Leadership is often treated as something mystical—an ineffable quality possessed by a lucky few. Charisma, command presence, or some unnamed spark is assumed to separate great leaders from the rest.
John Amaechi has little patience for that narrative. A former NBA player turned organizational psychologist, Amaechi has spent decades studying what actually drives performance inside teams and institutions. His conclusion is both sobering and empowering: leadership isn’t magic. And that’s precisely the point.
In his book, [It’s Not Magic: The Ordinary Skills of Exceptional Leaders](https://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Magic-Ordinary-Exceptional/dp/1394338279/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1V2T33KELGSGD&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.9MxnlZGco9ZhWq10H1ZGw5xBbpUfzch9eyaw-cc4QIo.4YaJCHB8Ejvl37YT9SVFdEwoyW_2QRclukCtuGioT6k&dib_tag=se&keywords=It%E2%80%99s+Not+Magic%3A+The+Ordinary+Skills+of+Exceptional+Leaders&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1767380773&sprefix=it+s+not+magic+the+ordinary+skills+of+exceptional+leaders%2Caps%2C105&sr=8-1), Amaechi dismantles the comforting fiction that leadership excellence is innate. When I asked what inspired the book, his answer was blunt. “It was a frustration with some of the leaders I work with who seem to believe leadership is about something you’re born with, you either have or you don’t.”
That frustration led him to test his own assumptions. Amaechi had colleagues from the University of Exeter observe his work, expecting they’d find at least a trace of something extraordinary. Instead, he said, what emerged was far less glamorous—and far more actionable. “It’s an interesting combination of very ordinary skills … a little disappointing but I think an excellent lesson for all leaders who say they can’t do something.”
One of those ordinary skills is presence. Amaechi cited research from the United Kingdom’s largest hospital system showing that patient outcomes improved based on a single factor: whether patients believed their surgeon had genuine empathy. “Whether they thought their surgeon cared was important. The presence of that person, the authenticity of the interactions, and the fact that the interactions weren’t just transactional made a significant difference.”
The same dynamic plays out in organizations. “Managers who are transactional, who seem to manage to be in a space with their people but somehow absent from that space undermine performance, especially when people sense they’re competing with email for attention,” Amaechi said. “Human beings are highly attuned in social interactions. When people feel unseen, there’s no point in your talking anymore. What you add will be increasingly less valuable over time.”
This isn’t about “being nice,” he emphasized. “This is about how do you create an environment where people are willing to share their ideas?”
Amaechi saw those lessons early in his NBA career. One story he shared had nothing to do with basketball. A veteran player intervened when a rookie bought a second luxury car in two weeks. “He said give me the keys,” Amaechi recalled. The veteran returned the car and then explained financial realities to the rookie. “I thought this is what it is to lead. Here is this person protecting me, instilling habits that will last all the way through to retirement.”
Leadership myths, Amaechi argued, do real damage. “They think that you’re either born a leader or you’re not a leader,” he said. Others confuse leadership with aggression: “They think leadership is about volume and aggression, so essentially a proxy for masculinity.” Still others believe leadership is a single behavior rather than a collection of small ones. “True leadership is broken down into lots and lots of tiny little things that make a difference.”
Even something as simple as approachability is behavioral, he said. “It’s the way you hold your face when someone approaches you,” he explained. “Leaders who don’t even turn their chair around to face someone in a conversation send a clear message: You’re literally telling them that they’re not worth the effort of swiveling.”
Underlying many leadership failures, Amaechi sees one dominant pattern. “The most common mistake is prioritizing comfort or at least the avoidance of discomfort over organizational performance.” He shared watching a senior leader boast about gym soreness, then avoid difficult feedback conversations moments later. “He wants to win, he says, but he chose personal comfort over organizational performance.”
That avoidance is costly. “Frightened people don’t perform, anxious people don’t perform, uncertain people don’t perform,” Amaechi said. Leadership, at its core, requires emotional self-regulation. “Nobody is doing their best work during an earthquake.”
For Amaechi, the question leaders should ask themselves daily is deceptively simple: “Do you really know yourself accurately to how others see you?” Many leaders believe they are candid and direct, he noted, but are experienced as “callous and cruel and thoughtless and careless.”
The promise of _It’s Not Magic_ isn’t comfort. It’s responsibility. Exceptional leadership doesn’t come from theatrics or titles, but from choosing presence over distraction, courage over comfort, and curiosity over ego. There is no lightning bolt required. Just ordinary skills, practiced deliberately, in full view of the people counting on you.