Now you gotta believe us, we’re gonna finish seventeenth! A fresh outbreak of optimism resonates around the London Stadium as the Hammers see off the disappointing challenge of Newcastle United.
Well, that went better than expected, didn’t it?
When I first learned yesterday’s match was scheduled for a Sunday afternoon, I had hoped it was because Newcastle would be returning from a gruelling trek to the easternmost reaches of Kazakhstan for a midweek Champions League fixture. Sadly, that was not the case. All they had needed to contend with was an EFL cup-tie with Tottenham in their latest Spursy iteration.
With West Ham having recorded just three home wins in the previous 12 months – and having lost all four at the London Stadium this season – it promised to be a tough afternoon at the London Stadium.
The good news was that Nuno Espirito Santo had kept away from any mind-bending psychoactive substances before making this week’s team selection. Delusions of left-field tactical brilliance were abandoned, and sanity was restored to the tactics board. A few personnel changes were in place but it was largely back to the basics that had promised much at Everton.
Despite having the strongest possible eleven on the pitch, the early omens were not good. No sooner had Jarrod Bowen’s fine 4th minute shot cannoned off the upright than the Hammers once again found themselves a goal down. Max Kilman stranded up-field, the defence stretched and Malick Diouf allowing Murphy too much room to rifle home. It was not the start we were hoping for.
In his [excellent match preview](https://westhamway.net/2025/11/02/will-west-ham-be-hammered-again-are-the-magpies-ready-to-nail-down-the-points-in-the-london-stadium/), Richard likened West Ham’s season to a clapped-out Vauxhall Astra, coughing and spluttering its way along the motorway (as a one-time Astra owner, I was rather perturbed by his choice of model – just don’t mention his Singer Chamois!) Would this early reverse become another hard shoulder to cry on? Was yet another collapse on the cards? How the Hammers reacted might prove a pivotal test of character.
To their credit, the team reacted magnificently. Heads didn’t drop and confidence slowly grew. Who could have predicted that picking pacier players and deploying them in their correct positions would produce much-improved performances? Intensity, energy and desire replacing hesitancy, confusion and negativity. To return to the car analogy: pistons had been realigned, timing corrected, handling improved and the windscreen wipers no longer came on when indicating to turn right.
There were fine performances all over the pitch. Alphonse Areola assertive in his penalty area. The defence compact and solid with the usual gaping midfield hole in front of it removed – we might also doff our caps to Nuno for having the idea of the centre-backs swapping sides. The midfield was energetic, organised and committed. Freddie Potts rightly received the plaudits for the effective simplicity of his game, and the maturity of his first Premier League start, but Mateus Fernandes was also excellent – from crunching tackles to astute passing. And Lucas Paqueta has never played a better ninety minutes for West Ham, despite the frequent falling over being increasingly ignored by referees.
The front three demonstrated a refreshing degree of movement rarely seen at the London Stadium. Bowen and Crysencio Summerville were hungry, available and prepared to carry the ball forward, while Callum Wilson operated as a centre forward should in such a system. Occupying defenders and creating space as the focal point for attacks.
With Wilson unlikely to last the whole game, it was disappointing not to have a backup striker on the bench. The implication is that Nuno doesn’t fancy Callum Marshall. But was it really necessary for Tomas Soucek, Soungoutou Magassa, Andy Irving and Guido Rodriguez to take up four of the allocated spaces?
While the ends may have justified the means, Nuno’s substitutions had introduced an overdose of anxiety into the closing stages. The Hammers finishing the game with three full backs and three central defenders and most of the pace and potential out-balls withdrawn. Hopefully, this was a ‘needs must’ strategy rather than a sign of things to come.
We must say a few words about Big Tom as his half-hour supporting role was Soucek in a condensed nutshell. Getting a boot in the chest at one end when diving in where others fear to head. Then popping up at the other to bundle home the goal that settled our nerves. And in between? About as effective as one of those inflatable tube men you see outside car dealerships.
At face value, it is difficult to reconcile how a team can apparently transform from being a lazy bunch of mercenaries who simply don’t care one week, to becoming a committed, hard-working, cohesive unit the next. My personal view is that it comes down to belief in what you are being asked or instructed to do. Belief underpins individual performance, team dynamic and tactical execution. If you don’t have it, and the margins are paper thin in elite level sport, then your opponent will exploit it. Without belief you will not recover from setbacks like yesterday’s early goal.
So, no more square pegs and round holes and we might start to see upward momentum. And that should lead to fewer taunts about laziness and not caring. The catch though is the lack of quality in depth to cope with injuries and suspensions. We have a mid-table first eleven but a bottom six squad.
It wouldn’t be a Premier League math without a sizeable proportion of the afternoon being taken up by extended VAR reviews. It is difficult to argue with the toenail precision that is now applied as the letter of offside calls rather than to the law’s original spirit. The penalty review, however, was far more perplexing.
The rationale for reversing the decision was based solely on the defender touching the ball before Bowen got to it. That he crashed recklessly into Bowen’s side at the same time apparently having no bearing on events. In any other European league, it is a definite penalty. Even if we choose to interpret the laws differently in England (let’s take back control) then why was the same criteria not applied to an identical incident when Potts was penalised for a tackle a matter of minutes later?
One of the money-making developments that I truly dislike in the modern game is the prevalence of change strips. It’s not a proper Barcodes team if they’re not wearing traditional black and white stripes. Taking the field decked out in Al-Shearwah Saudi Arabian green just isn’t right. According to AI, very few football teams wear green because it clashes with the grass. Sounds improbable but perhaps explains why Newcastle were so poor?
The visitors fearsome and expensively assembled attacking threat never materialised. After the opening goal went in they posed few problems. Woltemade has earned a big reputation but on the day looked as clueless as the succession of failed strikers who have turned out for the Hammers over the years. And as Prince Vultan once asked: “Gordon’s Alive?” Even the Hammer’s long-running nemesis Harvey Barnes failed to make even the slightest impression.
I sense Eddie Howe has plateaued at Newcastle and will soon be known as Eddie Who. My two shillings has already been staked on Andoni Iraola becoming the Magpie’s boss by the start of next season.
Watching Howe complain about West Ham adopting his patented time-wasting tactics was most amusing. The cynicism has the hallmarks of a Nuno innovation who employed it routinely at Forest last season. The mysterious case of a goalkeeper with cramp in both legs is a first and was comical in the extreme. I wish Alphonse a speedy recovery.
A great win. Time now to build on the momentum. COYI!