Harry Kane is breaking records with every goal he's scoring - but his 'disgusting' numbers don't even describe how good he has been.
The England captain astonishingly netted his 20th goal in just 12 games for Bayern Munich in a 4-0 win over Club Brugge this week.
Kane has been in inspired form for Bayern at the start of the campaign
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Kane has been in inspired form for Bayern at the start of the campaign
In doing so, Kane has beaten Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi's personal record of scoring 20 goals at the start of a season.
The 32-year-old brought up a century of goals for Bayern last month - reaching triple digits quicker than any player has done for a club residing in one of Europe's top-five leagues.
He also recently notched in his 400th career club goal in last Saturday’s Der Klassiker win over rivals Borussia Dortmund.
If the former Tottenham Hotspur striker continues scoring at his current rate, he will break into Bayern's top ten all-time goalscorers list in just his third campaign at the Allianz Arena.
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Having found the back of the net on 12 occasions already after seven league matches, Kane is also on course to break the Bundesliga record for most goals in a single season.
Such figures make it all the more laughable that Kane found himself ranked in lowly 13th place in the Ballon d'Or five weeks ago.
European football broadcaster Andy Brassell claimed on Hawksbee & Baker that his numbers will excite England for the World Cup.
Charlie Baker asked on talkSPORT: “You're a seasoned Ballon d'Or watcher, Andy. Harry Kane, is it coming too late in his career for that.
“Is he a sexy enough footballer for it?”
“Look, if he wins the Champions League, all bets are off,” Brassell responded. “That's what I'm saying.”
The Bundesliga's top and bottom teams will clash this weekend
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The Bundesliga's top and bottom teams will clash this weekendCredit: AFP
“He's got to 400 club goals in the last week, and I'm going to ban people talking about Harry Kane because the numbers are disgusting, they're X-rated.
“Also, they don't really describe how good Harry Kane has been for Bayern. On and off the field, he's been fantastic.
“And you know what? If he turns up to the World Cup in this sort of form next summer, fit and in form, it's great news for England.”
Hawskbee added: “As 50-year-old Jamie Cureton was described by his new club, Kings Park Rangers, he's a man who absolutely stinks of goals.”
Brassell's Kane comparison was slightly different, having instead likened the Three Lions skipper to a 2015 version ofMessi.
England's all-time top scorer also broke a 36-year Three Lions record during the October international break.
‘Like 2015 Lionel Messi’ - Harry Kane told he’s got years at the top of football if he makes career change
Unstoppable Kane vs Borussia Mönchengladbach
The defining image for England fans from Der Klassiker was Kane wrapping a consoling arm around Jobe Bellingham following the latter's mistake that led to Michael Olise's goal.
However, it won't just be one opposition player in need of a cuddle when Bayern travel to Borussia Mönchengladbach on Saturday.
“He's going to need an Inspector Gadget arm, isn't he?” Brassell joked exclusively to talkSPORT.com.
Die Fohlen have endured their worst start to a season in the club's history at this point in the season and are bottom of the table.
Kane publicly defended Jobe following Der Klassiker
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Kane publicly defended Jobe following Der KlassikerCredit: Getty
Borussia Mönchengladbach in crisis
Following a 3-1 defeat to Union Berlin, they are now winless in the Bundesliga since March.
Mönchengladbach are still searching for a permanent manager following the dismissal of Gerardo Seoane on September 15, with Eugen Polanski serving as an interim boss.
Brassell continued: “It's really sad what's happening to Borussia Mönchengladbach. Of course, they're bottom of the table, they're winless, only a couple of points all season.
“They're one of the monuments of German football, so it's a real shame.”
“You're going to learn nothing from Bayern, because Bayern are going to go there and panel them, you would think.
Gladbach have just three points after seven Bundesliga matchdays
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Gladbach have just three points after seven Bundesliga matchdaysCredit: Getty
“It's very difficult to see how they're going to take anything from that game. The ones that count are the ones after.
“They're playing Karlsruher in the DFB-Pokal, who are from the second tier. And then they've got league games against St. Pauli, who are struggling a little bit at the moment, and then the derby against Köln, which is absolutely massive.
“So the current thinking seems to be that [new sporting director Rouven] Schröder's going to see how Polanski gets on with those and then make a decision.
“But that, to me, suggests that there's no candidate out there who feels like a massive step up, who wants to take on Gladbach at the moment. Because I think on one hand, it's quite laudable to see, say, with Polanski, let's wait and see what he's able to do.
The five-time Bundesliga winners were in the Champions League in 2020/21 but are now fearing relegation
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The five-time Bundesliga winners were in the Champions League in 2020/21 but are now fearing relegationCredit: Getty
“I mean, he did get a good result at [Bayer] Leverkusen in his first game in charge, which was the first goal of the season.
“But on the other hand, if they're chucking away - they're not going to beat Bayern, of course. It's very unlikely that they're getting anything out of Bayern - But you think St. Pauli and Köln should be looked at as winnable games.
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“So if they're prepared to leave it until after that, I mean, that could be in an even bigger hole by then. And then the job becomes even less attractive to potential candidates.
“So to me, it feels like a massive risk to not appoint a permanent coach before then, whether it be Polanski or someone else who's maybe a little bit more experienced who can dig them out of that sort of hole.”