CLEVELAND, OHIO (TheOBR.com) - Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans! Sometimes it doesn't matter how much coffee I pour down my throat in the early morning. No matter how high the caffeine level or how upbeat and loud the music (Jane's Addiction, at the moment) in my ears, my brain refuses to wake up.
That's perhaps why I've deluded myself into thinking that the 2-5 Cleveland Browns can march into 5-2 New England's home stadium and come away with a win.
THE DAILY BLOVIATION
Here are handful of reasons why I'm convincing myself that the Browns have a chance against the Patriots, despite their history (Ravens, Lions, Steelers) of totally collapsing when faced with decent teams on the road.
THE PATS HAVEN'T BEATEN A DEFENSE LIKE CLEVELAND'S: The Browns possess the defense that has given up the fewest average yards per game (256). Now, granted, part of the reason for this is that the team's offense is so ineffective that opponents can play it safe and not throw the ball over the field, racking up more yardage, but there's no denying that the Browns' defense has been very effective all year.
Of the opponents that the Patriots have beaten, only Carolina has anything approaching a top-tier defense. Two of the defenses they've beaten (Dolphins, Titans) are objectively horrible. That's not to take away from Drake Maye's fantastic start, but Cleveland will present a challenge they haven't faced before.
YOUNG QUARTERBACKS ARE INCONSISTENT: If there's one thing I've learned about young players in my years following the Browns' constant reboots, it's that they can be maddeningly inconsistent. Pete refers to the growth of young players as nonlinear: they tend to take significant steps forward at unpredictable times. They can also take steps back when you least expect it. So, perhaps, my brain tells me, Drake Maye will regress to the mean during Sunday's game, or Dillon Gabriel will take a step forward. Hey, it could happen. Both on Sunday.
Mike Vrabel
Mike Vrabel looking all "head coachy". (Photo: Getty)
MYLES GARRETT IS LINING UP AGAINST A ROOKIE: Will Campbell is a highly touted rookie, picked fourth in the draft, but still a rookie. Campbell hasn't gotten off to a horrendous start, but he's allowed pressures on over 10% of his pass blocking snaps, and faces a player who is among the top players in the league in quick pressures and will be lined up over him most of the time. Maye is going to have to keep an eye on Garrett the whole game.
UNSTOPPABLE FORCES ARE GREATER THAN SOMEWHAT MOVEABLE OBJECTS: Probably the most interesting matchup on Sunday will come between Quinshon Judkins and the Browns' offensive line against the Patriots' rush defense. A lot has been made out of the fact that the Patriots haven't allowed a runner to exceed 50 yards in a game all year. This means the Patriots are nearing a record, and I think their streak is due to be broken with Dillon Gabriel starting to find himself and mixing up the passing game a bit. I have no reasonable reason to justify my faith in Judkins and the Browns line beyond their past efforts (let's take the Steelers as an outlier), it just strikes me that the Patriots likely haven't made this giant leap in year in rush defense, and they're due to have their string broken.
WE'RE FAMOUS, THEY'RE NOT: The Browns have a new TV series being filmed in town, featuring Law and Order's Christopher Meloni as the Cleveland Browns head coach and Mandy Moore as his love interest, I guess, or whatever, and Fargo's William H. Macy as the team's owner. This is not based on an actual story. The series will appear on Hulu, where I will not watch it because the likelihood of aliens, lasers, and big explosions occurring is small.
Do the Patriots have a Hulu series being filmed at their facilities? I think not. Famous players and teams always get breaks from the refs. The Browns will get the calls on Sunday. I'm sure of it. Christopher Meloni, y'all. More importantly, we will not have to stomach an appearance of Mark Wahlburg, hopefully. Please let that be.
THE PATRIOTS OFFENSE DOESN'T KNOW TO EXPECT Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz threw a lot of different tendencies at the Miami Dolphins, catching Mike McDaniel's team off guard. They played a lot of zone looks, coming out in the scheme far more than ever before. They ran unexpected blitzes and simulated blitzes that helped to force four turnovers. If I were the Dolphins, I'd be forced to prepare for a team that could favor the zone as much as man coverage and could come out with anything against the Patriots. Josh McDaniels has proven his worth as a coordinator, but Schwartz made his job a lot harder by what the Browns did last Sunday.
IN SUMMARY: The Browns are going to play unexpectedly well against the Patriots on Sunday, perhaps even pulling off the upset. You heard it here first. If I'm wrong, I'll point to my introduction and claim my brain was addled because of caffeine resistance. Yes. They will win.
At least I'm being optimistic for once, right?
Have a good one! GO BROWNS!
Newswire Bloviation Archive
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THE LIFT
Positive news from the world of sports and beyond...
Super-Earth less than 20 light-years away is an exciting lead in the search for life - (space.com)
Complex, intelligent life increasingly seems very rare based on our current learnings. Earth-like life, at least. It's like every extrasolar planet we've discovered is broken for life, somehow. That's why it's so exciting to find a candidate planet so close by. Now, all we need is for warp speed to be invented so we can go there and check things out. Hurry up, Zefram Cochrane. We're waiting.
WRAPPING UP
When not stimulating his brain with caffeine to no effect, Barry McBride is the Publisher and Founder of the OBR and bloviates this nonsense every morning. You can follow him on Twitter @barrymcbride or write him at barry@theobr.com if you are so compelled.
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