Screenshot via X (right pic)
This just in: Joe Burrow has officially cracked the code when it comes to enticing gay men to care about football.
This past weekend, the star NFL QB played in an exhibition flag football contest against Team USA. The game will make its debut at the 2028 Summer Games in Los Angeles, and the Americans enter as heavy favorites.
In a pair of exhibition games against NFL greats, they showed why. Team USA beat Burrow’s squad by a score of 39-16 before crushing Tom Brady’s team 43-16 in the final. As the lopsided scores indicate, there were few highlights on the NFL side.
But Burrow produced one of them. The Cincinnati Bengals pass-thrower scampered to the end zone in the first half, showing off some of his greatest assets. Literally! An opposing player pantsed him just as he was crossing the goal line.
The end result was a score and a full moon.
The play was so peachy, it requires a second look…
On X, myriad gays thirsted over Burrow’s bum bum. “Oh, we finally get to see the actual burrow,” added comedian and Queerty favorite Jay Jurden.
We call that a real win, regardless of the final score.
Apparently, you don’t become a three-time Pro Bowler without being a little flashy! As a college player at LSU, Burrow experienced a similar pantsing, and took his exposure in stride.
We would expect nothing less from the NFL’s preeminent TikTok daddy. For years, female fans have been thirsty for Burrow on the social media platform.
The league has leaned into Burrow’s #Daddy appeal, sharing a fawning video on its official account. “Oh my God, you look so good, I’m obsessed,” the woman moans.
Same girl!
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When it comes to hot NFL players, Burrow scores on all fronts. In addition to being super handsome, he has great style. He’s walked at the Vogue World Fashion Show in Paris and showed up to training camp with bleached blonde hair.
Currently, he’s sporting long, dirty blonde locks.
Even better, Burrow has voiced support for progressive causes, including the Black Lives Matter movement and reproductive rights. That’s rare for NFL stars, especially in today’s era.
Brady, for example, has never publicly expressed a political thought… outside of having an OG MAGA hat in his Patriots locker.
Contrastingly, Burrow has weighed in on some of the country’s most polarizing issues.
“The Black community needs our help,” he said in June 2020. “They have been unheard for far too long. Open your ears, listen, and speak. This isn’t politics. This is human rights.”
With a strong voice like that, we’re inclined to excuse Burrow’s UFC photo with Tr*mp in 2024, though that was a poor example of judgment.
Speaking of which, some Bengals fans expressed alarm over Burrow’s participation in a for-show flag football event. A tenacious competitor, Burrow always leaves it all on the field.
While that may be scary for Bengals fans, it’s delightful for the rest of us.
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