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OBR Newswire Bloviation Header
OBR Newswire Bloviation Header
Good morning, Cleveland Browns fans!
There is no shortage of links on today's OBR Daily Newswire. It's jam-packed with news, rumors, and the latest decrees from the 32 untouchable despots who make up the NFL League Owners. Probably of most significant immediate interest, the OBR's Lane Adkins has been on a tear in both Insider (Rumor) Central and Ask the Insiders with the scoop on what's happening behind the scenes. You, uh, might want to subscribe to the OBR if you haven't already. Annual subscriptions are currently 50% off, so there's that.
I'm unsure when I first started conflating NFL team owners with royalty. I'm guessing it was in the 1990s when I was constantly poking at NFL owners who were blackmailing their fans about moving to Cleveland if they didn't get new stadiums, which was about a dozen of them.
Think about it: How many real businesses would survive regardless of what the leader does because of built-in profitability? How many real businesses survive the abject nepotism that you find in the NFL? Not many. NFL teams are not real businesses that have to struggle and battle competitors, and their owners can be completely insane dolts and still thrive, just like King George. NFL Owners can even appoint themselves General Managers so they can play fantasy football with real people's lives.
Real royals in places like Great Britain probably envy the NFL owners, who can do whatever they want, whenever they want, and never have to smile while meeting smug politicians from foreign countries.
All that being pointed out, the NFL Kings and Queens handed down royal statements of varying merit yesterday. On the upside, they officially recognized the AAFC statistics and championships as having value, making the Browns championships in that era "count," even though they haven't appeared in a Super Bowl. Not in XII. Not in LVII, not in XXXIV. None of them. But now we can tell Steeler fans to go pound sand when they brag about championships because the Browns won a bunch before most of us were even alive, and when Paul Brown's legacy belonged to Cleveland and not the pale imitation franchise he founded in Cincinnati. How far we've fallen. At least we have cartoon dogs.
NOTE: I'm still bitter about no one paying attention to my proposals to abandon the "Dawgs" of the 1980s and rebuild the Browns' image in a way that salutes the dominant Paul Brown era - an era of genius ideas, progressive integration of rosters, and actual success. Hence, you can discard the tone I've set in today's bloviation as simply my being peevish today. Everything's fine.
The league owners also decided to "table" (i.e., wimp out on) a proposal to ban the Tush Push rugby play from NFL football. I am not a fan of the "tush push" because it doesn't look like real modern pro football to me, but rather a hangover from the early 1900s when running backs were given names like Bronko Nagurski. I guess I'm inconsistent in wanting to herald the NFL's distant past but not liking its rugby roots, but, dammit, if I wanted to watch rugby, I'd watch rugby.
Jerry Jones
A totally not out-of-control NFL owner speaks. (Photo: Getty)
While I'm busy thrashing NFL owners, I have to say that (for all the criticism he receives) Jimmy Haslam seems to be learning from his previous mistakes. He handled the Myles Garrett situation correctly. He took the blame for the Deshaun Watson debacle, although he's immune from any real punishment for the error. He's not getting draft advice from homeless guys anymore. His resolute commitment to Andrew Berry and Kevin Stefanski is commendable for his loyalty and perseverance, even if a large section of the fanbase disagrees with it. At least he can no longer be accused of having an itchy trigger finger after a disappointing season.
So, if we're unable to change owners after a quarter-century of failure, at least we have one who seems capable of adapting over time, which is nice. I'm sure he would appreciate the compliment if he cared one whit about what's said about him on a site created by a fan upset about having his team stolen thirty years ago. I'm guessing not.
Wow, what an excoriating bloviation this turned out to be. I didn't intend that when I started writing. Oh well. At least I'm not writing about hummingbirds or insisting on bloviation avoidance this morning, so there's that.
Have a good one! GO BROWNS!
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