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Should Bfw break out the big guns to convince Dayot Upamecano to stay at Bayern Munich?

When LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2010 for the Miami Heat, it was one of the most controversial and discussed topics of all time in the NBA — and was the birth of the famous phrase, “I’m taking my talents to South Beach.”

In a pre-emptive (yet failed) attempt to stop James from leaving Cleveland, the city’s top C and D List celebrities rallied to put together the cheesiest (worst?) song of all time:

With _Cooper Sharp_ oozing everywhere out of that thing, it got me thinking what it might look like if we here at BFW put together something for Bayern Munich center-back Dayot Upamecano. Let’s do this…and make the absolute cheesiest BFW version of that Cleveland-based mess:

**_Tom Adams (air drumming like he’s Phil Collins for no good reason):_**

There comes a time, when a decision must be made

Will Dayot move on or will he stay?

We’ve been really patient, but this is dragging on

It’s true, we need to make plans if you want to be gone

Bayern offered a big raise

It’s a choice you’re making

Will you stay or will you go?

Just make up your mind, bro

Just tell us Dayot, what’s wrong with Bayern’s deal?

You’re making the exit clause way too big of an ordeal

Madrid is overcrowded; those people are unbearable

And don’t forget: Barca, Liverpool, and Chelsea are terrible

Is gonna let you slide as much as we do

It’s a choice you’re making

Come on spill the damn tea

Or we’ve got to go and court Schlotti

You could play for Werder Bremen

It’s a choice you’re making

Even if your agent is a clown

And it’s dragging us all down

You’ve got a bonus and a raise

And now we’ve reach the point

It’s a choice you’re making

This has taken way too long

If you think somewhere else is better

_(Author’s Note: This is the most intentionally stupid post I have ever written and I could not laugh more at the thought of the BFW community getting together to record an insanely cringy video to convince Upamecano to stay. It would be a sight to behold!)_

See More:

* [Bayern Munich Front Office](/bayern-munich-finances-board)

* [Bayern Munich Transfer News and Rumors](/bayern-munich-transfer-rumors-news)

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