For more than four decades Leicester City old boy Dean Sturridge hid a secret from those close to him - including team-mates, family, and friends - due to feelings of shame, embarrassment and guilt associated with his savage gambling addiction.
At 51, Sturridge has now summoned the courage to share his struggles with gambling in a bid to raise awareness, caution young footballers about its dangers and help others facing similar challenges. The ex-Premier League player, currently a successful agent, refrained from betting on football throughout his career and has remained bet-free for five-and-a-half years.
Reflecting on his journey, Sturridge told the Mirror: "It took me 40 years-plus to realise I was an addict. Gambling can be a form of escapism for a footballer.
"You feel a pressure, maybe you're having a hard time with a manager, if you're not playing, you can get bored, but gambling can be a release and also feed your ego.
"I think I overachieved in my career. But away from the pitch, there was the burden and stress because of how much money I'd lose, then chasing your losses... and then thinking about your next bet.
"Football was never my poison. Horse racing, golf, maybe a couple of other sports, but that also shows I had a level of control because I knew football was taboo. Although I had an addiction, I had a form of self control."
Sturridge, who also played for Derby and Wolves, added: "I've never totted up my losses. In the Gamblers' Anonymous room, we rarely talk about financial losses as these can vary dramatically, but will still be relevant to each person.
"I have never worked out how much money I have lost because, reflecting on my addiction, I have learnt that my biggest loss was that of time and connections with my family and friends. This is where I have most regrets.
"It fills me with shame, embarrassment and guilt. All those different emotions. Now we have to eradicate this stigma to where people are comfortable talking about it."
Sturridge has taken on the role of an ambassador for Gordon Moody, a UK charity established in 1971 which aims to provide help and treatment to those impacted by gambling addiction. Part of his duties involve spreading the word on International Awareness Day for Gambling Harm, on March 26.
Detailing his personal journey, Sturridge recalled the beginnings of his struggle with gambling, which started with errands to place bets for his mum and escalated.
He explained: "A lot of addicts will say this. I had a big win at a young age and I was thinking, 'I'm ahead of the game here, I've got a secret system which nobody else knows'. So I gambled when I was a young player, 17 or 18. I was going to buy my first car but then I gambled away my signing-on fee and had to borrow the money from someone else."
Reflecting on the longer-term impact of his addiction, Sturridge added: "Did it impact on my career? Well, I did extras all the time when I was a youngster - practising my first touch, practising my finishing - and then when you get older you can't wait to get away to put a bet on and the day's finished by 1pm.
"When I was flying, playing regularly and scoring, I had no interest in betting because you are focused on your football and being successful. But if you're out injured, you've got a tight hamstring or whatever, you are suddenly thinking about having a bet.
"When I was playing football, I was not aware of Gamblers' Anonymous or Gordon Moody. I think I needed the support of someone else or the education and a message to say, 'This is available to you'. I wish I was aware of that in my early 20s."
The turning point for Sturridge, who scored six goals for the Foxes in 22 games in 2001, arrived during a seemingly ordinary moment. An advert with the simple slogan When The Fun Stops, Stop resonated with him as he watched TV with his wife.
He recognised a pattern in himself where the excitement of betting had faded into simply chasing losses, prompting his desire for change.
"You can't see the wood for the trees sometimes. It was like a lightbulb moment for me. I'm thinking, 'Hang on a minute, my last five or 10 bets, there's been no dopamine rush. It's no fun anymore.'
"My wife knew I had a problem and an issue, and me breaking down was confirmation for her. Now I wear my recovery as a badge of honour. I'm proud of it because it's made me a better person and I'm more at peace now with myself than when I was a footballer."
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