> Then one afternoon my agent calls me up and tells me that some teams are considering trading for me. A few days later I’m walking into the Eagles facility in Philly.
>
> Since I hadn’t been suiting up for games at that point, and was practicing less, I was actually feeling pretty good when I came over to the Eagles. And I obviously felt like I needed to prove something. For those first couple days, I mean, let me tell you … I was one of the best DBs out on that practice field. And I was excited, too, because the Eagles were about to play at Green Bay their next game. It was all systems go.
>
> But as game day got closer, my knee kept swelling up more and more. It’s getting worse and worse because of all the reps. And in my head, as much as I’m trying to not think this way, it’s like.… _Here we go again_.
>
> I was freaking out. I couldn’t stop thinking about a potential repeat of what happened in that Bills game. But this time against my former team. In my former home stadium. I mean, I _know_ all those people. So it was even more terrifying.
>
> The team had planned for me to have my knee drained the day before the game, and then to give it a go against the Packers. And I remember hearing that plan and checking my phone and seeing that it was like seven degrees or something in Green Bay, and then just having all these thoughts swirl through my head about my knee in that weather.
>
> I went home the night before we were supposed to be flying out to Green Bay in the morning, and I didn’t sleep a wink. I’m tossing and turning in bed nonstop. I’m worried and anxious and unable to stop all the negative thoughts from creeping in.
>
> I couldn’t do it anymore.
>
> At like 3 or 4 a.m., I sat up in bed and texted everyone with the Eagles. It was like…. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to do this. I can’t keep playing like this.”
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> Then, a few hours later, I went down to the facility and told them all in person.
>
> I was done.
>
> I remember I had this very emotional heart-to-heart talk that morning with Christian Parker, who was the Eagles DBs coach at the time. I was basically crying my eyes out to him about letting _even more_ people down. That’d basically been the story of my life for the previous year, at least in my head — me messing up in some way and letting people down, and then feeling miserable.
>
> I remember telling Coach Parker in that moment: “My head’s messed up right now. My head is truly messed up. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
>
> Deciding to step away from the game was one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to do. But I absolutely did have to do it.