Chelsea
Chelsea Football Club: what’s not to like? Photograph: Paul Childs/Action Images/Reuters
WE’RE SORRY
Chelsea Football Club, an apology. Football Daily, and many others, would like to admit we might have poked rather too much fun at the machinations of the institution that brought us such chortlesome items as amortisation, nine-year contracts, spending a billion quid, stockpiling young players, flogging hotels to linked companies for accountancy reasons and selling a globally admired women’s team to linked companies for accountancy reasons. What larks we had! Todd Boehly, sweat-panted sire of soccernomics, we salute you. Behdad Eghbali, prince of pincer-like movements to snap up Geovany Quenda, Dário Essugo and Kendry Páez, whoever they are, take a bow. Clearlake Capital, Mark Walter and Hansjörg Wyss, names not mentioned enough, you guys have broken the mould. Who says private equity firms, global investment suits and nonagenarian Swiss billionaire financiers know nothing about football? Football Daily’s flat-capped, flat-earthers have been made to look dafter than ever.
On Tuesday in Bigger Cup, as Barcelona were made to look rather less than a football team, let alone more than a club, the Chelsea project flowered in front of the planet’s eyes. In Estêvão the club appears to boast what in the USA USA USA they call a “franchise player”. His performance overshadowed that of Lamine Yamal, making Spanish football’s prime asset resemble last year’s smartphone compared to Estêvão’s bright and shiny new model, with special AI functions, better camera and all that jazz. Talking of Spaniards, Marc Cucurella, previously mocked as a Louis XIV-haired waste of £60m from feeder club Brighton, did a right number on Lamine Yamal, the latest impressive showing from one of the most improved players around.
Talking tonsorially, there’s far less bald fraud talk about Enzo Maresca. Sure, he doesn’t smoulder like José Mourinho in those mid-2000s Richard Gere-in-raincoat days and doesn’t have the same cool as Carlo Ancelotti, but Maresca already has two trophies. If some decry Tin Pot and the Copa Gianni, he has continued Chelsea’s tradition of trousering silverware. Winning pots is what Chelsea have done better than anyone in England since Roman Abramovich’s chopper landed; Arsenal have found them rather harder to come by. Last weekend, as the Gunners smashed Spurs, Manchester City had their latest wobble and Liverpool fans began to pinpoint relegation six-pointers in their diaries, the mist cleared to announce Chelsea as the only true challengers.
And lo, the Premier League fixture computer pulled out a plum. On Sunday, Mikel Arteta’s artillery will be getting it launched at Stamford Bridge, as the north Londoners owned by a real estate magnate in the red corner take on the west Londoners owned by a consortium of investment capital suits in the blue corner. Thank you, Todd, Behdad and the lads, for restoring football’s romance, and once again, sorry for doubting you.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“For all you people in America, if you don’t know about it, you need to get right into Tunnock’s. I think the way the night went for Scotland supporters, they’ll all be really looking forward to going to America and invading America. This will be the biggest invasion America’s had for years with Scotland supporters! We’re hoping to go over there and shock the rest of the world” – David Moyes, there, with some passionate language that will please Thomas Tunnock Ltd though he may have unwittingly put the US department of homeland security on high alert.
Tasty Tunnock’s Caramel biscuits
Tasty. Photograph: Jane Rix/Alamy
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
In ‘never go back’ and ‘sequels are never as good’ (excluding the Godfather Part II obviously) news, a doff of the cap to Martin O’Neill. Five wins out of his six games in charge with a team that had only one out of the previous six games and Celtic’s first away win in Europe in four years” – Noble Francis.
If Graeme Souness believes that Mo Salah’s brother has been playing in his place this season (yesterday’s Football Daily), then we have to take him seriously. After all, given his experience with George Weah’s cousin Ali Dia when Southampton manager, who better than Souness to spot an imposter who’s only getting game time due to family connections?” – Christian Goldsmith.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Christian Goldsmith. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here. In fact, we’ll be giving away copies of Mary Earps’s book next week. It caused a bit of a stir, you may remember.
