Well then, where on earth to start?
If you’re a fan of narratives away from the football itself, you’re in luck. They are coursing through today’s 3pm kick-offs.
Will Liam Rosenior be able to get Chelsea a win against fellow west Londoners, high-flying Brentford, in his first Premier League match in charge? A defeat would surely hurt the new Blues boss.
Across London there’s another fiery game in store. Hapless West Ham travel to… hapless Spurs. Surely a defeat for either manager could cause some serious repercussions.
Elsewhere, Liverpool host Burnley in what could be a battle of the anti-football. Arne Slot himself even admitted his Reds side are dull. Facing one of the relegation favourites at a packed Anfield surely presents the opportunity to entertain… right?
Sunderland host Crystal Palace 24 hours on from Oliver Glasner’s bombshell news that he will leave the Eagles at the end of the season, while Fulham travel to Leeds who, let’s not forget, are flying at Elland Road of late.
As ever, we’ll be here to bring you every header, mistimed slide tackle and contentious VAR call across all of the afternoon’s kick-offs.
And if that’s not enough, you’ll also get live insight straight from the grounds courtesy of Daily Mail Sport’s roving reporters.
Strap yourselves in. Let’s do this thing!
