**Newcastle United have come in for a bit of stick from relentless jokesters Patrick Powers (we can't say their proper name because we don't want to be accused of promoting gambling).**
The Magpies are having a truly horrific start to the Premier League season, which is made infinitely worse by the fact that our friendly neighbours, Sunderland, are having a storming start to their return to life in the top flight.
Let's be honest, we all expected Sunderland to go down again this season and to do so in spectacular fashion, but regardless of what happens between now and May, nobody can knock them for the start they've made to this campaign.
We've just got to hope their luck runs out before 14th December and that we've got our mojo back by then.
> [](https://twitter.com/paddypower/status/1987904140635447552?s=20)
We have to laugh at ourselves, for we are a laughing stock right now
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In a magnificent case of kicking us while we're down, Paddy Power (this feels far enough into the article that we feel safe saying their name, and we've linked their post above so we're in it now... WE ARE NOT PROMOTING GAMBLING!), have released a quality skit posing as a Premier League helpline helping a Newcastle fan to cope with the fact that Sunderland look like they're going to finish above us this season.
The skit hits on the fact that our Saudi owners paid Jordan Henderson £700,000 a week to grow their Pro League, and questioned if the Saudi takeover was, in fact, an elaborate prank by Ant & Dec.
One of our favourite bits was the slight dig at Sunderland's manager - "I do realise it must be hard finishing below a manager whose name sounds like a cheese."
Liverpool caught a stray
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However, the coup de grace immediately followed that line:
> "Have you tried selling Sunderland a striker in January? That seemed to ruin Liverpool."
Genius! And I'll say this once again for the avoidance of doubt, we are not affiliated with Paddy Power, we are not promoting gambling, we just thought this was bloody funny.