When LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers in 2010 for the Miami Heat, it was one of the most controversial and discussed topics of all time in the NBA — and was the birth of the famous phrase, “I’m taking my talents to South Beach.”
In a pre-emptive (yet failed) attempt to stop James from leaving Cleveland, the city’s top C and D List celebrities rallied to put together the cheesiest (worst?) song of all time:
With _Cooper Sharp_ oozing everywhere out of that thing, it got me thinking what it might look like if we here at BFW put together something for Bayern Munich center-back Dayot Upamecano. Let’s do this…and make the absolute cheesiest BFW version of that Cleveland-based mess:
**_Tom Adams (air drumming like he’s Phil Collins for no good reason):_**
There comes a time, when a decision must be made
Will Dayot move on or will he stay?
We’ve been really patient, but this is dragging on
It’s true, we need to make plans if you want to be gone
Bayern offered a big raise
It’s a choice you’re making
Will you stay or will you go?
Just make up your mind, bro
Just tell us Dayot, what’s wrong with Bayern’s deal?
You’re making the exit clause way too big of an ordeal
Madrid is overcrowded; those people are unbearable
And don’t forget: Barca, Liverpool, and Chelsea are terrible
Is gonna let you slide as much as we do
It’s a choice you’re making
Come on spill the damn tea
Or we’ve got to go and court Schlotti
You could play for Werder Bremen
It’s a choice you’re making
Even if your agent is a clown
And it’s dragging us all down
You’ve got a bonus and a raise
And now we’ve reach the point
It’s a choice you’re making
This has taken way too long
If you think somewhere else is better
_(Author’s Note: This is the most intentionally stupid post I have ever written and I could not laugh more at the thought of the BFW community getting together to record an insanely cringy video to convince Upamecano to stay. It would be a sight to behold!)_
See More:
* [Bayern Munich Front Office](/bayern-munich-finances-board)
* [Bayern Munich Transfer News and Rumors](/bayern-munich-transfer-rumors-news)