishing a discount double check to Devin Vassell. Number 5 had his fingerprints all over this game, dishing out 6 assists, grabbing 7 rebounds, and adding 2 steals for good measure. While his exceptional rookie year highlighted his pro-ready, mature game, Castle will look to take the next step and become an All-Star level player as the Spurs’ floor general.
By the time defenders are wondering if this 7-foot leviathan is going to cross them up, step past them, leap over them, or sing K-Pop Demon Hunters songs, Wembanyama is taking a step-back three. Swoosh. Oh, he’s done hidin’, now he’s shining.
Castle’s steal and score represented 1 of 10 steals the Spurs had for the night. Their still very early playoff hopes will ultimately rest on how well the players on the floor gel defensively. If Wednesday night was any indication, the Silver and Black’s defense will be a formidable force embodied by a sea of flailing arms and young legs wearing down their opponents.
Area 51? Sure. It’s catchy. But maaaybe if Wembanyama wore red shoes (although I do like these hazard orange, Phoenix Suns era Boris Diaw lookalike kicks), we can workshop “Big Red and Barbacoa”? I do not endorse Big Red and barbacoa, however. Just give me barbacoa. I don’t particularly have a taste for something that is described to have “a unique orange and lemon-oil flavor”—THEN WHY IS IT CALLED BIG RED?!
Sending everyone out on an absolute high note with this crowd-pleasing, rim-rocking reverse jam by Victor Wembanyama. We’re so back.
If you missed the game because you were too busy ranking Jedi (hint: Obi-Wan Kenobi is both top three and bottom 50—like how do you lose to long-in-the-tooth Count Dooku TWICE), here are the full-game highlights:
Next up, the Spurs head to New Orleans to take on the Pelicans on Friday, October 24, 2025.
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