NBANBAWe’re tackling heavy hitters like: Which NBA player would dominate at roarball? And can we please see a spinoff about gerbil landlord Wayne Knight and his thousands of gerbil children?
Sony Pictures/Getty Images/Ringer illustration
By Tyler ParkerFeb. 11, 3:52 pm UTC• 8 min
On Friday, a new sports movie hits theaters. It is the first fully animated basketball feature-length film in history and it’s produced by Steph Curry, a basketball player you may have heard of. It’s called Goat. Not goat like “greatest of all time,” goat like the animal. The film is about a small Boer goat trying to make it in a basketball-adjacent sport known as roarball. And if that elevator pitch leaves you with some questions, don’t worry. We’ve got some answers.
1. What is this movie about?
Will is a goat with dreams of becoming a roarball player. He’s been a massive fan of his hometown team, the Vineland Thorns, since he was a kid, and is determined to play for them one day. Problem is, he’s a “Small.” And no Small has ever played roarball. The sport is populated by “Bigs.” Rhinos, polar bears, alligators, gorillas, and so on. Top of the food chain. But Will believes in himself. When Mane Attraction—a horse (of course) and the best player from Vineland’s rival, Team Magma—comes to Vineland challenging all comers to one-on-one, Will breaks his ankle with a crossover and almost beats him. A video of the crossover goes viral, and the Thorns owner sees it and signs him. The movie follows the rest of the Thorns’ season, its ups and downs, ins and outs, wins and losses.
2. Does Google Docs recognize the word “roarball,” or are you getting the squiggly red line?
Red line for sure. I might as well be typing gaffakdgdsdjieywq)yobxzml.
3. How thinly veiled are the parallels to Steph?
Unlike Steph, Will did not grow up in roarball locker rooms, with a roarball-playing father. He was not taken in the lottery of the roarball draft. But there are a number of notable similarities: Will is small compared with his opponents. He has a tight handle, and a smooth jumper. He does the “night night” celebration at one point. He shimmies at another. His long-distance shooting is a revelation in a sport previously dominated by giants.
Beyond the Steph parallels, the movie does a good job with the off-the-court details in general. There are tunnel walks and powerless coaches and players who cannot stop checking their phones, worried about what the public is saying about the way they just played.
4. Does Curry have a part in the movie?
In addition to producing the film, he is the voice of Lenny, a journeyman giraffe with a chin ponytail who’s played on 10 teams in 10 years. He’s been around the block. Sort of an Ish Smith situation.
5. Is Curry a good voice actor?
He’s totally fine. Is he Mel Blanc? No. How dare you even ask me that question, but he’s game enough.
6. Let’s talk about roarball. Is it basically just basketball with animals?
Not exactly. Roarball is far more physical than an NBA basketball game. Not sure I saw a single free throw? Players smash into each other and keep it moving. Chris Finch would have a conniption. Goaltending appears to be legal. And the home-court advantages extend to the courts themselves. The playing surfaces are alive with terrors.
7. Wait, what? The courts are alive?
That’s what I said. They’re not wood. They’re alive. They change. They affect the game. One is made of ice that can break apart mid-game. One has vines you can get caught in. One is like a cave with stalactites periodically falling from the ceiling. One has lava and temporary tectonic shifts.
This is something NBA commissioner Adam Silver should implement across the league. The Thunder should have man-made lightning strikes inside the arena that produce actual thunder. The Lakers should play on a glass-bottom court in the middle of a lake. Periodically, a hole should open in the floor so that someone falls in. The Spurs should wear actual spurs on the backs of their shoes. They should also, sometimes, for like a five-minute stretch in the first half, get to play on horseback.
8. What does a roarball itself look like?
It’s like a basketball, but it’s perforated so that clawed animals can grip it without puncturing the ball and making it go flat. Visually it looks like a cross between the FIFA and WNBA basketballs.
9. Is it made of leather?
No, and that’s honestly super offensive. You think animals are playing with anything made of leather? That could be one of their friends, a member of their family, you heartless chode. It’s made of some kind of polyurethane-adjacent, composite-rubber-ish material.
10. Which NBA player would dominate roarball?
Roarball is extremely physical. The first player that came to mind was Steven Adams. The second player that came to mind was Jalen Duren. The third player that came to mind was Anthony Edwards. If we can go into the past, which we can, we have the technology—Miami LeBron is a roarball monster. ’93 Barkley’s a roarball monster. Or, remember Ivan Johnson? He played for the Hawks for a couple of seasons between 2011 and 2013, always hooped with a grill? I feel like he’d have been a great roarball player.
11. Did the film do anything fun with the Columbia Pictures Torch Lady logo?
They had her spinning a roarball on her finger. It was delightful.
12. What is the best moment of the film?
There’s an elephant that acts as a T-shirt cannon and that’s cinema, friendo.
13.What is the worst moment?