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MAN OF HONOUR
Juan Sebastián Verón’s brief time at Manchester United pre-dates fans of local rivals City adopting the Poznan. But perhaps down the years he’s taken note because it seems to have got the silky midfielder into a spot of bother. Verón, now chief suit at Estudiantes, has been given “a six-month suspension from all football-related activities” for advising his team to turn their backs on Rosario’s players rather than give them a guard of honour. Verón’s vitriol was a protest at the Argentine Football Association suddenly deciding to invent a new rule mid-season and crown Rosario as “League Champion” for 2025 for accumulating most points over the two tournaments that comprise the Primera Division. Normally that feat only earns entry for the Copa Libertadores. For extra laughs, having performed their salty “reverse guard of honour”, Estudientes then beat Rosario 1-0 in their Clausura last 16 clash, meaning the new “champions” have already been eliminated before the quarter-final stage of the season-ending knockout phase.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Architects’ renderings of stadiums in Manchester and Birmingham have been included in the UK’s bid for the 2035 Women’s World Cup. The British bid is currently the sole contender for the tournament and cutting the list of 22 proposed venues down to 16 will be made much easier if Manchester United and Birmingham City’s new stadiums fail to get off the ground.
Birmingham City new stadium
The air quality doesn’t look great around the proposed new stadium for Birmingham City.
Iran will boycott the draw for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup in protest at the USA USA USA’s limited allocation of visas for members of the Iranian delegation.
No news was good news for Liverpool manager Arne Slot as he faced the press the day after his side’s ninth loss in 12 matches. After a meeting with sporting director Richard Hughes, Slot told the baiting pack that he would “fight on” at Liverpool. “We try to improve, that’s what we all try,” flailed the Dutchman.
Aston Villa’s 2-1 win over Young Boys was marred by away fans clashing with police, stewards and Donyell Malen. The striker was hit by a missile thrown by the visiting supporters, who also ripped up seats and had to be quietened down by Loris Benito, the Young Boys captain.
Nottingham Forest are swiftly turning into Malmö’s bogey’s team. Coming hot on the heels of Trevor Francis’s stooping header to clinch Big Cup in Munich in 1979 (and knocking them out of the 1995 Big Vase), goals from Ryan Yates, Arnaud Kalimuendo and Nikola Milenkovic against the 24-time Swedish champions put Forest firmly on course to progress in Bigger Vase.
Arnaud Kalimuendo gets his celebration on.
Arnaud Kalimuendo gets his celebration on. Photograph: Ritchie Sumpter/Nottingham Forest FC/Getty Images
In Alsace, a bunch of players not quite good enough to play for Brighton or Chelsea beat Crystal Palace 2-1. Strasbourg head coach Liam Rosenior crowed: “There’s no statement victories and no statements you make in November, we have to remain very humble.” The Eagles are currently 18th in the Tin Pot league table and need results in both of their final two matches to avoid the knockout phase playoffs.
And Yoane Wissa is nearing his first appearance in a Newcastle shirt. The forward has been knacked since agitating a way out of Brentford in the summer. Eddie Howe said: “He trained with us for the first time on Wednesday so I was really pleased with how he looked. That’s his first time competitively with the group. Let’s see how he responds today.” Less good news for Kieran Trippier, as Howe revealed the veteran full-back is going to miss around a month with hamstring twang.
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STILL WANT MORE?
What are 10 things we should look out for in the Premier League this weekend? You’ll find the answer here.
Liverpool have dropped to 12th in the table – matching the lowest finish by reigning Premier League champions. WhoScored’s Harry Paterson with the latest from the Guardian Sport Network on “bad champions”.
To the surprise of few and the despair of many, it will be either Palmeiras or Flamengo lifting the Copa Libertadores trophy on Saturday at Lima’s Estadio Monumental. Caio Carrieri explains why.
And Sarina Wiegman has had to rejig England’s defence and captaincy for a Wembley friendly with China that should pose new challenges, writes Sophie Downey.
Sarina Wiegman delivers instructions in a Lionesses training session.
Sarina Wiegman delivers instructions in a Lionesses training session.
MEMORY LANE
25 November 1987: Mark Hughes’s time at Bayern Munich on loan from Barcelona is often forgotten, but here he is wearing a lovely retro kit at Goodison Park in the Football League Centenary Challenge, a friendly match celebrating the Football League’s 100th anniversary. Everton won 3-1. Hughes had a short stint at Everton 13 years later.
Mark Hughes
Photograph: Colorsport/Shutterstock
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