(Evan Cohen For The Washington Post)
I remember sitting in a dreary examination room talking with the veterinarian. Her patient was my 17-year-old Jack Russell terrier, who was not just certifiably old, but suffering from arthritis and dementia. Zoe would get lost in the house, often staring into a corner of the dining room, then begin to howl. I asked the vet, “How will I know?” Unspoken but understood was, “How will I know when it’s time to say goodbye, to let her go?”
The vet sent me home that day with a pamphlet containing a short quiz meant to evaluate Zoe’s quality of life. The 16 questions covered everything from changes in breathing, pacing, signs of pain, loss of appetite, uncontrolled urination and bowel movements, lack of sociability, signs of anxiety, changes in nighttime activity, among others.
I answered to the best of my ability in an online version, then tallied up my score. The assessment: “Zoe’s quality of life is quite concerning. It is likely that changes will continue to occur and become more severe in the near future.” When I spoke with the vet a few days later, she put it to me this way: “Zoe is in the window where this choice makes sense. It is not too soon to consider this option. ...”
That was the permission I had sought, but it still felt too soon, which is a common reaction among pet owners. Frank Andonoplas, who chose to put his bichon frisé to sleep at the age of 18, told me it was “the worst and hardest experience of my life, worse than losing my parents.” I understood that. Many of us experience unconditional love with our pets, which truthfully is not always the case with Mom and Dad. Zoe had been a huge emotional support through the deaths of my parents and my divorce, and I felt I owed her. In retrospect, I wonder what it was I owed her: more life, or less suffering?
Deciding on the right time to euthanize a beloved dog or cat can be excruciating. Many pet owners hope for a natural death, but as Mary Gardner, CEO and co-founder of the Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice network, told me, a natural death is not always a peaceful one. An animal may be in respiratory distress, or kidney or heart failure. Reluctant to euthanize too soon, pet owners may wait too long, when their pet is suffering.
“I get it that you don’t want to lose a day, or an hour with a loved one,” says Gardner, but added, “There is a saying that a week too soon is better than a day too late.” A friend, Douglas Smith, who has put two beloved dogs down, agreed: “It was so very hard to make the decision but I knew it was the right thing. ... Don’t prolong their suffering because you’re afraid.”
When it comes to pain, there are three general categories, vets say. The first is pain from arthritis or a spinal issue. The second is pain associated with disease or organ failure. Those two are relatively easy to understand because we can usually recognize their symptoms. But the third type of suffering is emotional, and we don’t always associate anxiety, depression and cognitive disorders with pain — or even with our pets. But if a dog or cat is howling, whining, panting or drooling, that animal is suffering. I wish I had better understood that during Zoe’s last months, when she still loved to walk and play but would howl every night. That is why the quality-of-life scale I had filled out contains five mental health questions in addition to physical and social ones.
When to treat or stop?
Just because we can continue to medically treat our pets doesn’t mean we should. “It doesn’t make you a better pet owner,” Gardner said. It does mean you can afford it, not only monetarily but in terms of time (taking them to the vet, physical therapy), emotional cost (comforting them, cleaning up after them) and the physical demands (carrying them, positioning them for an IV treatment). It’s a lot. In my Zoe’s case, when she would no longer eat dog food, I took to cooking for her on a daily basis, trying to tempt her with scrambled eggs, rice and eggs, and even chopped chicken.
The cost
Whether you take your pet to your vet’s office or to an animal emergency center or bring a vet to the house, euthanasia usually costs around $300 to $500, although there are regional differences. At the Animal Humane Society, the fee for dogs and cats is about $100; guinea pigs and reptiles are about half that amount. (Those fees don’t include cremation.)
The medicines to put a pet to sleep
The gold standard for euthanasia is a two-step process. The American Veterinary Medical Association recommends a sedative to start. It’s usually injected into a muscle or under the skin and can take five to 10 minutes for the animal to fall asleep or enter a nice swoozy state without pain or anxiety. The second medicine is pentobarbital sodium, which has been successfully used for veterinary euthanasia procedures since the early 20th century. It takes effect in a few seconds.
Making it a ‘good’ death
Both experts and pet owners offered numerous suggestions for once you have made the decision:
Try to give your pet their best day or several days in advance, providing special treats, places and toys.
Remember that your pet doesn’t understand death (or fear it).
Ask a close friend or family to be with you during the process, for support and then comfort.
Once you realize that your pet is in pain and distress, putting off euthanization doesn’t make it easier on you or the pet; it could make it harder, especially if your pet dies alone or in pain.
Ask your vet if they will come to your house for the procedure. Many animals suffer great anxiety at their vet’s office, and the process may be more peaceful at home.
Vets who go to you will usually take the animal with them if you choose cremation. That’s what I did with my Zoe. It broke my heart to carry her lifeless body to the car, but I knew I had done right by her.
I asked Mary Gardner for a last piece of advice: “Say ‘I love you’ to your pet every day because when they pass you’ll wish you could say it one more time.”
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(Abbey Lossing for The Washington Post)
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