"If the situation were different, Inbar would probably be at the forefront of every protest, not resting until all the hostages were returned. She was highly principled, opinionated and deeply compassionate. Her life was filled with action and giving," said her father, Haim Haiman.
‘Art was her life’
Inbar, who studied visual communication inHaifa, was supposed to complete her studies last year. "We were invited to the graduate exhibition. There were works by all the graduates, including Inbar, but they left a blank wall for her. Art was her life. She was a nature-loving girl who hiked the Israel National Trail. She must be brought to rest in the land she loved so much," her father added.
The families of Inbar, Judy and Ofra received word that their loved ones had been murdered onOctober 7, 2023, but Hamas took their bodies to Gaza. "We are in a sort of limbo," said Iris Weinstein-Haggai, Judy’s daughter.
"There is no forensic confirmation and the psychological terror in my mind tells me that I can’t be certain of it until she is home. Maybe she is still there, waiting for us to save her? We are stuck between worlds, relying on intelligence reports while envying those who have been able to bury their loved ones."
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איריס וזוהר, בנותיה של ג'ודי ויינשטיין חגי ז"לאיריס וזוהר, בנותיה של ג'ודי ויינשטיין חגי ז"ל
Judy Weinstein-Haggai's daughters Zohar and Iris
(Photo: Avigail Uzi)
‘She was the softest, happiest person’
Judy was murdered after witnessing the murder of her husband, Gadi Haggai. "It’s hard to separate my mother from my father. She made aliyah to Israel from Canada and fell in love with kibbutz life. She was the softest, happiest person I knew and my moral compass," Iris said.
Judy was a teacher in theKibbutz Nirimschools and introduced mindfulness techniques into classrooms to help children develop resilience. She had retired and was set to begin her dream job — teaching mindfulness through puppetry — after the Jewish high holidays.
"Every morning, she wrote a haiku poem and posted it on Facebook. Then she and my father would go for a walk in the fields — that’s when they were taken."
‘The first victim of Kibbutz Be’eri’
Ofra Keidar was also murdered while on her morning walk and is believed to have been the first victim ofKibbutz Be’eri. "She was just two kilometers (1.2 miles) from the kibbutz," said her son, Oren. "The terrorists on motorcycles murdered her even before they reached Be’eri. They likely took her body only on their way back."
"I have come to a certain acceptance. I don't know if they will ever find her," he continued. "I imagine the moment when the liaison officer will call me and say, ‘Come to the forensic institute, we found your mother.’ But I know there’s a chance we will never recover her body."
Oren believes his mother would have told him to stop dwelling on the past. "She was a pragmatic woman who didn’t care for sentimentality. She was a dairy farmer for 40 years, working with calves. She wasn’t the type to show affection with hugs and kisses but she did everything for us.
“My sister, Yael, has special needs. Despite doctors saying she would never communicate, my parents refused to accept that. Every week, they took her from Be’eri to Jerusalem for therapy. Now Yael reads, writes and speaks — all because of my mother’s determination."
Even in her final moments, Ofra remained true to herself. "My brother managed to record her last conversation. She was naïve — she thought they were Bedouins trying to steal. She yelled at them, ‘Enough already, stop it.’ She was in her own world," Oren said. "We need to focus on the living before the dead but I fear she will end up like Ron Arad — her burial place unknown."
‘Holding women’s bodies hostage is inhumane’
Haim Haiman, Inbar’s father, expressed his frustration: "The fact that Hamas is still holding the bodies of these women is a failure. The fact that there are hostages at all is a failure and after a year and a half, it’s even more so. There are difficulties in implementing the next phase of the deal and I don’t have the answers.
“But my real fear is that Inbar will disappear as time goes on. We will never be able to hold her, to kiss her, to help her heal. All we can hope for is to bring back her body so we can begin our own healing. The sorrow and heartbreak deepen every day. Losing a child is the most painful thing imaginable and it is beyond inhumane when you can’t even bury them."
Iris Weinstein-Haggai shared her anger: "I’m from Kibbutz Nir Oz andShiri Bibas(who was murdered in captivity) was my neighbor. It pains me that not all the women were included in the hostage deal. What kind of world are we living in where they keep women’s bodies as bargaining chips?
“I want to be able to visit my mother’s grave on Memorial Day — assuming she really was murdered. My daughter recently asked me, ‘How do you know they’re dead if there’s no grave?’ My mother was a 70-year-old woman who weighed 45 kilograms (99 pounds), the smallest person in the world — and they are keeping her as leverage?” she added.
“The government doesn’t understand how crucial it is to bring back the deceased. It’s convenient for them to ignore 35 missing people that are an entire world in their own right."