OBR Newswire Bloviation Header
OBR Newswire Bloviation Header
Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans!
It's been a rough morning at the OBR World Headquarters and Technology Campus. Cleverly disguised as an ordinary home on a boring suburban street, the Campus has been shell-shocked by frequent power outages and flickering throughout the morning. The level of computer reboots and expletive-uttering has been outstanding.
Beyond that, I have an 8:15 appointment at urgent care because I'm under the weather this morning. The world is conspiring against the Daily Newswire, per usual. I'm convinced there are mid-level deities whose purpose is to delay or eradicate the OBR Daily Newswire. The Romans had Gods for paperclips and sticks that end in jagged edges, surely there must be one for Newswire thwarting. I call him Otis, the God of Newswire Thwart.
Moreover, the media has done a horrible job of providing grist for the Newswire mill by either not writing much this morning, or hiding it behind paywalls, leaving me with little news to peruse.
Fortunately for me, there's always Adam Schefter, who never sleeps and is right on top of this Kirk Cousins thing.
Kirk Cousins, who was benched with just three games left last season in favor of Michael Penix, Jr., has been the topic of trade speculation. With Atlanta’s decision official, it removes any need for the Falcons to rush any decision on Cousins’ future, be it staying on the team,… https://t.co/WtD5jCCtWf
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) March 15, 2025
s
There must be a god of Cleveland Browns Quarterback Thwart as well.
The Browns had clearly been playing a game of chicken with the Falcons, who many thought would release Cousins, now a backup quarterback, rather than pay a $10 million roster bonus. The Browns appear to have been so bent on Cousins that they've willingly let other options be cherry-picked while they wait.
Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins
The joke's on them, as it turns out, since the Falcons have called that particular bluff and either are legitimately intent on keeping Cousins to grumpily hold a keyboard or are hoping they can "buy" a draft pick by extorting a desperate team (the Browns, per usual) to deal off a mid-round pick.
Even Schefter, not known for his predictive capabilities, sees a trade or eventual release as an option.
So we wait. Some more. The tension is nearly unbearable, right?
Have a good one! GO BROWNS!
Newswire Bloviation Archive