(RNS) — Women around the world who seek Jewish divorces under religious law face “significant systematic challenges that extend far beyond isolated cases,” according to a recently released survey of more than 500 women from 11 countries who have undergone the process.
The survey, conducted by the Israeli women’s advocacy organization Chochmat Nashim in collaboration with several other Jewish women’s organizations between 2022 and 2024, is the first comprehensive data-driven study aiming to quantify rabbinical court, or beit din, obstacles in the path of women during divorce court proceedings, the organization said in a statement.
Overall, 48.4% of women surveyed said their experience in rabbinical court harmed their mental health.
“Divorce is painful, but the focus of this survey was to find out if the system itself, the process of being in rabbinical court, made a painful situation that much worse,” Shoshanna Keats Jaskoll, co-founder and director of Chochmat Nashim, told RNS. “We wanted to learn what needs fixing.”
To dissolve a Jewish marriage under religious law, a husband must give his wife a divorce decree, called a get. While many men grant a get within a reasonable amount of time, some do not, leading to a drawn-out process.
“How has engaging with this beit din impacted your mental health?” (Graphic courtesy Chochmat Nashim)
In Israel, no civil marriage or divorce exists, so all Jewish divorces must go through the rabbinical court system, although issues with property and custody can often be handled civilly. Outside Israel, even when civil divorce is an option, a wife whose husband refuses to provide a get must rely on the rabbinical court to extricate her from her Jewish marriage.
Without a get, a Jewish woman is not free to remarry or have another man’s children, according to Jewish law.
In Israel, the law permits rabbinical courts to prevent a recalcitrant husband from having a bank account or leaving the country, but only after the court has designated him a get-refuser and his wife as an agunah, or a chained woman. And often, judges consider divorce a last resort, which can leave a woman who is unsuccessful in receiving a get stuck in the marriage for years — and in rare cases, decades.
Jaskoll estimates 2,000 to 3,000 women around the world are currently agunot, or chained women. She said much of what’s wrong with the system “has nothing to do with Jewish law and everything to do with the lack of professionalism and (with) disrespect for women in the divorce system.”
“There are things that rabbinical court judges can do to immediately improve the situation,” she said.
The survey, which studied 67 Orthodox rabbinical courts in 52 communities, found that women seeking Jewish divorces face numerous challenges, regardless of where they live. Women in Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, Chile, France, Germany, Israel, South Africa, the United States and the United Kingdom participated in the survey.
Overall, nearly 30% of the respondents said they experienced get refusal.
“Was Get Refusal an issue in your case?” (Graphic courtesy Chochmat Nashim)
More than one-third of respondents said they were pressured to relinquish something, such as legal representation or child support, to obtain their divorce. And, 41% waited more than a year for a get, with 16% waiting more than three years.
In the U.S., 38% of wives surveyed waited over a year for a get, while 55% of UK wives did the same.
However, Jaskoll said she believes most divorce cases could be quickly resolved if rabbinical judges — who in Orthodox communities are all men — made a conscious effort to listen to what wives were saying and were trained to identify and deal with manipulative husbands.
“The first pain point is how many judges don’t believe or respect a woman’s experience,” she said. “Divorce is one of the most painful moments of their lives, and the wife is in a room full of men.”
Aside from in Israel, where women can represent wives in court, very few women work in the rabbinical court system, she added.
“I know several women who explained that their husbands cheated on them or went to prostitutes. It didn’t matter to the judges,” Jaskoll said.
The second problem is the lack of an established timeline to dissolve a marriage.
“When someone is chained and their fate isn’t in their own hands, every day is an eternity,” Jaskoll said. As a divorce proceeding drags on, often with rabbinical judges insisting the couple engage in marriage counseling even in cases of infidelity or spousal abuse, “the wife feels pressured” to relinquish her rights to jointly owned property, child support payments or custody, she added.
“Sarah,” a modern Orthodox woman who asked to be identified anonymously because she feared her ex-husband’s reprisals, first filed for a civil divorce in a U.S. court in 2021. Her then-husband countersued in a local rabbinical court.
She ended up relinquishing most of the child support the civil court had granted her and received her get three years later*.*
“In contrast to some rabbinical courts, this one had no transparency when it came to what was Jewish law and what wasn’t,” she told RNS by phone. “They refused to provide their policies in writing. Speaking for myself, the court seemed paternalistic, as if a woman’s autonomy could be leveraged.”
Fainy Sukenik, an Israel-based social activist and founder of Ba’asher Telchi, an organization that assists ultra-Orthodox women in the midst of divorce, praised the survey.
“It is the first survey I’ve seen about the divorcing woman’s experience,” she said. “Most of the judges don’t consider this point of view. My hope is that when they see the statistics showing how women’s mental health is suffering, they will say, ‘I didn’t mean it. I was trying to do my best,’ and will ask themselves, ‘How can I do better?’”
Sukenik, who was herself an agunah more than a decade ago, said she still feels anxious whenever an official letter from a government office arrives in her mailbox due to her experience with the divorce process.
“It was 13 years ago,” she said. “I’m remarried with a beautiful family, but when I was in divorce court, every letter they sent was bad news. The dayanim (rabbinical court judges) should know how their actions affect the women who have gone through their court system, even years later.”
While rabbinic court judges are experts in Jewish divorce law, the vast majority have never been trained to identify factors like spousal abuse, addiction or mental illness, Jaskoll said.
“Modern marriages have modern social issues, including mental illness,” she said. “On the outside, husbands may be charming, but behind doors, they can be abusive. But all too often, the court doesn’t listen to the wife. That needs to change.”
Chochmat Nashim will share the survey’s findings with rabbinical courts around the world, Jaskoll said. It also recently created a website with reviews of various rabbinical courts around the world. People can rate and review their own experiences in the courts, aiming to improve the systems and transparency.
“My belief is that we all want the same thing: a holy Jewish marriage and, when necessary, a dignified divorce,” Jaskoll said. “We want the system to see where they’re going wrong.”