When Will gets kicked out of his apartment because he can’t pay rent. He’s living in a converted garage at his gerbil landlord’s place. The gerbil’s named Frank and voiced by Wayne Knight because of course he is. Can you think of anyone who would make more sense as a gerbil named Frank? Wayne Knight as a gerbil named Frank, makes me feel good just typing it. I read it and smile. And when Will got evicted, I knew that meant less gerbil Wayne Knight in the movie. And I wanted more gerbil Wayne Knight. I wanted him in every scene. Gerbil Wayne Knight is the father of what seemed to be upward of 2,000 gerbil children. I would watch an entire spinoff based on him and his thousands of gerbil children and actually I’m realizing now I’m underselling it. I would watch a trilogy focused exclusively on gerbil Wayne Knight and his thousands of gerbil children. I’d watch six seasons and six movies of gerbil Wayne Knight and his mountain of gerbil children.
14. Would my kids like this movie?
Mine enjoyed it. They are both decidedly basketball-pilled at this point, and if you give them animals playing a sport they like, they’re gonna be into it. Being 6 and 8, they were frustrated that they weren’t able to immediately identify all the different types of animals in the movie, but that feels less like a problem with the film and more like a problem with the way we’re raising them. If they can’t readily identify an animated proboscis monkey on sight, that’s on us as parents. We are failing them and have not prepared them for success.
Their favorite moment was when one of Wayne Knight’s gerbil children tries to throw Will a sandwich right after he’s been evicted. The kid chucks it out a window, but, you know, he’s a gerbil. He can’t throw very far. The sandwich lands in a puddle, and the gerbil says, “Air ball.” Big laughs from the Parker sisters. They were also extremely stoked that one of Will’s best friends is a capybara named Daryl. They’re both in a prolonged capybara phase these days, completely obsessed with the animal. I didn’t know what a capybara was until I was an adult. Kids these days have a greater swath of animals to appreciate than I did when I was younger. When I was a kid, it was all pretty standard, big-ticket animals. Lions, horses, tigers, zebras, moose, bears, cows, wolves. My kids have me learning how to pronounce axolotl. I understand their passion for the capybara, though. They are adorable, frankly, and I want one. My phone’s feeding me clips of capys at Izu Shaboten Zoo in Japan taking open-air baths with citrus fruits, a capybara café in Tokyo called Cafe Capyba, and random videos of them getting their fur brushed. Honestly, every video of a capybara I see, seems like they’ve got life pretty well figured out. Also, Daryl plays a video game called Roar2K.
15. Is THE Jenifer Lewis in this movie?
Yes! Thank you for asking me. THE Jenifer Lewis—a gift from God, a power beyond all measure—is in this movie.
16. You must’ve freaked out when you realized that, huh?
Very much so. Wouldn’t you?
17. For sure. She rules. One of the greatest to ever do it. What’s up with her character?
She plays a warthog named Flo, the team owner of the Vineland Thorns. Flo immediately enters the pantheon of animated warthog characters, along with Pumbaa and … I guess it’s just her and Pumbaa, but what a combo. We need more warthogs in movies. We’re batting a thousand.
18. Did they give Flo an amazing character introduction?
The first time we see her, she’s lounging, relaxing, holding court in a mud bath.
19. Did you pass out?
For about 10 to 15 seconds.
20. Were you more excited about her or Wayne Knight?
That’s like asking me to pick between my children, and I won’t do it.
21. So you were more excited about Wayne Knight, huh?
I mean, yes, but look, the heart wants what the heart wants, and I hope Mrs. Lewis knows how much she means to me.
22. What’s the best player name in the movie?
Mane Attraction is obviously electric, but for my money, Jett Fillmore wins in a walk. That’s up there with Ty Crane. The star of the Thorns and arguably the greatest roarball player of all time, Fillmore is a Gabrielle Union–voiced black panther with a supreme fictional handle. The two t’s are inspired. Take it from an authority.
23. Did Andre Iguodala help in the making of this film?
That’s a really specific question and makes me think you know the answer’s yes. Director Tyree Dillihay and codirector Adam Rosette brought in Iguodala for a day to make sure the plays on the court were grounded in reality. I saw clips of him at a whiteboard, diagramming actual Warriors plays that were used in the movie. He also voiced a zebra named Iggy, and I’ll give you one guess what his job in roarball was.
24. He was a ref, wasn’t he?
He was. He absolutely was.
25. Were any other professional basketball players in the movie?
Dwyane Wade plays a bull named Rosette. A’ja Wilson plays an alligator named Kouyate. Kevin Love plays a gorilla named Daskas. Angel Reese plays a polar bear named Propp.
26. Were any of the characters clearly inspired by current or former NBA players?
There’s a perpetually pierced Komodo dragon named Modo that’s very Rodman coded. His claws are painted in different colors, and he has a stud in his tongue. He’s voiced by Nick Kroll.
[Tyler Parker
Tyler Parker](https://www.theringer.com/creator/tyler-parker)Tyler Parker is a staff writer at The Ringer and the author of ‘A Little Blood and Dancing.’