CLEVELAND, Ohio — Browns fans were busy digging their heads in the sand on Sunday when their phones buzzed to give them more bad news.
Around the same time Cleveland became the first franchise in over 10 years to allow a kick return touchdown and punt return touchdown in the same quarter on Sunday, it became one of the first to see two of its players indicted on federal gambling charges. And it wasn’t even 2 o’clock Cleveland time.
While the Browns pled their case as the worst team in football during a 27-20 loss to the Jets at MetLife Stadium, prosecutors alleged that Guardians pitchers Emmanuel Clase and Luis Ortiz were rigging pitches and accepting bribes.
Courts can sift through those details, but I’m ready to bang my gavel for Cleveland now in the race for most miserable sports city.
To paraphrase Chargers coach Jim Harbaugh: Nobody’s got it worse than you.
This city is done listening to woes from Bills fans, Vikings fans, Lions fans and Jets fans, all of whom think they can match low points with the factory of sadness. Boo hoo. Buffalo and Minnesota have lost four Super Bowls (and, by association, won four conference titles) a piece. Cleveland doesn’t know that pain.
Right, because Cleveland has never been to a Super Bowl.
The Lions went 0-16, and then what happened? Because the Browns nearly did it twice in a row. And Detroit has morphed into a model NFL franchise in recent years while the Browns begin another rebuild.
As for the Jets, I’ll admit it’s close. Jets fans often double as Mets fans, and neither franchise has won a championship in four decades. It’s been a long nine-plus years since the Cavs broke Cleveland’s curse, but it’s still only been nine-plus years. And the Cavs’ current core gives Cleveland plenty to be proud of every basketball season.
But let’s be honest: This is a football town first, and, I would argue, a baseball town after that. Both franchises nurse title droughts that span generations. Both have scars from close championship encounters -- The Drive, The Fumble, The Jose Mesa Game and The 2016 Rain Delay. And present day, both are better known for their scandals than their successes.
The Browns? Oh, you mean the team that traded three first-round picks and paid $230 million guaranteed for quarterback Deshaun Watson? Yeah, I’ve heard of them. Guards ball? Is that the strategy where your best pitcher (allegedly) ruins his career by throwing pitches to win small bets? Has a nice ring to it.
Sorry for piling on. I know some Clevelanders don’t like to hear their sorrows re-hashed. But I also know that, sometimes, sad people don’t want you to cheer them up. They just want someone to acknowledge their sadness.
So after another ugly Sunday, I just want Browns fans to know: I see how you suffer each week. While the rest of the country ignored Browns-Jets, you suffered through two special teams touchdowns allowed, plus two game-clinching defensive penalties during a loss to 1-7 New York (sorry, 2-7). And that wasn’t even the worst sports news you learned Sunday.
End the debate. Who’s got it worse than Cleveland sports fans?
Nooobody.
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