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By TARA ANSON-WALSH, FOOTBALL REPORTER
Published: 14:29 EST, 16 December 2025 | Updated: 14:38 EST, 16 December 2025
Chloe Kelly has admitted that she has been unable to listen back to the podcast in which she revealed her struggles with anxiety and alopecia earlier this year, saying it feels like she is ‘reliving everything again’.
The 27-year-old forward has been nominated for BBC Sports Personality of the Year after scoring the winning penalty in the 2025 Women’s Euros final, just nine weeks after starting in the Champions League final against Barcelona as Arsenal lifted their first title in the competition for 18 years.
It is a remarkable end to a year that began on her bathroom floor, sick and overwhelmed with anxiety and suffering from alopecia – a battle she first made public on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast, released on Monday.
Speaking on Tuesday, Kelly said: ‘I haven't listened to the podcast because it feels like you're reliving everything again. But my mum and Scott (her husband who she married last year) shared a tear because actually, it’s reliving it for them too.
‘I’m grateful for both of them. They got me through a tough time. I think it was about more than just football. My mum didn't care about football at the time. She just said, “I just want my little girl to be happy”.’
At the end of January, a loan move from Manchester City back to the club of her childhood, Arsenal, saw the first shoots of her recovery coming through.
Kelly has been nominated for BBC Sports Personality of the Year after scoring the winning penalty in the Women¿s Euros final - weeks after winning the Champions League with Arsenal
Kelly has admitted that she has been unable to listen back to the podcast in which she revealed her struggles with anxiety and alopecia, saying it would feel like 'reliving everything again'
‘January was the end of, and breaking a cycle, which I was stuck in. That was what I wanted to do in that moment to make a step in the right direction,’ Kelly said.
‘I didn't know that it was the right direction at the time. It was a direction. Taking that step and making that move to Arsenal in January, one that I'll be forever grateful for.
‘January was a difficult time and I actually got a puppy in the midst of it. I said to Scott, “I’m so sad right now, can I get a puppy” and he said, we can go and see one but I wasn’t getting one. And I came away with a puppy, so I got my own way with that.
‘It was trying to find happiness and a few weeks later, moving to London with three dogs, not knowing where I'm going to live, the fear of the unknown, of how things were going to work out.
‘When I moved to the club, it wasn't overnight happiness, it was taking a step in the right direction and every day making that step in the right direction and finding happiness at a club that gave me so much as a young player.’
Despite the positive change, Kelly continued to battle the physical effects of alopecia.
‘I remember before the north London derby (in February) and I FaceTimed Scott and I said, “I can't cover my ball patches”. I had one either side of my head.
‘It was tough trying to be prepared for a game, but also trying to hide something that now is a part of me. So then I decided I was going to change my hairstyle, you probably noticed I didn’t have the pre-wrap (headband) for a while, until I felt confident enough to.
‘I spoke to doctors at England and Arsenal and saw a hair specialist. During one of my breaks from football my mum came with me to see the specialist and I had to have injections into my head.
‘I knew that I needed to do that to feel better and to feel myself not on the pitch but away from the pitch as well.’
As Kelly rebuilt her mental health off the pitch, her form and confidence returned on it.
The 27-year-old from Ealing, who etched her name into history by scoring the winner to secure the Lionesses’ first major trophy in 2022, had simply set her sights on making Sarina Wiegman’s squad for the summer – but found more success along the way.
‘I didn't aim to win the Champions League at the start of the year,’ Kelly, who joined Arsenal permanently in the summer, said with a laugh. ‘My aim was to be at the Euros and to be competing with my country. Winning the Champions League was an incredible moment, and one I'm so grateful for.
‘But being selected for the Euros was so special and all of the hard work of the January transfer window paid off.
Kelly exuded confidence throughout the tournament, converting three crucial penalties in succession during the knockout stages. In the most intense moments, she thrived under pressure.
‘The setbacks in my career allows me to be confident because I'm like, “what's worse than then?” I trained for this moment and it can't get worse than the situation of my ACL or how I was feeling in January so let's take this moment with both hands and enjoy it.
Kelly exuded compuosure at the tournament, converting three crucial penalties in succession during the knockout stages, with the 27-year-old saying her setbacks helped her confidence
‘I don't really take the big moments in as it's happening. I'm just focused and I'm ready to take it. And then after I think “that was special”.
‘I’m settled down here (in London) now. I'm feeling good. I've got a real happiness to my game and I'm in a good place. Obviously, I’ve got a little injury at the moment, but it's not going to stop my smile.’
Kelly could become the third Lioness to win the prestigious SPOTY award in the past four years. She faces competition from the likes of bookies’ favourite and Ryder Cup winner Rory McIlroy, Formula One champion Lando Norris and Red Roses World Cup-winning star Ellie Kildunne, who are also nominated amongst others.
She added: ‘It's a night to celebrate sport across the board and there's so much talent. I'm honored to be nominated and seeing Mary (Earps) and Beth (Mead) win it, it's incredible for our sport. I think it takes women's football so much further.’
For confidential support, call Samaritans on 116 123, visit samaritans.org or visit https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/