Illustration by Eleanor Shakespeare
The new Prime Minister was hitting the phones. Appointing his cabinet, Andy Burnham was methodically whittling through the list prepared by his close aides, letting down those he was sending to the back benches, congratulating his new star signings. Then the PM heard the ping of a WhatsApp message. It was from one of his most cherished contacts. “Stop! Stop!” he ordered the room, and proceeded to play a video message from David Moyes, the manager of Everton Football Club, congratulating Burnham on his accession. He played it again, and again, and again, his glee increasing each time.
The Glaswegian Moyes, the once flame-haired, now grey-haired, club stalwart, recently returned to Everton as manager after a decade or so away, providing stability and hope after a succession of temporary kings. Burnham is hoping to do the same for the country. And while analogies between the worlds of football and politics can be stretched, the comparisons between Everton supporters and Labour Party members are there to be made: each back a proud team constantly looking to past glories, obsessed with the Eighties, and deeply attached their self-image: the people’s club, the people’s party. And both, of course, can look like losers even when winning.