WYOMING, MI – It was the spring of 2015, and newly hired Godwin Heights High School coach Carlton Brewster was recruiting the hallways to fill out his first roster with the Wolverines’ football program.
After talking with teachers and coaches at the school of some 600 kids, there was one freshman in particular, a tall and lean basketball and track athlete, that Brewster knew he needed to meet.
“I saw this track guy in the hallway stretching, and he’s a tall kid, about 6-foot-3, 180 pounds, and I told him, ‘Hey, man, we’d love to have you play football,’ and he was a little hesitant, but he did,” Brewster said.
That athlete was Marshawn Kneeland, who played football for Brewster as a sophomore and junior, emerging as a star defensive lineman that earned a scholarship to Western Michigan University and eventually became a second round draft pick of the Dallas Cowboys.
Kneeland died last week due to what authorities are calling a self-inflicted gunshot wound following an apparent mental health crisis and a police pursuit in Frisco, Texas.
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“It’s been tough, and the biggest thing is that he was just one of those kids that you’d never expect because he always had a smile on his face, always meant well, always worked very hard,” Brewster said of Kneeland. “He was a very smart, intelligent kid, and a lot of people loved him because of the person he is.
“He was the type of dude that I would be happy if he married my daughter because you know where his heart is at; it’s always in the right place. To hear this was just shocking. It was like, ‘What? What is going on?’
“He was polite and always had a big smile on his face. A ‘Yes, sir,’ ‘No, sir,’ type of kid, and I don’t think I ever even heard him swear before. He was just a loving, caring, easy-going guy, and when you see the pictures and videos of him smiling, that was him.”
High school football media day
Wyoming Godwin Heights football player Marshawn Kneeland poses for a photo during the MLive/Grand Rapids Press High School Football Media Day before the 2018 season. Neil Blake
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Brewster hopes the death of the beloved Godwin Heights and WMU grad affects change in the lives of pro athletes and increases awareness around the pressures that come with being an NFL player.
“Once you get drafted as a high draft pick, people don’t understand the level of expectation that you have to reach. We don’t know the pressures of that,” Brewster said. “The social media piece, it’s tough when you’re a celebrity on social media, so who knows what was going on with that.
“I always tell fans they need to be sensitive with what they say because they’re humans just like us. It’s especially tough when you’re at the highest level when you might be going through things.”
Carlton Brewster
Godwin Heights head coach Carlton Brewster yells as he tries to pump up his players during a football practice from the 2017 season. (Nic Antaya | MLive.com)Nic Antaya | MLive
Brewster, who was an All-American receiver at Ferris State and played for four NFL teams during his two years in the league, said it’s important for athletes to know it’s OK to ask for help.
“I’m not saying this specifically about him, but I’m just saying that as a former athlete and from speaking to some guys that I’m really close with and played at the highest level longer than me, asking for help can be a sign of weakness because you’re seen as a barbarian, pretty much,” he said. “You’re the king of the mountain, and you’ve got all these people looking up to you and all these people that you have to support, so the level of pressure, stress and anxiety is at an all-time high.
“I always say you have to be able to find your peace, and some of the things I live with are prayer, worship, having accountability partners and having people in your corner that are going to hold you accountable, spiritual mentors – you need something like that – and a counselor. Especially at that level, I think you need a therapist and someone that can help you navigate and someone you can talk to and trust. Those things are OK.”
Kneeland’s engaging personality and determination to reach the highest level of pro football left a big impact on the Godwin Heights community and the greater West Michigan area, and Brewster hopes he legacy lives on in the NFL and how the league and its players approach mental health.
“I hope this just isn’t just a situation where we turn the next page,” he said. “I hope this is something where the NFL and everyone can come together in regard to recognizing the signs and asking, ‘How can we help?’
“I hope something will shift in this because if not, this isn’t going to be the last one, I guarantee you. Because most guys that come to the NFL, the level of pressure and expectation and the level of people pulling and grabbing on them, it’s a lot to carry, and it’s a lot to bear because, by yourself, you’re all alone, and that’s too much for a 22-, 23- or 24-year-old kid.”
If you or someone you know needs mental health assistance, the following resources are available:
The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is a hotline for individuals in crisis or for those looking to help someone else. To speak with a trained listener, call 988.
Visit 988lifeline.org for crisis chat services or for more information.
The Michigan Crisis and Access Line (MiCAL ) is the statewide crisis and access line. MiCAL is a 988 call center and is primarily responsible for answering 988 calls originating from Michigan.
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