He’s 30, he can’t pass, he can’t play, he’s a relic of David Moyes’ past. Tomas Soucek, the un-cool hero of West Ham.
It’s been some time since I lost patience with the footballing intelligencia who don’t get Soucek, who deride his every move, who will tell you he’s just not good enough.
My feeling now is that if you don’t understand Soucek, you don’t really understand football or realise just how important he is to West Ham, even if Lucas Paqueta has more technical ability in his right toe than the Czech captain has in his entire body.
I’d rather Soucek in the trenches beside me than Paqueta. You can bet on that!
Every game now, month after month, Soucek is derided by those back-bedroom social media experts with laptops. Last Saturday, ahead of the game at Everton, some West Ham fans - and I use that term loosely - were slagging him off. Can’t this, can’t that, can’t play, not good enough. Then he scores again.
West Ham’s away following just love him. Their song - “Soucek again, Soucek again, Ole Ole” - boomed out of the Lower Bullens Road Stand, by far the worst viewing away fans section ever. Terrible facilities, horrible obstructed viewing - but we all love it, don’t we?
Proper old school and showing its age, but Goodison Park is a real football ground. I might have mentioned before that I spent two decades working in Liverpool at both their football clubs, when I needed to pay a mortgage.
So I will miss the Grand Old Lady and last weekend was the final time West Ham will play there before the much trumpeted move to the 52,888 capacity Bramley-Moore Dock stadium.
It sits on the banks of the Mersey, perfect for that howling wind that crashes in off the Irish Sea, not quite as nice as the riverside stroll by he Thames from Putney Bridge to Fulham’s more gentile Craven Cottage.
And from what the locals say, it won’t be any easier to get to from Lime Street than Goodison Park is, so we’ll have to see how that move goes. You fear for their fans after the experiences we’ve had with the move to Stratford, but at least they own the place and can make it their home, unlike some I could mention.
Can they replicate the atmosphere that 39,000 manage in the tight, intimidating surroundings they’ve occupied for something like 133 years? Time will tell, and we’ll see next season.
As for us, I really enjoy the company of the away fans, apart from the daft twats who throw beer up in the air, what a waste. They are real West Ham, unlike the droves of day trippers we now endure at the London Stadium.
There’s none of the constant abuse over style of play, they just want to win. Of course as soon as you mention away fans you get the usual abuse about the priority points and ticket distribution, but these folk have put the time in, done the miles - Liverpool on a Wednesday, Newcastle on a Monday, Leicester on a Tuesday, Southampton on a Thursday - all invariably without train service support. Loyalty means loyalty.
The club are tinkering, it seems, with the away season tickets, which seems not to be an issue for those I’ve spoken to. What is clear is that the team appreciate the away following. Head Coach Graham Potter makes a point of ensuring everyone comes across to applaud.
Even David Moyes pointedly applauded our away following last weekend and we sang ‘champions of Europe’ back to him. Nice touch all round.
Even though an annoying Manchester City fan somehow got onto my social media to insist we "hadn’t been champions of Europe". You’d think he had more pressing issues to worry about. Why he wanted to dig us out I’m not sure, although I did point out that we’ve played in more European finals than them.
It’s been quiet ever since, he’d never heard of the InterToto.
So back to Soucek who stole the show again with that neat control in a packed area before sliding a precise shot past the excellent Jordan Pickford, who’d kept out a couple of goal-bound efforts from Jarrod Bowen earlier.
Tomas, you see, never lets us down. Crowned Czech Footballer of the Year for the fourth time this week, they think the same in his homeland. He’s got 77 caps and 14 international goals, coupled with 235 games for West Ham and 39 goals.
That’s 312 games and 53 goals for club and country - his latest cap coming in the 2-1 win against the Faroe Islands at the weekend. And yet some people still think he’s not good enough for the top level.
Tenacity, work rate, bravery, goals, blood and guts. That’s what you get from Tomas. And it seems he’s an all-round nice guy, who gets West Ham, does charity work and sponsored runs too.
I’ve friends who see him out on the school run; he loves us, he loves the club and the community and he’ll never give less than 100 per cent. He does not deserve the constant stream of abuse.
Seriously, though, he won’t be around forever. We spent £40m on Max Kilman and he’s two years younger, and although Soucek has two years left on his contract, his value will drop now. Maybe we’ll keep him for every, but Potter will surely be reviewing all his players ahead of the summer.
Word is that Moyes is interested in the player he signed for us in 2020. Nobody would be surprised if Soucek - and his out-of-contract mate Vladimir Coufal were being considered by Moyes.
I have no issue with Potter wanting an upgrade. He’s supposedly wanting a younger,, athletic box-to-box player in midfield. As I might have said before, this is an industry, a business, everyone has a value and a price.
But Potter will know he will need to buy someone who will run his heart out, score ten goals from midfield and give blood when needed. Until he finds that improvement, I’m happy with Soucek and his fans in the away throng will agree.
He’s my Hammer of the Year. Soucek again, Soucek again, Soucek again, Ole Ole.
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