BRENT A GOB: This week, Harry Brent's raging about Ben White's return to the England setup, and at those calling for Bruno Fernandes to be crowned PFA Player of the Year
13:37, 27 Mar 2026
Harry Brent AI
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Our man Harry Brent is fuming in his latest column
Ben White getting recalled to the England squad is like the pitiful punishment Chelsea received for buying players to win trophies with secret payments: it's an unjustifiable disgrace.
That sulky, Madge Harvey from Benidorm-looking, soul patch-wearing twerp should be allowed back into the Three Lions setup like Kepa Arrizabalaga should be allowed to start another final for Arsenal.
He deserted his country at the 2022 World Cup after England coach Steve Holland told him off for not doing his homework. Then, displaying the sort of insecure fragility that even Eni Aluko would scoff at, he flew home.
Ben White quit the England squad and flew home midway through the 2022 World Cup
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Ben White quit the England squad and flew home midway through the 2022 World Cup(Image: Getty Images)
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Granted, England needed him as much as the Premier League needs more VAR stoppages. But his pathetic rage-quit shouldn't just be swept under the rug.
It was a slap in the face for the players who would have happily crawled through a mile of sewage while listening to a YouTube compilation of Gary Neville's goalgasms to make the tournament.
Inviting him back sends the sort of weak, counterproductive message that a Keir Starmer U-turn provides: that you can ditch your team-mates, insult your coaches and treat the national shirt the way Just Stop Oil protesters treat Van Gogh paintings: with total disdain, and we'll still come crawling back to you the moment a hamstring twinges.
LONDON, ENGLAND - MARCH 22: Ben White of Arsenal during the Carabao Cup Final match Arsenal and between Manchester City at Wembley Stadium on March 22, 2026 in London, England. (Photo by Justin Setterfield/Getty Images)
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Ben White has returned to the England squad(Image: Justin Setterfield, Getty Images)
Ben White has returned to the England fold
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Ben White has returned to the England fold(Image: PA)
At the World Cup, we're going to need lions. Not lizards who scuttle under the nearest rock when the heat gets turned up.
Besides, Ben White made it clear in Qatar – his ego is more important than his national duty. England should avoid him like Trent Alexander-Arnold avoids making tackles.
Are Bru kidding me?
Am I the only one not buying into the Bruno Fernandes Player of the Year hype? Don't get me wrong – he's playing well, but calling him the best in the league this season is like calling Phil the best Neville.
He's a flat track bully. Like a boiler repairman, he only turns up when the heat's off, spends most of the time whinging, and walks away with a pay cheque that flatters him more than the Manager of the Month award would flatter Igor Tudor.
Bruno Fernandes is in contention to win the PFA Player of the Year award this season
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Bruno Fernandes is in contention to win the PFA Player of the Year award this season(Image: Getty Images)
Eight goals and 16 assists looks lovely on paper. But so does Ange Postecoglou's reign at Tottenham – which was like Chelsea's recruitment strategy: mostly garbage.
Take his assists – most of which have been Conor Gallagher-levels of run-of-the-mill. I watched them all back, and instead of a midfield maestro, what I saw was a bloke who was mostly just standing near the ball when something happened.
Corners. Free-kicks. Little two-yard nudges that your nan could pull off while hanging out the washing.
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The only decent assists have come against [**checks notes**] Wolves, Burnley and Crystal Palace – three sides with the defensive nous of the French military.
Give him enough set pieces and his stats look great. But strip it back and Bruno Fernandes flatters to deceive.
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He's footballing origami – he might seem exceptional from afar, but up close he's just a flimsy bit of paper that people are trying too hard to convince you is art.