BRENT A GOB: This week, Harry's taking aim at Florian Wirtz and the bizarrely positive reporting of his performances for Liverpool, and at the term 'farmers league'
13:44, 04 Dec 2025Updated 13:57, 04 Dec 2025
Harry Brent
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Our man Harry Brent is furious in his latest column
The mollycoddling of Florian Wirtz in recent weeks is more baffling than the fact Gabby Agbonlahor gets paid for his punditry.
That fella's been given more of a let-off than Cole Palmer got when he forgot how to score for half a year last season. Wirtz has zero goals and zero assists in his first 13 league games.
For four months, he's resembled a nervous, freshly-sheared diabetic lamb, drifting aimlessly around the pitch like a Windows logo on a screensaver.
Florian Wirtz slipping over
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Florian Wirtz has been rubbish - but keeps getting let off the hook in the press(Image: Getty Images)
For someone who cost half the GDP of Andorra, he's made a pathetically slow start. Honestly, I've seen more speed out of the gates from Steve Bruce running the 100 metres.
And yet, every week it's puff piece after puff piece, excuse after excuse, and articles about how the "underlying numbers prove he's actually been playing well." Major outlets are kissing his a*** and stroking his ego like FIFA have been doing with Donald Trump.
Claiming that Wirtz – who looks about as threatening as Jacob Rees-Mogg in a karate outfit – hasn't been that bad is as nonsensical as asking Andre "Butterfingers" Onana to babysit a Ming vase.
Florian Wirtz
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Wirtz failed to score or assist in 16 of his first 17 Liverpool games(Image: Getty Images)
And yet, many in the press keep crooning over him like he's a German genius in the mould of Beethoven – a man whose misfortunes inspired masterpieces, unlike Wirtz, whose misfortunes inspire early substitutions.
The same nonsense happened with Jack Grealish, who somehow earned nationwide cheek-pinching and playful pats on the bum every time he produced a £100m stinker for Manchester City.
Why is it happening again? This isn't Manchester United. We can't let being subpar become the accepted norm.
Florian Wirtz
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Florian Wirtz became the Premier League's record arrival in the summer following his £116m move to Liverpool from Bayer Leverkusen(Image: Getty Images)
I know we live in the #BeKind era, but enough with the fluffy, forgiving stuff! Wirtz has been crap – Wayne-Rooney's-managerial-career levels of crap – since moving to the Premier League. Pretending otherwise is just daft.
Leave the cheerleading and public therapy sessions to the Liverpool fans. The press should be treating Wirtz the way Moises Caicedo treats opposition ankles: with merciless, unforgiving brutality.
More farm than good
I hate the term "farmers league." I hate it more than Tottenham hate winning at home… apparently. It's the laziest, most brain-dead insult English football fans have invented since dubbing Pep Guardiola a bald fraud.
It gets trotted out whenever Premier League teams get a good result in Europe with logic that's as misplaced as one of Guglielmo Vicario's clearances.
Joshua Kimmich and Declan Rice
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The 'famers league' insult gets tossed around too carelessly, as it did after Arsenal's win over Bayern Munich last week(Image: Rob Newell - CameraSport via Getty Images)
Arsenal beat Bayern Munich? So what? Farmers league. Chelsea smash Barcelona? Who cares? Liga de agricultores.
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The term used to mean something – a cheeky jab at divisions where the quality was genuinely low, like Bruno Fernandes' pain threshold-levels of low. But now it's been flung around so often it's lost all meaning, like "generational talent," "parking the bus," and "Nicolas Jackson will come good."
At this point, using the "farmers league" insult makes you sound more idiotic and condescending than a Tim Sherwood half-time team talk. I don't mind a bit of condescension, but at least have the basic dignity to get it right, and don't overuse the terms more than Mikel Arteta overuses hair gel and centre backs.
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