CLEVELAND, OHIO (TheOBR.com) - Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans!
THE DAILY BLOVIATION
We're in kind of a lull right now, as NFL teams shift their attention from free agency to the draft. There's still some kinda-sorta Browns news out there, like Shelby Harris visiting with the Giants or Makai Lemon traveling to team offices like those of the Saints and Commanders with top ten picks. It's all news I could write about, but I just don't feel like it. I'm not… inspired by it.
This uncooperative lack of news is making my task as a morning bloviator a bit more challenging. Where's the plot? Where's the drama? Where's the handy emotional hook that I can use to get a virtual handful of human beings interested in my piece?
On top of this, I learned this morning that the younger adult set wants their news to be… wait for it… "fun". This is according to a recent study by the Reuters Institute, which totally missed the message and presented their findings with boring tables and charts instead of, I don't know, pantomiming monkeys or something.
So, apparently, with everything going on in the world these days, the news media is supposed to present that in a way that's jolly in order to succeed? Someone pass me the clown makeup.
Shelby Harris
Shelby Harris during happier times. (Photo: USA TODAY Sports)
This really ramps up the expectations for your stolid, hyper-serious, webdork and publisher, who believes that the world rests on the competitiveness of the Cleveland Browns. Well, maybe not the whole world, but my world. So, let's work with what we have:
HARRIS VISTS GIANTS: The long-time journeyman defensive tackle is looking for a new home, since he and the Browns apparently couldn't come to the conclusion that he should be here at a salary he finds acceptable. He had a solid three years in Cleveland, but… how do I make this fun? A seventh-round pick who survived early struggles in the NFL and finally broke through to have a nice career and is now aging out? Uh, yeah, hilarious. Sorry folks.
LEMON IN DEMAND: I guess I could poke fun at Pete Smith and his obvious desperation to get Lemon in a Cleveland Browns uniform during the draft, but he's visiting teams like the Saints and Commanders, who are all picking around where the Browns are in the first round. The Commanders pick right after the Browns, the Saints are after them, and the Dolphins are sitting there at pick 11. All that suggests to me that if the Browns want Lemon, they're likely going to have to pick him at six or trade down just barely. No one ever "sneaks" through the draft anymore, and Lemon looks like he's going to be gone well before the Browns pick at #24. Also noted, this is not fun.
JARVIS LANDRY REVEALS UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS: Ex-Browns WR Jarvis Landry hasn't been in the league for a few years, so I guess it's time for him to appear on podcasts. In a recent episode of "Fourth and South" with Leonard Fournette, Landy wasn't busy praising his former coach, Kevin Stefanski, more than saying that he was "cool to be around". Landry also suggested that his connection with players had faded and that Stefanski wasn't as relatable as he would have expected a young coach to be. That's exciting stuff, right there. And hard to predict too, given that Landry was around for the amazing Baker Mayfield / OBJ era of greatness.
Fun! Is it time for the draft yet?
Newswire Bloviation Archive
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THE WATERCOOLER
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THE LIFT
Positive news from the world of sports and beyond...
The Search for Alien Life Just Identified 45 New Targets
We humans have discovered almost four dozen target planets based on our expectations for life. Which is like us. But what if it isn't? Maybe we're the weirdos. In fact, I'm pretty sure of it. I suspect that life is frequent, because the stuff of life is floating all around the Universe.
It may require a very specific set of conditions, which we've stumbled onto here on Earth. Or maybe it's all over the place. Either way, we have to find out to understand our place in it.
WRAPPING UP
When not refusing to see any humor in our lot in life, Barry McBride is the Publisher and Founder of the OBR and bloviates this nonsense every morning. You can follow him on Twitter @barrymcbride or write him at barry@theobr.com if you are so compelled.
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