There are a whole slew of historical reasons why 13 is considered an unlucky number. There were 13 people at the table during The Last Supper, and the 13th man was Judas Iscariot. The Norse trickster god Loki was said to be the 13th guest at the feast in Valhalla, and his presence led to the death of Baldur. A year with 13 full moons instead of 12 caused all kinds of disruptions for early time and calendar management. When the 13th day of the month falls on a Friday, bullied child zombies from a long-closed summer camp don hockey masks and go ham on randy teenagers. It’s a number to be avoided in most circles.
And so it’s not without some degree of irony that during the year of the 13th anniversary of the single worst play in NFL history, one of its main participants finds his head somewhere significantly worse than his offensive lineman’s behind.
From my family to yours, a very happy Buttfumble-versary to you all.
The official anniversary isn’t until tomorrow, but seeing as how it’s the Friday before Thanksgiving, and next week will consist of two days of slacking off at work followed by a horrendous afternoon of travel as we all head off to celebrate the best day of the year with our friends and families, I thought I’d kick things off a little early by honoring Mark Sanchez, Vince Wilfork, Brandon Moore, and Steve Gregory on the play that will live on forever in football infamy.
Thanksgiving Night, 2012. A Pats-Jets showdown in primetime. The 4-6 Jets hosting the 8-2 Patriots in a time slot that Woody Johnson heavily petitioned the NFL to give his team in order to give them more national exposure.
As Aesop so famously said, be careful what you wish for.
That 49-19 drubbing had so many highlights — at least from a Patriots perspective. Tommy B threw for 323 yards and three touchdowns. The Patriots rushed for 152 yards on the ground. New England scored offensive, defensive, and Special Teams touchdowns. 21 points scored in the span of 52 seconds. Completely humiliating a division rival on the biggest football day of the year. That Pats-Jets game will remain one for the record books for decades to come.
And because all of the above, if I were to be completely objective about everything (note: I definitely am not), I would have to say that the most infamous play of that whole game, the one we all come back to time and time again whenever we need a good laugh, wasn’t even the best moment of the night. There’s the Shane Vereen 83-yard run or the 56-yard TD bomb to Edelman or the McCourty hit on McKnight to knock the ball right into Edelman’s hands for the score, which all represented better play. But…
(Or should I say, butt…)
The play that Patriots fans remember most, the play that everybody remembers most, was Mark Sanchez plowing face-first into Brandon Moore’s patoot, dropping the ball, and Steve Gregory scooping it up for the easy score to put the Pats up 27-0. Nobody remembers that it was a busted play and Sanchez was just trying to salvage whatever yards he could. Nobody remembers that Vince Wilfork pushed Moore straight back and blocked up the narrow running lane that Sanchez had. All anyone remembers is a facemask, a derriere, a fumble, and a touchdown en route to an historic beatdown.
That it happened on Thanksgiving, of all nights, just makes it that much crazier. I can’t help but feel like even the most casual of football fans will have the games on at Thanksgiving, and adding a third night game to the slate was brand new at that point, so there were even more eyes on these two teams. As a result, the Buttfumble has been cemented into Americana almost as staunchly as Mark Sanchez’s facemask was cemented into Brandon Moore’s cheeks. It has become as synonymous with Thanksgiving as cranberry sauce, tryptophan, and heated political dialogue with drunken relatives.
So allow me to again wish you all a happy Buttfumble-versary. May your day be merry and bright.